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Old 30-07-10, 12:10 PM   #1
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Default Feeling Suicidal? - Please read this first

The following information does not offer mental health treatment. Whilst much research has been complied, neither myself or TeenForumz are health-care professionals and in no way should this be considered a substitute for consultation with a professional.

UK suicide hotline: 08457 90 90 90
USA suicide hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE

If we’re going to talk about suicide, I’m going to be frank with you. Some of you reading this might think that this article can be viewed as an advert for suicide but without talking about it openly, how can it be properly discussed? If you are feeling suicidal or depressed in any way, hopefully reading this will help you understand why you are feeling this way and what you can do to change it.

You’re not crazy
You do not have to be crazy to think about suicide; most people who commit suicide are not mentally ill. The majority of people who commit suicide are sad, hopeless, angry or just can’t handle life anymore after being dealt a terrible blow. Suicide is a solution and it does solve problems, at least your problems. If you succeed, nothing can hurt you anymore and whatever pain you’re in will end as soon as you stop breathing. When you begin to think about suicide as a way out, things begin to feel better because you’ve been stuck with a problem that has no answer and finally, you’ve found one.

We all try to make the right decisions in life and frankly, considering suicide is the biggest decision you can make. Sometimes we make the right decision and sometimes we make the wrong decisions but luckily, as we get older, we learn from our mistakes and get a little smarter. Usually, we make the wrong decision because we don’t have all the facts and this is the same for suicide because suicidal people are often depressed and are not thinking clearly, and do not have all the facts, even if they think they do. And because suicide is a permanent solution, maybe you should only make the decision when you’re feeling good again and you have all the facts.

The right to die
Do you have the right to die? There is a big debate around this question. Many religions condemn suicide as “Playing God” and in many countries, attempting suicide is illegal. On the other hand, people who are terminally ill and are receiving painful treatment with no sign or improvement argue that suicide or assisted suicide is the humane solution.

Most people who commit suicide are not terminally ill or psychotic but depressed. If you attempt suicide and fail, many things could happen. They may take you jail. You may get taken to hospital. They may let you go if you promise to not do it again. They may treat you and let you go home. They may send you to it psychiatric ward or a mental hospital. They may not give a damn. Everyone who is part of “The System” has a different view on suicide and everyone who attempts suicide is a unique case. There’s no guarantee about what will happen when you try to kill yourself; suicide is a risky business.

One step back
It’s not easy to kill someone, especially yourself. Before you do, I’m going to ask you to consider doing one thing; not for me, but for yourself. Take one little step back from the suicide decision, just for today at least. Flush the pills down the toilet, throw the razor blades away, give the gun to a friend or stop going to that high bridge. Remove the temptation just for the moment. When we’re upset or angry, it’s harder to resist temptation and by putting the temptation just out of reach, it puts some time between us and our impulses. Taking a step back, gives us time to think, to know all the facts, to see things differently. It’s never too late to turn back.

Everyone dies, it’s the only thing certain in life. At some point in the future, you will die. It might be tomorrow or it might be in 60 years time. Many people who choose suicide decide that if they cannot control anything in life, at least they can control when they die. Being in control of anything is a good feeling and not being in control can be frightening or upsetting. But by planning suicide, it can become an obligation rather than personal control.

You may have made plans to take your life but no matter how strongly you promised yourself, you can always change your mind. In the next few hours, days or weeks, something may happen that changes your mind. So for now, take a step back.

Depression and loneliness
When you’re depressed, all your other feelings seem useless. Nothing is funny, nothing sounds good or tastes good. Being depressed is not caring whether you respond to life or not. If it gets worse, nothing can be imagined to ever be good again and you begin to think depressed which leads you deeper and deeper until there seems to be no way out and you’re on your own.

Loneliness is one of the places that thoughts of suicide can come from. When you are lonely, you can look around and see how other people do not appear to be lonely. And seeing everyone else with something you don’t have can be awful. Being alone is different from being lonely. You can be on top of a mountain with no one for miles and not feel lonely; or in the middle of a crowded room and feel hopelessly lonely.

If you’ve been feeling depressed for a while, I’m sure you’ve asked yourself if you’re ever going to begin feeling better and you’ve probably answered that with one word - never. The good news is that no matter how depressed or lonely you are right now or how hopeless everything seems to be, sooner or later, it will lift and you’ll begin to feel better. Like most people, you’ll get over the depression and it will just be a memory; a part of your history that has shaped you. Depression doesn’t last forever. It comes and goes like the common cold and like the common cold, no matter how bad it is, it will run it’s course and you’ll get back to normal.

Most depressions get better all by themselves within a few months (mine did) and with a bit of counselling or medicine, you could be all fixed up in a couple of weeks. Your depression might not be your fault at all. If your body is a little low on a certain kind of salt (lithium carbonate) or your brain was a little low on a chemical called serotonin or you’ve just given birth and your body is lacking essential chemicals that control your positive state of mind; you could feel depressed and it not be your fault at all. And all of these can be solved with a simple tablet that you take every day and means you’ll never feel depressed again.

When you were a little kid, were you ever so angry at your parents that you threatened to hold your breath until you died or run away from home and never come back? Looking back on it now, holding your breath or running away from the people you love the most seems a childish and foolish thing to do but couldn’t a suicide threat be an adult version of the same thing?

You may not see yourself as angry or an angry person but anger has many names (bitter, aggravated, pessimistic, irritated, annoyed etc). Many people (including myself at one point) say that they never get mad or lose their temper but ask yourself this. “Is any part of my wish to die because I am frustrated with the way things are going?” If your answer is yes then you may be a lot more angry than you think.

No matter how angry you are, you do not have the right to scream and shout, break things or hurt yourself or others. The way you express your anger is not out of your control and these steps may help you stay in control.

1) Learn to recognise when you are getting angry. Anger makes our heart beat fast, blood pressure rise, our muscles tense up and sugar is released into the blood. When you feel a sudden rush of tension, your face becoming flushed or you think “Christ that makes me mad”, notice this as the first sign of anger.

2) Next, say to yourself, THINK! When we are angry, our brains stop working and our instincts take control. Thinking while angry is difficult but not impossible and if you can keep your brain on board, wonderful things begin to happen.

3) Ask yourself why you are feeling angry. Work out exactly who or what made you feel like this. Are you frightened, frustrated, threatened by them/it? Asking these questions will help you understand why your anger rises and leads to the next step.

4) Anger makes you feel very strong. What are you planning to do with all this power and strength? Rather than using it to hit some thing or someone or hurt yourself, use it to do good and benefit those around around you. For example, if your parents are mad at you for not doing your school work well enough and this makes you really mad; try and use the strength from your anger to do the work better next time and prove your parents wrong. Set yourself a goal, something to aim for.

Take Martin Luther King Jr. as an example. He was angry at the racial discrimination he faced every day of his life. He knew the source of his anger and understood that violence and aggression doesn’t automatically follow anger. Rather than turning this anger on himself and getting sick and dying, he used the strength and power it gave him to lead a revolution. His protests were not violent and they worked, even after a man who could not control his anger killed the greatest man who could.

Anger is natural so before you kill yourself to show someone how mad you are, remember that you can use your anger to do good because your suicide will have created nothing, contributed nothing and changed nothing.

Everyone experiences stress in life and most of the time we are able to deal with it and use it to achieve our full potential. Sometimes however, we have more stress in our lives that we can manage at one time. It’s important to remember that it doesn’t matter what other people think is stressful; if you find a particular piece of coursework stressful then it is stressful, even if your friends are fine with it. Every person is different and only you can define what is stressful for you.

There are times in our lives where all of a sudden we can be under lots of stress from lots of different things. Pressures from school, family, friends, work and many other places can all contribute and without warning we can be swept off our feet and feel as though there’s no way out. To try and regain control, we grasp at any possible solutions and suicide seems better than the current turmoil.

But it’s important to realise that actually, you’re not in control of what is going on. You can’t control when you’re exams are or how many words you need to write before Monday. All you can do is ride things out, do the best you can and let things happen the way things are going to happen. Whether you believe in fate or not, you can only do your best and if things don’t quite turn out as you wanted, it doesn’t matter because you’ll have lots more opportunities in life. Life is long and because things didn’t go quite to plan this time, it means you’ll have more determination to succeed with whatever you want to later in life.

Parents and family
Chances are, you probably either still live with your parents or with some other form of family. Our families are supposed to be people we can go to for comfort, reassurance where we are loved and secure. If this breaks down then we can be left feeling lost and hopeless.

Some parents blame their children for their own unhappiness. Have you ever heard your parents say, “If I/we hadn’t had you, I/we could have been/done/gone .......” Fill in the end yourself but hearing this can be a pretty hard thing to take and may even lead to your own unhappiness. While your parents blame you for their own unhappiness, you don’t have to buy it because if you accept the blame, what can you do about it? Run away, stop eating food or wearing clothes, get out of the picture? If you are the only one holding them back then maybe to relieve them of this burden, you should kill yourself.

But your mother’s happiness is her problem, not yours. Even if you did kill yourself, it wouldn’t make her happy. It would probably make her worse because by killing yourself it would make her believe she was a failure as a mother. Killing yourself to get out of the situation is not the solution to your parents unhappiness, which is their problem, not yours.

I can’t say for sure whether your parents truly love and there’s a chance that you may not know either. They probably though but killing yourself - or trying to - will not bring you any evidence or proof of their love. You’ll get their attention and they might realise that something is wrong but it won’t necessarily lead to any permanent changes.

There’s a good chance that trying to kill yourself will make your parents love you less. They may be angry at you, frightened of you or they may not leave you alone in case you do it again. You’ll certainly get their attention for a short time but it’s not because they’ve suddenly discovered their love for you but because they are afraid of you trying again or being disgraced if you succeed.

Once you are born, you have the right to life; as much right as everyone else. The law says so too and anyone who upholds the law will do everything they can to protect your right to live. Not even your parents can take that right away from you. So if by chance you have been born into a family where you are not wanted or loved remember that you are the one that counts most in your life and they won’t love you when you’re either.

Humans aren’t easy to kill and it’s even harder to kill yourself. It looks simple in the movies, but like so many other things in the movies, it doesn’t happen that way in real life. Overdoses of pills can lead to breathing failure and leave you in a coma that you’ll never recover from. A high-speed crash can leave you paralyzed and/or in a wheelchair. Hanging yourself starves your brain of oxygen and can leave you permanently brain damaged. Slashing your wrists can damage tendons and muscles that control your hands. Even a gunshot to the head doesn’t guarantee death.

Because of how incredible modern medicine is, it’s very hard to kill yourself and it’s becoming harder and harder. A failed suicide attempt can be a double curse. Not only did you fail at what you set out to do but you could no longer have the freedom or physical ability to finish it off. The more lethal the method is that you’re using to kill yourself, the more disfigured or disabled you’ll be if you fail.

If you end up on a hospital ward or in a nursing home, you’ll be placed on “suicide watch”. You’ll have very little freedom or privacy because the people looking after you will not be able to trust you with your own life. You won’t be allowed any sharp objects, razor blades to shave with; you might not be allowed a belt to hold your trousers up. You won’t be allowed to go to the bathroom by yourself and you’ll be watched when you take any medication you might be on. Pretty much the only time you’ll not be watched is for about 3 minutes when you get dressed.

There’s nothing mysterious or romantic about committing suicide, and as the chance of you succeeding continues to get less and less, as Murphy’s law says, if it can go wrong, it will.

Leaving them behind
What happens to the people you leave behind? If you are a child (which you probably are), you will have stolen your parents’ dream to see you have a future and grow up. They will feel they have failed as parents. If you are a brother or sister, you will have made a statement that says no matter how close you were, it wasn’t close enough. If you are in a relationship, your loved one will never be able to forgive you for the way you publicly ended your relationship.

These people may become suicidal themselves; either to join you, or because of the pain they are feeling. They may feel they are going insane or losing control; their world has been turned upside down and nothing can fix it. Because of the shame they feel, they may not be able to turn to anyone to talk about their feelings. At the very least, they will feel guilt and anger. They will try to remember a time when you were happy but those thoughts will always end with how it ended for you; with death. They may begin to use drugs or alcohol and fall into their own spiral of depression.

Suicide is not a single quiet thing you do on your own. It ends up involving everyone that has ever known you. Okay, so some people may dislike you, or even hate you, but some people do like you, or even love you. By killing yourself, innocent or not, everyone around you will be a victim.

Getting help
Don’t feel as though your problems aren’t serious enough to get help. As I said earlier, everyone has different amounts of different things can tip us over the edge so if you’re feeling down, depressed, pessimistic, angry, withdrawn or suicidal, then something is wrong. Luckily, there are lots of people and lots of types of people who want to help you and will do everything they can to help you.

FAMILY DOCTORS (GPs) are a great first point of call. Although they are probably not qualified to help you with your problems, they will be able to give you a referral to see a psychiatrist or psychologist. The most important thing to remember is to tell your doctor how you’re feeling. He can’t guess what’s going on inside your head and he can’t help you unless he knows how you’re feeling to tell him.

PSYCHIATRISTS are the best trained and experienced people in the mental health profession. There are the only mental health experts that can prescribe medication. They are the ones most likely to be able to diagnose and treat you. Like psychiatrists, PSYCHOLOGISTS work in many differences such as hospitals, clinics and private practice. Psychologists hold a doctorate in psychology but may not necessarily have medical training. Psychologists often work closely with psychiatrists or doctors so if needed, they can refer you back for a medical assessment if they feel you need it.

COUNSELLORS can be found in schools, colleges, clinics, drop-in centres, hot-lines, hospitals and religious places. Whilst these people may not have any formal qualifications many can offer great advice and support when you need it most. They can become a familiar face rather than a busy doctor or psychiatrists and counsellors will usually have contacts they can refer you to if they feel you need additional support.

You can change damaging relationships, quit drink or drugs, and begin to take better care of yourself. You can do lots of things to get better, but if these things fail, then please remember that there are volunteers and professionals waiting for you, day or night - literally.
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Last edited by Outcast; 30-07-10 at 01:09 PM..
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Old 03-09-10, 10:17 AM   #2
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Default Re: Feeling Suicidal? - Please read this first

I have none of these problems at the time being but very nice article.
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Old 08-03-11, 02:14 PM   #3
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Old 08-03-11, 06:36 PM   #4
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Old 24-05-11, 01:14 PM   #5
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Default Re: Feeling Suicidal? - Please read this first

Originally Posted by katheyx View Post
You have NO right to say that! Thats just horrible.

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Old 06-06-11, 02:09 PM   #6
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Awesome post.
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Old 29-06-11, 08:56 AM   #7
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Thank you x


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