Firstly, if you are being bullied, never blame yourself or believe you are weak. Funny thing is, you're not.
Bullies are usually very insecure themselves, have been bullied before or tend to just follow the crowd so they dont get picked on too. In other words, they are still human.
It's worth telling someone
I remember when my friends cousin started mocking me for no reason on the bus and would try to sit behind me, just to annoy me. A lot of the time I ignored her, or I'd mock her too. This went on for a few weeks. Then one day she spat her chewing gum in my hair and I luckily got it out but that took it too far. I came home and burst into tears, so my mum asked me what happend, then called the head of my year where he told the girl to write me a sorry letter. Now, this girl, who was older than me, couldn't even spell the word 'sorry', she also burst into tears when getting told off. The joke was now on her and I ended up having a laugh about it :') She never bothered me again.
There's many reasons for her to be like that but clearly, she had many problems herself. The main bullies (so not including their followers) do not have much control over their own life, making fun of someone results in their friends laughing which empowers them and urges them on to do it more. Bullying others also makes them the not bullied
; they'd prefer to be horrible to others than be the one bullied. In other words, they're the ones who are weaker.
If you are being bullied, although everyone says it, they say it for a reason... because it works. Tell someone
! It's true, 'a problem shared is a problem halved'. If the bully bullies multiple people and you're afraid of being targeted, you should always be given full anonymity! I've told on some people over other reasons apart from bullying, for their own good, not just by me being a snitch and they never knew it was me.
consider stupid things like suicide or running away. Who are they to decide when your life ends? It can also affect them mentally knowing they've driven someone to suicide, especially if they didnt know they were hurting you. (like hurtful jokes) Running away is exactly what you shouldn't do... run away from your problems. You're practically letting them win. Stay competitive and be determined to win against them!
listen to their put downs, they're never right. They have no right to judge you so dont take their views into account. They're usually strangers to you, so how would they know anything about you?
respond. If they do something and they get a large emotional response, they see you weak and will only do it again. No matter how hard it is, you can do it. (Bullies have tried to start on me before but I either don't give them the response they want or stick up for myself so they dont dare to start on me again.) Confidence is the key in most cases. Walking to school with your head held high, looking strong and powerful is enough to prove that you are not someone who can be easily messed about!
If they physically hurt you, beating them up lowers you to their level. Self defence is perfectly fine though! But if someone slaps you and you feel they're not going to do it again or bother you, ignore it and go and tell a teacher that they slapped you. You can also sue them for assault so they'll be the one crying.
If they bully you online, clearly the best thing to do is to block them or report them. Get rid of anything negative in your life and the good thing about the internet is that you can delete
the people who annoy you!
If you are being bullied, there is always someone there to help! For some people, it's their job! They will always be considerate and patient with you so there is nothing to be afraid of. Telling a parent can help take the situation out of your hands if it's too much to handle alone.
If you think you might be a bully
If you think you may be a bully, dont panic. I think everyone on this planet has said a few unkind words to someone, no-ones perfect. Obviously continuous put downs and abusive language or behaviour is wrong.
You may read what I've previously written and think 'wait, I've never been bullied, I have control over my life and I don't have any problems!'. What I've written is clearly not generalisable to all bullies.
Some people can bully and not even realise it. For example, laughing at mean jokes said by someone else, about someone else. If you are in a group of people who practically follow a bully, instead of confronting them, just dont laugh at mean jokes about another. At first you may be the only one who doesnt laugh but you can be sure that there are many others who dont agree with the behaviour either, but they're too scared to go against it. Soon they'll stop laughing too and then the minority will influence the majority. Progressively, the bully will think of other ways to amuse their friends, usually in a more positive way. Your friendship with that person may also improve. The others may also see you as a role model who led the road to recovery!
If you are in that situation, there are many ways to get out of it without the need for confrontation or heated discussions!
If you need any help, message me