Hi everyone! Last month's advice was geared towards steps one can take to get themselves out of a "rut" in their life. This month's advice is, I believe, short and sweet. I've been faced with this idea many times this month, so I find it fitting to talk about it. I'm going to be talking about dealing with pain.
Pain, whether it be physical or mental, is a normal in our lives; there is no escape from some level of pain. Have you gone through a nasty break up? Can you not find a significant other? Are you dealing with illness and/or death? Whatever the problem is, we all have pain in some form. No one has a life without pain.
There are people out there who seem to "have it all", but do not be fooled. I believe half of life deals with pain and struggle. The key to living is being capable in dealing with pain. I'm not trying to be hypocritical or anything like that; I struggle with pain, but I have found this advice to be true.
So in dealing with pain, there needs to be a purpose behind it. If there's no initial purpose, the pain is amplified. When you live life with no purpose, the pain can become stronger than your will to live, right? I mean, think about it this way: If the bad outweighs your will to live, then WHY live? This, I believe, brings a major problem to many, if not most of us here. So the trick to dealing with life's shit is to make sure the pain isn't stronger than your will to live.
So let's say your will to live doesn't match up with the type of pain you deal with. Let's say this makes you sad or even depressed. Do you feel heartache from it? Well, let's then talk about how to increase your will to live to make the pain bearable...
Going back to purpose, one must correlate a reason to their pain. In doing so, our subjectivity alters our perception of..well, everything. When a human changes their way of thinking in some fashion, their reality is different. So, for example, let's say you suffer from...I don't know..a mental disorder. Each day, you go through a certain pain and it becomes difficult to live. What needs to take place is a reason for that pain. Why do you have this mental disorder? What purpose is it having in your life? What positive aspects can come from it? During pain, its natural to focus on the negative aspects, but what would happen to that pain once you focus on positive aspects? Would it diffuse the sting? Maybe so, maybe so.
So if you are feeling pain, do this exercise. Grab some paper and a pen. At the top of the page, write down your issue. Pain: My mental disorder ___. Then, split the paper in half with a line down the middle. On the left side, write down 5 things that you feel about it. Write out your emotions and how bad it hurts you. Get colorful with your words. So with this mental disorder, I feel 1) Bitter 2) suicidal 3) Gray 4) Insane 5) Unloved. The reason to write the inital pain out is to give you a better idea of how it is affecting other areas of life. Often times, a specific pain can cause one to have low self-esteem. Now, on the right side of the page, write down 6 things that could make this situation a positive. 1) My mental disorder gives me an understanding of others who deal with it 2) It has made me stronger 3) I am more experienced 4) I am now more benevolent and well-grounded 5) It gives me an opportunity to change and help cure this mental illness 6) It gives me purpose and a goal in life. By taking the positives out of the pain, the pain will lessen to an extent.
I personally believe that our minds tell us to quit long before we have to. If you don't believe me, go do an exercise such as push ups. Do as many as you can. Once your mind tells you that you can't do anymore, then do just one more. Not the greatest analogy, but it works. I believe we, as humans, are resilient and we have great powers inside of us. All it takes is a slight chance of perception, and you'll be much more willing and capable to handle that same pain. I'm not saying this will
cure the pain, but it helps one cope with it. So, find your pain, and focus on the positives.
Just so you guys know, I only put up advice that I know works from experience, so anything I say is at least worth a try. Life is hard, but we do have more in us than we think. I hope this helps someone out there, and stay tuned for next month's advice! Again, any suggestions on advice would be appreciated