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This article will advise and explain what its like to come out and admit to being gay and I hope someone might find this useful. I suppose for me it all started in year 7,when girls first started to flirt with me and started to be more then friendly and I realised that I just wasn’t interested in that way, and I just couldn’t see myself kissing a girl.
But like everyone else that age I wanted to fit in with everyone else, so I got a girlfriend and I basically got forced into going out with this girl. And when I was with this girl in the playground, I was talking to her and then my friends basically pushed me on her so that I would kiss her. I never did as I just felt so uncomfortable. So in the end I dumped her as I had no feelings for her at all and it just didn’t feel right to me, and all of the girls friends were telling me to kiss and make out etc.
Then in year 8 I was basically finished in puberty and as I got further through puberty, I realised something about myself. That I was attracted to guys not girls. And when I realised this I was very scared and I couldn’t believe that this was really happening to me and I just thought that all gay people were and were disgusting, as that what all my friends thought.
Realising that I attracted to guys change my friendship groups a lot, as now I was drifting away from my guy friends, and started to get closer to girls as I just found it a lot easier to talk to them. And i just thought of guys in a different way, and just couldn’t be good friends with them without feeling something else.
But in year 8 I still hadn’t told anyone that I was gay even though people were always asking me if I was, I would just say no and try to hide my feelings for guys at my school which was very hard but I thought it was for the best and I could keep it a secret for as long as possible.
One of the things that which really helped me to deal with my situation were forums, and I could see that there were loads of people like me who I could to talk to and get help from. And I found it easier to talk to someone like that then someone in real life as I would get shy talking about that with a friend from school. And it made me feel so much better about myself, and made me accept the situations and I finally admitted to myself that I was really gay. And I was very happy that I decided to look for help on forums as it has really helped me in the long run.
By the end of year 8 I really wanted a boyfriend which just annoyed me even more as no guys had come out at my school, so I had to just keep quite and just wait but still now no one has come out. So I hadn’t had a real relationship but one night I did have a fling with a guy from my school, and we were drunk at his house and we kissed each other, and that was my first physical contact with a guy, and it made me so happy. But nothing happened after that one night.
Since that one guy there hasn’t been anyone else that I have gotten on well enough with to ask them out. But I have gotten on well with a few people on the internet, but I think it is better to stay friends, then to take it one step further and becomes boyfriends over the internet, which obviously can be very difficult, and most the time isn’t worth the hassle.
And I do think that this has made me depressed, and I have ended up going to the doctors and getting counselling etc. And that was the point that I had to tell my parents that I was gay. It was very scary and I worked myself up about it for along time before I told them. But when I finally did tell then it was a huge weight off my shoulders. But it didn’t go well my dad was very upset and was disgusted that I was gay, and my mum was upset but she managed to get over that and can now accept me for who I am. Also I came out too my friends, and by doing that you really find out who your best friends are as they will stick by you whatever your sexuality is or however you choose to live your life.
Finally it is very hard to be gay and I don’t like being gay but it was the way im born and I will never change that. But when my family bring this topic up I find it very hard to talk about and does still really upset me. But sometimes talking about this can help you, as keeping it to yourself will make everything worse, and even though talking about it on the internet might seem weird to some people it can be a very good thing to do and can really help you. And it can be really hard to deal with being gay but if you can get through the stages of being unhappy and once you come to terms with who you are, then it will be like living a normal life as a gay person.
I hope you have enjoyed reading this and that it might help you.
Today's Toppers
Re: Coming to Terms with my Sexuality
