Have you gone through life not ever being sexually attracted to someone, anyone? Or known someone who has been through it?
Asexuality is a sexual orientation describing people who do not experience sexual attraction or lack interest in or desire for sex.
Many Asexual's experience attraction, although some experience no attraction at all, the difference is that we do not feel the need to act on that attraction in a sexual way. But we do feel a desire to get to know someone and get close to them, either keeping it platonic or it could get romantic - depending on the individual.
Asexual people who experience attraction will often be attracted to a particular gender, and will identify as:
- Hetero-romantic (or Hetero-Asexual) - attraction romantically of the opposite sex.
- Bi-romantic - attraction romantically of the both sexes.
- Homo-romantic (or Homo-Asexual) - attraction romantically of the same sex.
- Aromantic - lack of romantic attraction to anyone.
Asexual people have the same emotional needs as anyone else.
Some are happier being on their own, others are at their happiest with platonic relationships, and others have a desire to for romantic relationships and will date and even seek long-lasting partners.
Asexual people are just as likely to date Sexual people as they are other Asexuals.
People tend to think Asexuals are "messed up" or have some kind of sexual dysfunction. Or that it is a psychological problem.
None of this is true.
Asexuals simply do not feel sexual attraction.
Some FAQ's of Asexuality:
I just don't see how asexuals can be close to anyone. How can you have a relationship without sex?
Love and Sex are not the same thing. Sexual's express their love for another through sex, Asexual's do not.
Some asexuals keep close friendships, some enjoy 'traditional' (but not sexual) romantic couplings. Others form completely different, even unique, relationships.
There are no rules dictating how non-sexual love is expressed. Many asexuals consider their relationships to be outside the experience of our culture. In all sorts of media today, almost everything is about sex.
How an Asexual person gets close to someone varies upon that person. Intimacy comes in many forms.
Can asexuals have successful romantic relationships with sexuals?
Yes, they can. Though when one doesn't want to have sex and the other does, it can be vary hard to work with, so hard that many Asexual's prefer not to even try to date someone sexual. But successful mixed relationships do exist.
Some of these relationships are completely sexless; in others, the asexual partner "compromises" by having sex occasionally under certain circumstances; in others, both partners experiment with pseudosexual behavior and find things that work for both of them.
As in all relationships, communication is the key here.
If my partner isn't sexually attracted to me, does this mean that they don't really love me?
No, of course not! I've said it before, Love and Sex are not the same thing. Asexuals feel love as strongly as anyone else does; it simply isn't connected to sex for them.
However, your partner may feel confused because they do not understand how important sex is for you and why you desire it.
Again, communication is the key here. So talk to them.
My partner masturbates and/or watches pornography, but doesn't want to have sex with me. How is this possible?
Some asexuals, though not all, have sex drives, but see them as a private thing that should be taken care of alone, like going to the bathroom.
While not sexually attracted to the people in their erotic materials, asexuals with sex drives can sometimes pick up a general feeling of sexuality from such materials. Some asexuals even have sexual fantasies, although they do not wish to carry out these fantasies with real people in real life.
However, it is also possible that your partner is sexual, but wants to avoid having sex with you for some other reason. The best way to know is to talk to them openly.
What exactly is it that asexuals will and won't do? Do they enjoy kissing and cuddling? How about second base, or (fill in the name of a pseudosexual act here)?
This depends entirely on the one in question. Some asexuals dislike any physical contact at all. Some like to cuddle, but nothing more. Some enjoy any number of activities that most people see as sexual, and some are all right with having sex provided that they trust the other person enough.
The only way to tell what your partner enjoys, what they are comfortable with, and what's unacceptable for them, is to ask.
Currently, it's assumed that Asexuals make up about 1% of the population.
If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask and I'll do my best to give a clear as possible answer.