Thing haen't been the best recent;y on the old relationship front. Which is terrible because any problem thats going on has so little basis, most of the time. First off I think we both know that if anything bad ( :o ) were to happen (and I really hate typing that :( because we really are so good with eachother) it would be such a pity because ultimately I think we know that we're better off being with eachother. I just want to delete all this confusion and awkward feelings and sloppy misunderstandings and persisting slight begrudgings and just let be and for things to be like they used to. This is such a disjointed messyball of typing, although maybe that reflects my worrying mind :/ I've just been slightly angry of late with her. She doesn't seem to be very interested anymore (even though yesterday she reassured me that there's nothing to worry about) She never texts me with random happy nuggets of news about her day anymore :/ in fact she never seems to text me first and too many times I get the feeling from her texts that she's just texting me back out of asense of duty. I mean I'm not saying that I'm certainly not to blame but I she just doesn't seem to want to share with me the little things about her day :( and i miss that. I honestly can't remember the last time I got a little witty or news-ful text from her about something. I really miss it. She also never seems to chat to me first on facebook either anymore :( and I know this is really immature in a way, But there's times when we're both online, and knowing her I KNOW she knows that I'm online too, but she always waits for me to pop up. Why can't she do it for once :/ I honestly cant remember the last time that she did (although my slight deficiency of an actual functioning memory might slyly have something to do with that, hmm ) She never seems to ask me to hang out either (and I'm less crap feelign towards this because I know the thought of that slightly frightens her) I only semi said this yesterday toher but I wish we could just set everything straight, because I think we could still be so good together :/ and like I'm not seriously thinking about breaking up with her, I love her and I really like hanging with her, I just widh we could bury our childish misunderstandings, irrationalities and overreactions. We're nearly 21, ugh!! and as selfish as this seems, but breaking up would be so bad for me collegewise too, I couldn't handle having so much work on my plate coupled with feeling really sad and stuff :( But way more s because I just want us to be together. I think we understand eachother so well and we're really good together :/ Please.
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