chapter one continued
Posted 10-07-10 at 12:55 PM by cheekybit
..........No she is looking into me. Using my eyes as a doorway to the me inside.
We sit there for a minute like she is scanning me to make sure I am ok. Her thumb still tracing my cheekbone and her other hand placed on her right leg like she does when she is sat in front of the camera in an interview with the local press. “Ok sweetheart as long as you are sure.” She says and then she kisses my forehead and walks out the door.
I hear her footsteps go down the old stairs and I sit still on the bed. It feels cold for the wind in teasing out of the window from the outside world. I always wondered why the air was so warm in the day yet so cold at night. I used to think that it was because at the night the world was a cold place where everything bad happened. It is odd being sat alone. Being left with only your own thoughts and theories about things. I lie down on the bed and rest my head aimlessly on the pillow. I know it will take me a while to get back to sleep for it is already 4 in the morning.
I wonder whether the stories of pixies are real. And my eyes begin to close slightly. I blink in a dozy manner as my eyes slowly come to a close. Maybe it won’t take me long to fall asleep again. Maybe it will just be a case of closing my eyes. And letting my mind just drift away.
‘It’s 8 15 in the morning and this is summer fm radio giving you the morning call. How did you all sleep? Send us your requests for your morning music’ the alarm is making my ears hurt. It is way too loud. Did someone change the volume? They must have because I never set it to be this loud.
I get to my feet, though my body is not too happy about it. Something is making me feel absolutely exhausted and all my body seems to want to do right now is sleep and lye down. But I ignore that lazy need as I stumble my way to the wardrobe. I stare into the wardrobe but I don’t see much, just clothes. Rags that seem to be hanging meaninglessly on a rail in the middle of a large upright wooden box.
I stand there thinking, asking myself why everything seems so meaningless. I must really need to escape here soon. I am losing touch with my life right now. I need to escape this cage of the city and I need to fly free in the open country air. I have to go and see the ones I left behind in the country. And I need to see Justin, god I never thought it was possible to miss someone so much. Especial someone I have only met once. Though to be honest to myself I have to be honest to my heart and it feels like have known him all my life, I feel like he is the one I have been looking for.
I drag the large travel bag off of the top of the wardrobe and open it up. It is empty just like my feeling for the city. I grab a load of hangers off of the rail, about five at first and I chuck them straight into the bag without a second thought. I am not going for a few weeks; I am going for a few months. It feels like the right thing to do and if it feels right then it must be the right thing to do. I am always being told to follow my heart so follow it I shall. And my heart is now telling me to go to the country for a few months. To get some space to go and see the one I have been longing to see for so long.
I hear fingers tap on my door again. What does mother want now? Has she guessed that I am packing to leave again? Well the last time I went was late last spring and it is now the following year, early summer time. “Sophie?” her gentle voice called through the door. I sigh deeply. “Yes mum, come in.” I say. The door slowly opens and she pops her head around. As soon as she sees the clothes in the bag she walks into the room properly. She walks over to the spinning computer chair and sits down. She looks at me for a little while.
“Sophie honey, are you going again? Is it too much for you here?” she asks me. Her voice sounds upset and heartbroken and it made me feel guilty, but I know she is upset with me. I heard her arguing with dad last night. I heard them shout and I heard mum run upstairs. I knew she was crying when she ran up the stairs. She always cries when they argue. Dad can really be horrible to her when he wants to be. But I know they both love each other.
“Mum you know I have to go. It is too much to stay here at the moment. You and dad are always angry with each other; Lily is always listening to her music too loud. The sirens in the city are waking me up when I need to rest and I can’t stand it anymore.” She just looks at me as I speak. Her face distant and she hears each word that escapes my chapped lips. She nods. I know she understands how I feel. “Well how long are you going for love?” she asks me. I know she can tell I won’t just be going for a couple of weeks because of the amount I am taking with me. The entire content of my wardrobe was now sitting inside of the large black travel bag.
I look into her eyes.”Um a few months I think. I haven’t got school until January so I won’t miss anything. And I will call at least once a week.” I say in a bit of a rush. I don’t know what else to say so I just find out some clothes from the bag to wear on the journey. I slip on a pair of faded jeans and a vest. Then I slip on some socks and look under the bed for all of my shoes. I pick out a pair of red converse shoes and slip them onto my feet. They fit snuggle onto my feet. They always have. “Ok well I guess I have to go and leave you to it or I will be late for work.” She says to me. She stands up and I watch her walk towards me and then she kisses me on the forehead. “Goodbye sweetheart. I’ll see you when you get back. The key to the house is on the third bunch and you know where the money is when you get there.” She walks out of my room without another word. I can tell she is upset that I am going but happy I am going to do something for myself.
We sit there for a minute like she is scanning me to make sure I am ok. Her thumb still tracing my cheekbone and her other hand placed on her right leg like she does when she is sat in front of the camera in an interview with the local press. “Ok sweetheart as long as you are sure.” She says and then she kisses my forehead and walks out the door.
I hear her footsteps go down the old stairs and I sit still on the bed. It feels cold for the wind in teasing out of the window from the outside world. I always wondered why the air was so warm in the day yet so cold at night. I used to think that it was because at the night the world was a cold place where everything bad happened. It is odd being sat alone. Being left with only your own thoughts and theories about things. I lie down on the bed and rest my head aimlessly on the pillow. I know it will take me a while to get back to sleep for it is already 4 in the morning.
I wonder whether the stories of pixies are real. And my eyes begin to close slightly. I blink in a dozy manner as my eyes slowly come to a close. Maybe it won’t take me long to fall asleep again. Maybe it will just be a case of closing my eyes. And letting my mind just drift away.
‘It’s 8 15 in the morning and this is summer fm radio giving you the morning call. How did you all sleep? Send us your requests for your morning music’ the alarm is making my ears hurt. It is way too loud. Did someone change the volume? They must have because I never set it to be this loud.
I get to my feet, though my body is not too happy about it. Something is making me feel absolutely exhausted and all my body seems to want to do right now is sleep and lye down. But I ignore that lazy need as I stumble my way to the wardrobe. I stare into the wardrobe but I don’t see much, just clothes. Rags that seem to be hanging meaninglessly on a rail in the middle of a large upright wooden box.
I stand there thinking, asking myself why everything seems so meaningless. I must really need to escape here soon. I am losing touch with my life right now. I need to escape this cage of the city and I need to fly free in the open country air. I have to go and see the ones I left behind in the country. And I need to see Justin, god I never thought it was possible to miss someone so much. Especial someone I have only met once. Though to be honest to myself I have to be honest to my heart and it feels like have known him all my life, I feel like he is the one I have been looking for.
I drag the large travel bag off of the top of the wardrobe and open it up. It is empty just like my feeling for the city. I grab a load of hangers off of the rail, about five at first and I chuck them straight into the bag without a second thought. I am not going for a few weeks; I am going for a few months. It feels like the right thing to do and if it feels right then it must be the right thing to do. I am always being told to follow my heart so follow it I shall. And my heart is now telling me to go to the country for a few months. To get some space to go and see the one I have been longing to see for so long.
I hear fingers tap on my door again. What does mother want now? Has she guessed that I am packing to leave again? Well the last time I went was late last spring and it is now the following year, early summer time. “Sophie?” her gentle voice called through the door. I sigh deeply. “Yes mum, come in.” I say. The door slowly opens and she pops her head around. As soon as she sees the clothes in the bag she walks into the room properly. She walks over to the spinning computer chair and sits down. She looks at me for a little while.
“Sophie honey, are you going again? Is it too much for you here?” she asks me. Her voice sounds upset and heartbroken and it made me feel guilty, but I know she is upset with me. I heard her arguing with dad last night. I heard them shout and I heard mum run upstairs. I knew she was crying when she ran up the stairs. She always cries when they argue. Dad can really be horrible to her when he wants to be. But I know they both love each other.
“Mum you know I have to go. It is too much to stay here at the moment. You and dad are always angry with each other; Lily is always listening to her music too loud. The sirens in the city are waking me up when I need to rest and I can’t stand it anymore.” She just looks at me as I speak. Her face distant and she hears each word that escapes my chapped lips. She nods. I know she understands how I feel. “Well how long are you going for love?” she asks me. I know she can tell I won’t just be going for a couple of weeks because of the amount I am taking with me. The entire content of my wardrobe was now sitting inside of the large black travel bag.
I look into her eyes.”Um a few months I think. I haven’t got school until January so I won’t miss anything. And I will call at least once a week.” I say in a bit of a rush. I don’t know what else to say so I just find out some clothes from the bag to wear on the journey. I slip on a pair of faded jeans and a vest. Then I slip on some socks and look under the bed for all of my shoes. I pick out a pair of red converse shoes and slip them onto my feet. They fit snuggle onto my feet. They always have. “Ok well I guess I have to go and leave you to it or I will be late for work.” She says to me. She stands up and I watch her walk towards me and then she kisses me on the forehead. “Goodbye sweetheart. I’ll see you when you get back. The key to the house is on the third bunch and you know where the money is when you get there.” She walks out of my room without another word. I can tell she is upset that I am going but happy I am going to do something for myself.
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