Hi, Im new

Im not quite sure how this works, or if im even sure what im doing on here but, here goes!!

Im, Rae** I stumbled upon this site whilst I was browsing online at stuff..

I dont know what to say, Im the type of girl that beilives that silence is best. I dont need tot alk about ym problems... but I want to..
Im weird..

I am, 18 years old.. Im 19 in two months...
I love going out wiht my friends, I enjoy fashion and shopping clothes, shoes bags... but i cant do any of that I dont like to go out, because I dont have any clothes that fit, I perfer to stay at home because, sometimes i'll get the courage to go out and i'll put on a nice skirt and tope or leggings, etc..
But then i'll catch site of myself in a shop window and i'll come crashing back down to the real world.. Im fat, actually im obese.. yep. I dont know what size clothes I am.. the clothes I have in my room are size 12-14 but they dont fit..
I miss life. I miss going out and not feeling like i just want to run home and hide. Id rather walk around in tracksuite bottoms and a baggy top all day. I love dressing up and looking pretty, but its not real. Im not beautiful like other girls.. I have a terrible figure and Im not pretty.. what life do i have as a teenager right.. hmmm.
No boys r intrested in me, I am. unhappy and...
I would like to be happy.. maybe one day just a little bit..

But yeah.. lol wow... this is weird, well i guess thats what you do on here right, you come on and you vent even if nobody reads it, its getting it out of your head and on to paper.. ((well into words outside your mind))
I just.. I just.. I dont know thats it from me then.. thats my moan.. but then I guess I sound like most teenage girls out there but im different, other girls stupid girls (sorry if i insult) size 8-12 talk about being ugly and fat. I hate slim girls that complain about fat becaue if you knew what fat really was you'd be smiling... I live with it everyday... With the wobbly bits and the disguting monster i face in the mirror all the time. I hate the girl that looks back at me I would like her dead.. Id lover her dead actually.. but I couldnt die, I would have the guts pfft..
Sooo.. umm yh Im getting a bit over excited so i'll be off...

Bye..x