Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

I feel like the whole world is on my shoulders. I can't enjoy the things i usually would.
I feel like a burden to my mother. She works so hard to bring us food and shelter, and i feel like everytime she comes back from work tired and exhausted that i am the cause of her suffering. That I'm a burden, that i'm not pulling my weight, that i'm of no use to anyone. I feel like trash today. My eyes sting from crying and i can barely see the keyboard properly.
I see everything from a cynical point of view, music, anime, video games, life.
Everything seems to turn into a shade of gray.

I wish my mom had more time to just be there with me and my sisters. I wish everyone wasn't so twisted. I wish people thought about the effect their actions might of had on other people. I wish i'd finished my math project earlier, as of now i have a chance of being kicked of the basketball team. I wish for everything to be better than what it is.

God, i hope i can actually fall asleep tonight, i still got school tomorrow...

I feel like a burden to my mother, to my b-ball team, to my sisters and to the world.
I can't help but feel like it's true right now.

I don't know, am I?
At this point, this forum is the only way i have to convey the feelings i have right now.
Anyways, I'm logging off now, tomorrow before i drag myself to school, i'll check out the things people have to say about my current feelings and situation, then i'll go on from there.

Thanks in advance guys,
Michael

I'm sorry but at least you don't have a dad that screams itto you when ever his mad at you. I think you should help out around the house an you will fill like less of a burden.

I'm kinda in a weird mood tonight so I'm not the best for advice but Id be more then happy to add you and we can talk one on one in the IM and maybe help? I know what it's like to feel like a burden but you really aren't to your mum. I don't have kids yet but even my maternal instincts and growing up feeling like a burden to my family and depression and all that I completely understand, However, I know that to not be true. My parents lost a child at 16. to a 55 year old man.. It ruined them in ways you could not even imagine, and she's still alive. If your mother was to lose you she'd lose her world, her life, everything. So please just hang in there. Times are tough but I promise you your mother loves you. And she shows that through how hard she works for you. You have tot ry and see it that way. I don't have kids like I said but my instincts are strong and I know that even with times tough id adore and love my children so incredibly much. Even with my sister's children I'm so close to them and love them so much I have no idea what id do if i lost them.. So just hang in there. And feel free to talk to me.

Little white flowers will never awaken you, not when the cold depths have all but overtaken you.

Dearest, The days are all so long,
and in the shadows I spend them all.
My heart and I long for slumber.
Slumber I'm caressing you, I bless your touch, I lust for you.
Slumber you are not a dream, Not as much as you seem.
- Joao <3

You don't have to feel like a burden.
Do more constructive things in your free time. Help around the house, do activities that benefit you, maybeven get a job. I don't know.
But it isn't like people are suffering for you. it's called working. I don't feel like crying when my 53-year-old father with parkinsons comes home after 8 hours of work, all broken. So why should you feel bad to your mom?

Atleast you have a father...

My mom won't let me get a job cause she thinks it'll take away from my studies.
As for why i feel like my mom is suffering for me, it's complicated, really complicated.
I do help around the house.
I play basketball, i think that's an activity that benefits me.
And other than studying, helping around the house and playing basketball, what more constructive things can I do?

Maybe you should have a talk with your mother, and ask her what you can do to help? Maybe you should talk to your counselor, friends, anyone who's close to you, u could ask for advice or just tell them how you feel. Even your siblings, they know what's going on, so maybe they are the best one's to ask. And right now, many people can empathize with u becuase lots of people don't even have a job when they have family to support. My father is just scrapping by to pay the bills and get money in with whatever he can. I just recently had a birthday yesterday (january 16) and I didn't even get a real present, at least one that is in working order. Anyway, just try and talk it out, see what happens. Keeping everything bottled up inside will eat you away from the inside out, unless there is another way you think you can convey your feelings.

Well, I told you guys, that should count for something right? I honestly talked to my mom before and she told me that her always being home late, always being tired, always complaining about her back hurting and constantly having to sleep in the car (its complicated) has nothing to do with me and that i should focus on my studies and then went on about the 'don't grow up too fast' bs i've heard way to often. She told me to try to enjoy life and not be so depressing to everyone else. The thing is.

I feel a pain in my chest when I see her walk through that door. I feel like she's gonna walk home one day and she won't have nothin left in the tank. That she's killing herself by working so much. It's hard to explain why, but that's how it feels.

And no, i haven't talked to anyone in my family other than my mom about it. My sisters aren't really mature to enough to hear me out and get where i'm comin from, and even if they are, i doubt that i would ever confide in them (don't ask me why, it's just the way it is). I haven't talked to a counseller, i don't like the idea of sitting down and talking to someone i barely know about problems that don't consern them, and i heard that they keep records of what you talk about and it shows up in your records or something.
Anyhow, should i just leave things as they are and hope for the best?
Or should send her to hell and get a job anyways?

Well, do you have any money at all? Maybe you could take your mom out to dinner sometime just you two.

Little white flowers will never awaken you, not when the cold depths have all but overtaken you.

Dearest, The days are all so long,
and in the shadows I spend them all.
My heart and I long for slumber.
Slumber I'm caressing you, I bless your touch, I lust for you.
Slumber you are not a dream, Not as much as you seem.
- Joao <3

Hmm..
Sounds like a plan. Thank you