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Depression, Self Harm & Suicide AdviceThose suffering from teen depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts can seek help from our members. You're not alone.
I've talked to a lot of people who self harm, or who have before. I'm just curious as to:
Why? Why do you do it? Why does it seem to be addictive? If it is addictive, then how? What does it do that makes anything any better?
I can't fathom it, in order to do my job better on here, I need to understand. It's easy for me to say "It's destructive and psychologically dangerous, talk to a family member, teacher, etc" but that isn't me. I don't want to give general nothings, that mean nothing to someone that needs genuine caring attention.
So enlighten me
Note: This isn't meant to make fun of or ridicule those who self harm in any way. This isn't for you to find justification, or for me to take a rude or nasty stab at you by rudely questioning you. I can see how you'd get that message out of this thread, but that isn't what i'm asking. My questions are genuine, and I have no bad intention, i promise.
It's a way of venting anger from some; it's a way of attention for others and it's a way of blaming yourself for some people. Depending on the person in question harming themselves; there's multiple ways to help them.
If it's to vent anger; suggest better ways.
If it's via depression or blaming themselves; cheer them up and let them know whatever going on is not there.
If it's for attention...well. Not much to do; they're desperate.
_______________________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by TehKewcumber
JACK BABY! My best friend on here and the only one I've really spoke to in detail, you seem really nice (top troll)
Why? Why do you do it?
I do it because it helps me have an outlet.. when I feel like I have noone to talk to and I'm drowning in pain, cutting seems to help. I don't know exactly what it is about it but because I'm addicted for me it's hard to stop. It's like coming off drugs or smoking and becoming cold turkey. It helps release my anger and pain that I'm holding inside.
Why does it seem to be addictive? If it is addictive, then how?
The adrenaline rush. The rush is for me just an addictive feeling, I feel like when I cut the rush just runs through my body and I instantly feel better.
What does it do that makes anything any better?
It sticks around for the rest of the night (I only cut at night) and I feel calmer.. like I've let everything out and my head feels lighter and less congested. But it only helps for that one night and the next day I'm back to normal.
Need any 1-1 help? PM me and I'll get back to you ASAP.
R.I.P Shiloh Moore, I love you and miss you.<3
I will never be able to explain to anyone how much
In my experience, there are a multitude of reasons that people find it addictive and attempt it in the first place. Like my reasons when I did it (PM me if you want to know why I did it) were completely different than anybody else that I've ever talked to. And the people that I did talk to tended to have pretty different reasons from one another. It seems to me that the common thread (even if it's a very fine thread) happens to be that there are some benefits to doing so. The majority of these benefits seem to be perceived and not real benefits. But even in the case of having real benefits, the benefits tend to be exaggerated by the agent. So it's always bad to self harm but when things aren't going right self harm can yield a perceived benefit that probably isn't real, however, it seems more desirable than the "real" experiences that are getting them down. However, that's just more assumptions. The real problem is that there isn't one reason people cut. There are a multitude of reasons.
Cause I'm lazy to re-write ill quote some of my earlier explanations;
Quote:
Actually, it isn't normally like that. A lot of people cut when they're depressed because when you're depressed it feels like you have no control over life or anything, and along with the feeling of being depressed that bit of control where you don't feel like your in a tornado helps so incredibly much. Also, Weird as it sounds when you're in depression/depressed being in pain actually helps you. it's like an outlet. Depression a lot of the time makes you feel SO trapped and out of control and everything, and then when you're in pain it's kinda like an outlet and it lets you stop thinking about your life and depression and the emotional pain. I guess what I'm trying to say is when you cut, you're doing physical pain, and for a change that helps ease the emotional pain. I don't cut and i don't encourage, id try to stop someone from cutting because that way of outletting can because very addictive even when you aren't in depression, but i do understand why people do it.
Basically unless you're in the position and know what it feels like you won't understand. But basically, best way to think of it is thinking of like voices in your head driving you crazy, or crying and emotional pain and low self esteem, etc. Like little hell halo and angel halo on your shoulders. Like when they dont' shut up and if you cut, your making it seem real and releasing it, at times you crave to cut just because it feels like it's the ONLY way to make it STOP, to let it out, to make the non visible pain seem real. and the for addict it's mind over matter where after time you've realized it helped a little, and then you keep doing it over and over cause in your mind it's the only thing that stops it
not sure if that made sense but im light headed atm
Little white flowers will never awaken you, not when the cold depths have all but overtaken you.
Dearest, The days are all so long,
and in the shadows I spend them all.
My heart and I long for slumber.
Slumber I'm caressing you, I bless your touch, I lust for you.
Slumber you are not a dream, Not as much as you seem.
- Joao <3
Most people, sadly, do it because it is a fashion. They do it, and they convince themselves they have some psychological illness or deep rooted issues, when the reality of the situation is that they are simply social outcasts finding solace in a marketed idea of emotional distress.
For everyone else, though:
I used to do it because I would often feel like I was losing contact with reality. Have you ever looked in a mirror and your head vibrates, though your sure it isn't vibrating? Have you ever felt like your mind is in the back of your head and you're just watching your life play out in front of you? Cutting is a way of firmly grounding yourself in existence, albeit temporarily.
I did it because it made me feel more relaxed and because I felt like by doing it no one else could hurt me. I've stopped and started and stopped and started, truth is I know I'll start self-harming again and I really don't care. People drink, people smoke, people get involved in dangerous sports and some just do stupid things. Well, cutting myself was my thing and I'll do it again when I want that buzz. NGL, it feels great for me. Don't want to stop, don't need to stop, and I don't have to stop, so I won't stop.
I do it because everyone is always putting so much pressure on me and blaming me for everything that ever happens to the point where i believe them and i believe everything is my fault... i hate myself and i want to punish myself
When I hate myself so much that I just need to hurt myself.
I don't cut; I strangle (not to death, of course) myself with a belt or bump my head against the wall.
I feel like if I was two different people and one needs to punish the other.
Today's Toppers
Why Self Harm?
My best friend on here and the only one I've really spoke to in detail, you seem really nice (top troll)
Chewbie
