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Depression, Self Harm & Suicide AdviceThose suffering from teen depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts can seek help from our members. You're not alone.
Ever since I was 6, I've felt really isolated from everyone else. Everyone around me was so happy and had so many wonderful things to offer and I was just present. When I was 8, I jumped out of a second story window, thinking it would kill me (I just broke my arm) because I felt like I was alone. Then I realized I couldn't die because my family, although they never really cared about me (and hurt me sometimes), would get some pretty bad publicity. In 5th grade, I started hurting myself in many different ways because I wasn't good enough for anyone.
To this day, I still cut, burn, and am an undiagnosed bulimic. No one really knew about what was going on until this year, my freshman year of high school. The dean at my school told me if I don't "get better", he might dismiss me from the school because of the effect I would have on the student body. Even though I've had teachers reach out to me, I can't trust them with anything because they will talk to my school. I did see one therapist but she said some really obnoxious things to me so I stopped going. I have no one to talk to. I can't get myself to stop self harming. No one in my family cares about me. I don't understand the point of living if I'm just going to feel like this all the time. Any advice on what I should do?
Go and find someone you can talk to. Didn't like the therapist? Find another? Is there a school nurse you can talk to? A school nurse should have confidentiality obligations. As long as she has no reason to think you'll attempt suicide again, which you shouldn't, she won't tell anyone
I've said time and time again, don't commit suicide. You'll be glad you didn't when you're older and in control of your own life.
you just got to find someone that you can trust and open up to.
out of what you said it seems like people really do care about you and want to help, but you didn't trust them and pushed them away. so you really got to try to start trusting people
and i don't think your teachers will talk to you school...and even if they do, why would it matter? they would only do it in an effort to try to get you the help you need.
and theres nothing wrong with meeting an annoying therapist, you just gotta keep on searching until you find one that mixes well with you. its okay if you didn't like one therapist, it happens to everyone. i've met therapists or psychiatrists who did just not sit well with me, and i just had to find someone who i trusted.
you sound a lot like me, in all honesty, if you ever need someone to talk to, just message me.
I think what your dean of students did was unacceptable and unprofessional. That being said, I think it is very important for you to find someone to talk to. Lauren is right- a counselor or nurse usually can be sworn to confidentiality unless there is a risk of you killing yourself again.
The cool thing is though, that this all gets better. High school is a place for you to discover yourself. I suggest joining some form of social group, be it a club or a team, and find friends. They'll help you. Self isolation is the devil- I am a victim of it myself. This forum saved me from myself.
Keep your head up. It sucks, yeah. But you'll get through it. Find something that keeps you busy. If you ever need to chat, shoot me a message.
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”- Nelson Mandela
I would strongly consider seeing another therapist!
I know that the one that you saw was obnoxious, but there are thousands, millions of therapists out there who aren't like that, that you could talk to.
It really sounds like you just need someone who will be able to help you, and listen to you at the same time. You're welcome to come here and talk if you need it, but we can't really do much to help you other than offer some advice here and there.
Have you ever spoken to a Mental Health Crisis line? Or a Suicide Crisis line? They can offer you some good advice about where to go to get help to stop self harming and to find a new therapist/counselor.
*Oh, and btw, I DO throw rage fits.
If I get overly aggressive at you, just ignore me.
Overall, if you need help, please feel free to ask me for it.
Hello, Dora, I'm sorry that you're dealing with these feelings of loneliness and depression and understand that it's not easy for you.
As others have said, don't let your experience with that one therapist ruin your perception of them all. And I know that what your dean said may have made you feel like you weren't worth as much as the other students, or at the very least didn't help your self worth, but as kryptonite said, that was both unprofessional and irresponsible as well as inappropriate. You're worth more than the reputation of any school body.
You have to remind yourself daily that you're worth as much as anybody, that you deserve to feel happy, and you deserve help.
I know you may not trust your parents, but have you ever tried approaching them in regards to your feelings of depression and your self harm? Despite how you think they may feel, it could be another opportunity to seek help.
Approach the situation from as many angles as you can, hot lines, teacher/friends that will listen, even google can quickly provide you with ideas on coping with depression. Try turning your room into a temporary sanctuary of sorts. Fill it with mementos of pleasant memories or other things that make you happy. And when you've hit a rough patch, you retreat to your room and look about and remember better times and distract yourself. Wait at least 15 minutes before you even consider cutting. In that time you think about other things, and recognize cutting as a destructive urge that won't make things any better.
I also want you to know that these forums and the people in it are always here to listen and be here for you. :3
Dora, You can always talk to me on facebook (Yeah you have me, Message me here and I'll tell you) - But my phone broke, so I'm temporarily only available when dad's not home :3
I'm a strong advocate of the "Let's take a step back and realize what is really going on here." approach.
This bulimia, cutting, suicidal attempts and atrocious trust issues can only be resolved by one person:
You.
And no one else.
Others cannot help people who cannot help themselves, so, please, help yourself.
We can't help you, for all we know, your just an empty avatar and a bunch of words to us. Sure, we can chill, talk about your issues, chat till you lose feeling in your fingers, but genuine help has to come from you.
Get help, use a suicide help line if it gets tough, talk to someone.
It hurts to hear this. But no, you gotta help yourself, there is nothing else you can do at this point:
You may not know this, but right now, your are a legitimate threat to yourself.
Please, I beg you, get some real help, going to us online may help, but it won't heal.
Ya, this is a long post, sorry bout that, but I hope you get the point; bottom line:
Get some serious help, it's really for your own good.
_______________________________
"Life is a kind of game; like chess, a player is often found to be his own worst enemy. The game of chess is decided by who makes the wrong moves at the wrong time. In real life, you owe it to yourself to never make that fatal move of your own volition."
-Me.
Well try a therapist or i'm sure anyone on this forum would be willing to give you a ear to listen (: i know i would be willing to listen and try to help you out. (: