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I 've been wondering for over a year now whether I actually have clinical depression or if it's all just my mind messing with me. I mean it feels real and my psycho-therapist seems to think it's worth me continuing with weekly appointments but I've never been to the doctor about it and my parents keep insisting that I'm fine. I've dropped out of my piano lessons, guitar lessons and the school rugby team through lack of motivation, I get enough sleep yet struggle to maintain consciousness let alone concentration in lessons and I haven't been out with freinds for almost a year now. Have I wished this into being? Am I just lazy as my parents think? Is it just a coincidence that my uncle was manically depressed and now I am too (although not manically)?
The only way you'll find out for sure what is happening to you is to go to a doctor or a trained mental professional. Psycho-therapy may not be helping you at all; branch out and seek other alternatives. You need to research this thouroughly before you make any assumptions, because doing so will stress you out, like it is now.
It's important to tolerate the uncertainty until things appear more certain. One of the ways to do that is to focus on what you already know, what you're aware (or certain) of: You're unhappy, and you;re currently in therapy to address that..regardless of what you call it.
Stick with the treatment and keep talking with your therapist, and with time, things will be clearer. With that clarity often comes relief, so just be patient, and work the process.
I would suggest going to a doctor about it and see what he says. It might clear up a bit of the uncertainty that you have. Other than that don't worry too much about it. More stress will only make things worse.
You say that you haven't been out with friends as long as you've been feeling shitty. I'm thinking that you're lack of motivation has to do with you being in a sort of slump. You need to get out more. It will really help. You need to find something that you can stick with even if you feel like things like piano and guitar aren't fun anymore. If there's a day that you feel good, make sure you use it, and keep battling depression. It may or may not be clinical, but where you are a little lost, do things to feel better! Your depression being clinical doesn't change the fact that you can take care of yourself to improve your symptoms.
If something else is causing you to feel low, then bring it up, and maybe talk it over with your therapist. Take life one issue at a time. Also, let your therapist know exactly what you're thinking. They can be your best friend and your doctor.
In the recent months or year when this has occurred do you have any like more so mental problems? Low self esteem, self hate, sadness, self harm, anger, fear? etc. things that have come with the lack or motivation? Do you find yourself trapped in your own head? thoughts consuming you? Out of body/world feelings? often headaches? It's harder to tell with just physical things, depression is a lot more so mental.
You may have noticed, I'm not all there myself. -Cheshire Cat