14-10-11, 07:17 PM
Join Date: Oct 2011
what to do ?
not sure if is right to ask but need some advice and find this forum i find when search on google
there my story is long but will make it try make it short.
when i was 8 years old i was taking away from my family to an foster family.
since then was abuse from years of 8 to 16 years old
my life was good until i got into foster family and feal social services threat me wroung.
.when i told her i was threat badly they did not whant to belive me say my mom told me to say so coz her whant me home not me an did have it good
so well things went on and i start to try belive what he did to me was right, and was my own fault that he told me beckuse i ugley and alot of other things.
feel it changed my personality, everyday was like on nightmare.
and that i could not trust any oen as no one seasm whanted to listen to me.
after 8 years i couldn't take it anymore i try to take suicide, unfortunately they find me was close to death was paralysed half bodey around 6 months and was in roll chair.
I Got little better, was an nerv injure i have got not sure what it is called in english, now i can walk, but not to long or wery fast, reduced sensory and balance as well,
and now live at an own apartment and get money from the gourvment as disability ability to work/school after what has happed to me.
i get enough so have no economic problems.
. the thing are since i got from there now go some years. i try be postive on life and did practise alot to get better
problem i have is my life feel so empty no mather how hard i try worst are the memories. it hurt badley even it was so manay years ago.
started drink alot now i go in suicidal thoughts again i dont now i try be postive but it hurt so bad what happed in the past
alredy try go to psychiatrist and things like that but do not work cant stop think what happed to me in 8 years,
some things he made was awful and evn frinds of his.
any one can give tell what to do how to move on ?
take suicide seems so easy, but i really try want think i deserve live to
am now 21, 5 year since i got away from the hell but the past still catch up on me