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Depression, Self Harm, and Suicide Those suffering from depression, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts can seek help in this forum.

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  • 1 Post By Wonderwoman19

Old 24-02-18, 12:30 AM   #1
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Default ... I don't know what to call this

I know that no one really comes here anymore...
And all the people I cared about who used to come here don't come here anymore either....

So I might just be talking to no one. But, I don't really care at this point. I've already burned my bridges on all of the mental health chats I used to use, so I mean, I will post it here and hope that someone sees it and can say something helpful?

It's 1:23am right now... I am diagnosed with schizophrenia and the voices are being ruthless. In case you're not aware, I hear voices and they torment me almost all of the time. I'm on two antipsychotics and they were helping for a while, but now they are failing me... I've tried so many antipsychotics and they always fail me.

Anyway, I'm feeling especially sad right now. The voices want me to kill myself and I kind of want to listen to them. It doesn't feel like things will get better... It doesn't feel like I will ever find a medication that gets rid of the voices. I'm taking TWO antipsychotics and they are STILL there. It feels hopeless at this point.

I am in the process of moving, so I don't have a therapist anymore... And the therapist I used to see, I've seen since I was 16 years old, so I trusted her with my life. Now, I will have to find a new therapist, who I will not trust as much. I don't want to deal with this. I'd rather be dead.

I probably won't act on it, if I were feeling that bad I would call 911, but I am feeling pretty shit right now.

I just wish someone could tell me that things will get better and that I won't have to hear voices for the rest of my life, and that I can live a normal life...

But I don't think any of that is true....

I'm old. Damn.

Well theres not much else to say
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Old 24-02-18, 05:39 AM   #2
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Default Re: ... I don't know what to call this

I can't tell you things will get better, because at the end of the day, I don't know.

But what I do know is, you have the power to change how you feel about life. I am not too clued up on schizophrenia, but from what I have heard, social interaction can help ease the symptoms. Don't force yourself to do anything you don't want to do, but if you have a hobby, e.g. collecting Pokemon cards, see if there is a group that does something like that in your local area. Make some new friends, and hopefully have someone who you can talk to about everything.

Suffering alone is definitely not going to help. It may take some time to get to trust your new therapist, but as long as you don't try and put up barriers, surely you will come to the same level as trust as your old one.

Hang in there Alex!

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Old 25-02-18, 01:06 AM   #3
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Default Re: ... I don't know what to call this

I think there's hardly a user empathetic enough to understand how you experience your inner self, yourself and the world around it.

And certainly no user will ever understand why everything happens with and in you. Not if he or she expierenced similar things what you described above.

Therefore, I think that addressing the causes isn't that important. It is more important to understand, that it makes probably much more lonely, if you can't talk to anyone else about it who kinda can understand your probs.

Jordan has certainly it recognized correctly. Getting used to a new thereapist takes time. Regular contact with family and friends certainly may help somehow. At least it seems logical to me.

Maybe you should also find people who have gone through similar things and who can be therefore help a bit better than normal close folks, even if they have not got rid of their voices. But they may have learned to deal with their ghosts.

I know, usually we don't mention this teen other forum with the "Virtual" in the name on Teen Forumz, you probably know it anyway.

I once read, it's just been created for teenagers and young adults with problems, including your probs.

Even if nowadays everything seems just to be about the recurring "problems" of teenage adolescents in puberty, the sub-forum "The Psychiatric Ward" is still relatively active. I'm not very familiar with it, I rarely read it, but it may be worth trying to find something to inspire you.
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Old 01-03-18, 04:44 PM   #4
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Default Re: ... I don't know what to call this

Hey Alexis!

I was going to drop you a skype message but I have been really busy and my laptop doesn't have skype connected! So when I saw this last night I was worried for you however have not had the time to reply.

@Jordan... you are right to some extent on social interaction can ease some of the symptoms - however it can also heighten some of the symptoms. Take things slowly... yes you can change your thoughts and feelings! Although this can take an extremely long time and cannot be done alone.
Since I know you quite well... I know how much you have struggled in life! So this could take an even longer time! So do not feel... just because you are suffering for a prolonged period of time people are not here to help.
I am always available to talk! Skype me anytime! I may not reply instantly.

Moving away can also heighten symptoms of any kind of mental health condition as change can be a significant trigger for anyone with mental health conditions such as schizophrenia.

Trusting new therapists is hard - again it is all down to dealing with change and the anxiety gets built up. Try the new therapist if the new one doesn't work ask for a different one until you find the right one as I have had several therapists in the past and it can be really hard and such a difficult process to build trust with someone new.

Ultimately living a normal life may never be the case - but living a better more relaxed life can be the case! Treatment and surrounding yourself with wholesome people can make changes! Normal is not a great word and I try not to use normal! As what is normal? Society makes norms!

Alexis! I am here for you! If you ever need me!

All the best

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