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  Sister in law!

This is a discussion on Sister in law! within the Family and Friends forums, part of the Help and Advice Forums category; Okay, Ive GOT to get some opinions on this. So my brother has been married to his wife, Nikki, for ...



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Old 30-07-10, 08:40 AM Replies: 4 Views: 113   #1

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Icon15 Sister in law!

Okay, Ive GOT to get some opinions on this.
So my brother has been married to his wife, Nikki, for 2 years now.
We've all had our rough pathes.
But She is a fighter...
Yells all the time, whether it be at their dogs
or with my Brother..
all around my 1yr old nephew mind you...

Well lately, She has been making my brother feel like crap for not being wonder husband,
Becuase of her they live in a house they can't afford
She quite working 2 months into her pregnancy
and like I said.. Max is now 1
and my brother works for a union, and is currently unemployed
However, instead of being supportive, Nikki and HER FAMILY have been all over my brother
making him feel like shit.
I love my brother more than life itself, so I get kind of defensive about this..
understand able right?
Well somehow She gets all pissy at me. I have no idea why. I havent dont squat at all to her..

so I post a status on facebook saying this:
‎"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." John 13:34. I might not like what everyone in my life does, but that doesn't mean I love them any less.

then the following conversation happened

Nikki Barnett
or you could wait to hear the full story before you pass judgement on someone. and you certainly shouldn't judge someone unless you've walked a mile in their shoes

Mishele Shiree Barnett
Nikki I'm not going to fight with you. Especially over facebook. I love you. I love my brother. I love Max. End of story. If you want to have a discussion, then I sugest it at a better time, and a better venue. This is Not worth an other messy battle for no good reason.

Nikki Barnett
i wasn't arguing. i was responding to your status. i don't need this anyway.

Mishele Shiree Barnett
I never mentioned arguing If you didn't need this, then maybe you shouldn't have commented, and just understood the correct meaning of the status, Which is unconditional love.

Oh! and then she deleted me from facebook!

Okay, so Im thinking drama queen??
Shes 30 mind you...

what do you guys think???




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Old 30-07-10, 08:52 AM   #2
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Default Re: Sister in law!

I think she needs a big kick up the pants and her family needs to lay off your brother a little bit.
I think that she needs to start thinking about going back into work now that the kid is 1 because from what you said, they are struggling with money.
I think your brother needs to have a look into more stable work so that he can support his family alongside his wife.
I think that if you can, you should try and keep away from your sister in law and give her some space. She's under a lot of stress and I think she's taking it out on you because you and your brother because you're both close to her and she knows you'll still love her after.








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Old 30-07-10, 08:57 AM   #3

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Default Re: Sister in law!

I like what you think.




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Old 30-07-10, 12:40 PM   #4
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Default Re: Sister in law!

Josh is right (as usual!) that she needs a serious attitude adjustment here. But, the real issue is who should be providing that.

Not you.

It's your brother's responsibility to work all this out with Nikki, he needs to talk with her and her family about whatever might be going on that's distressing him and what he wants/needs them to do. You can listen to your bro, you can give your perspective, you can offer support, recommendations, opinions, etc. but since it only involves you peripherally, you should stay out of it. As you see, she doesn't really understand or appreciate what you offer here, it only adds problems, which likely get played out with your bro. More agita he doesn't need....

It's hard maintaining good boundaries in the face of such frankly obnoxious behavior. You could try making some clear observations to her about what you see (I'd steer clear of personal opinion, attack, or biblical references), and leave it at that. And don;t do this on FB, this is a face to face chat! But, know when to stop, and if you find it hard to tolerate what you're forced to observe, then let them both know you need to disengage. And maybe that would give them the reason to look at this a bit more closely, more so if everyone else on your side of the family responds the same.




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Old 05-08-10, 11:04 AM   #5

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Default Re: Sister in law!

she sounds dreadful! hope things pick up for your brother x















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