Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Back in December, of 2007, on the 23rd my uncle sexually assaulted me.

He and I used to have a really close relationship, I could talk to him about anything and everything, and I felt comfortable doing so. We would always joke around with each other, and I was at my Aunt & Uncles house just about every weekend.

Now that I think about it though, maybe the conversations, and questions he used to ask me werent so innocent? He used to ask me what me and my "boyfriends" would do, and stuff like that. And he would sometimes comment about how I look, and everytime before I would leave he would give me a hug, but maybe it wasnt innocent like I had though for him?

Anyway, after it happened, he came in to his sons bedroom, which is where I was, and his exact words were "Did I do something wrong babe?" I told my friend, whos dad is a cop, and they told my parents, who in return called me, and came to pick me up, because I was suppose to be spending the night.
Well, I was interviewed, and spoke to the cops, but nothing really came of it, because I waited over a year to tell someone, who helped me get to the police.

My parents didnt believe me, and my aunt kept telling everyone I was lying, and just trying to start drama, so everyone was blaming me.
Well, its now 2010, almost three years later, and is it normal that I MISS my uncle?

Missing my uncle makes me wish I never told anyone, that way things could still be normal, and I could still see my cousins, and my aunt wouldnt hate me. I miss him, and wish that things were like they had been before all this happened.

And I really want to reach out to them, and talk to him, and see what it would be like now, or what he thinks of everything.. but im pretty sure they all want nothing to do with me, but how do I stop missing him?

I know I probably shouldnt miss him, but I really really do.

Of course you miss him...he was attentive and involved in your life in a way that felt good. And that part is gone now, so you miss him. Normal.

The not normal part is the way he took advantage of his position as an adult in your life, the special status he has being a caretaker and the special bond that develops as a result of that special attention and involvement and all. He violated that, and you.

You did the right thing by telling, it is far more important that you NOT be physically (and emotional) violated in order to get the morsels of emotional connection that went along with all that. Kids shouldn't have to pay for the love they get from adults charged with their care, it's part of the deal.

Its not wrong to miss him. It's not your fault that what he did was wrong. I say you confront him and make everything good again, making it clear that you are not interested in him. Family is family.