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Old 20-05-11, 12:40 PM   #1
 
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Default My Dad

I know it's probably normal to not like your parents sometimes or to come head to head with them a lot, but when it comes to my dad and I, it's ridiculous. He's a total control freak, and I'm not exaggerating. He throws a total fit if he doesn't get his way or if he can't control everything that you do. And it's not just me that he does this to. He does it to my sister, who is 23, out of college, has a stable job, a boyfriend, her own apartment that she pays for, and she lives about an hour away. He's constantly trying to tell her what to do as if she can't handle herself. He does the exact thing to me. He always tells me that I need to go study. I'm ranked 6th (I'm not asian, just for the record) in a class of 800, only .4 points in my average from number 1. I don't study very often because sitting down and just reading and doing practice doesn't help me because I'm an auditory learner. And it's not just this that he's ridiculous about. For example, today we went to the grocery store when we were leaving I was ahead of him and started to walk out the door. He then yelled at me for walking out the "wrong door" even though I clearly wasn't. I told him that I didn't need him to tell me which door to walk through, and threatened that if I gave him anymore smart ass comments I would be grounded. Other times, when he knows he's wrong about something he threatens to "haul off and clobber me" if I continue to defend myself. My mom defends me everytime, but when she does, he yells at her and then doesn't speak to either one of us for at least a few days. However, in contrast to this, sometimes he's one of the nicest persons you'll meet. And he never says anything if I do something that he doesn't control if there are other people around, but as soon as we leave, he yells at me for whatever. How do I live through this!?
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Old 20-05-11, 03:07 PM   #2
 
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Default Re: My Dad

Try talking to him and tell him how you feel.








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Old 20-05-11, 06:09 PM   #3
 
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Default Re: My Dad

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryant View Post
Try talking to him and tell him how you feel.
I tried that one time. He yelled at me and told me that he would tell me what to do where he deemed fit (which is apparently in everything having to do with my life) and that I was not as capable as I thought and I shouldn't be telling him how to "raise" me.
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Old 20-05-11, 06:25 PM   #4
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Default Re: My Dad

I'll assume that you're younger than your sister here. And I'm not sure about the Asian thing and how smart you are, either. I was ranked One always and that has nothing to do with the color of my skin.

Anyways, what you're up against is the (perhaps) reality that your dad is disturbed..that he has some pretty major issues that interere with his ability to see things (and people!) as they really are. Yeah, that happens in the best of families..non Asian, too.

What to do? Realize that you're not in a position to change his behavior or who he is, and keep your head down. Do what's expected, and keep it between the lines. On those occasions when that's just not possible, and he's clearly out of control, work with mom (who's in a better place to go toe to toe with him) and see what you guys can do together to help him reel it in a bit.
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