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Old 01-07-11, 06:30 PM   #1
 
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Icon9 How to convince someone who won't listen

Okay. My family has been having lots of trouble with where we live. First of all, my little brother who is diagnosed with autism cannot receive any help in the town we currently live in because there aren't any good programs here for that. In addition, I hate where I live. I feel as if I do not belong here at all and wish I could live somewhere else. My mom cannot find jobs in this location, doesn't feel comfortable at all (just like me), and worries so much about my brother. My sister is okay. Sometimes she likes it here, and sometimes she doesn't. Luckily, we found this specific place in which has excellent autism programs, good places in which my mom can get a job she would be interested in, and most of all, a place in which we feel very safe and happy there. We have been there, and we felt that it was a perfect match for us. However, my dad says that he didn't like the place, it will separate my brother, sister, mom, and myself away from him, and that it is a bit too far away form him (about 3.5 hours). He says that I will have to adapt to this place on my own until I leave off to college and he thinks that we can find good autism programs out of nowhere here while none are good. Our only best choice, however, for saving my brother, mother, sister, and myself is to move to that specific town. In addition, my mom, sister, and I feel very depressed because we are not happy with this place at all. Everyday I cry because I feel so uncomfortable and alienated here. My little brother has gotten much worse overtime (he even has AD HD now). Yet my dad will not let us move to that town that will help us a lot! I understand that it will be difficult to live 3 and a half hours away from him, but it is honestly for our own good. My sister in addition is going to a school here that has very poor averages. In the new town, the school there that we decided to put my sister in has very high averages (as a matter of fact, it is one of the best school districts in the country!) However, my dad wants to still keep her here and says that she should still continue to try her best and receive good grades (and she isn't even benefiting from this school. My mom has a good opportunity there to get a good job and she cannot find one here. I get the chance to go to one of the best universities in the world if I go there, but my dad doesn't want me to. How is everything going to work out and run smoothly for my sister, brother, mother, and I if we are still stuck here because my dad will not let us go? How can I convince him to let us go there? He says that we can make use of our problems here, but they are not working out at all!! Thank you. I don't want him to get upset with separating the family, but the 4 of us have a great opportunity there while heis best one is here.
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Old 01-07-11, 07:41 PM   #2
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Default Re: How to convince someone who won't listen

You should probably sit down as a family and talk to your father about the opportunities this new town would bring. Your brother's health is a very big issue, and he should be able to get help with his Autism and ADHD. Now, does your dad live with you guys? Or is he just not willing to move away?
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Old 01-07-11, 09:37 PM   #3
 
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Default Re: How to convince someone who won't listen

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You should probably sit down as a family and talk to your father about the opportunities this new town would bring. Your brother's health is a very big issue, and he should be able to get help with his Autism and ADHD. Now, does your dad live with you guys? Or is he just not willing to move away?
My dad DOES live with us.
Although, he does not want us to move out because he doesn't want to separate the family
And thanls for your advice
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Old 01-07-11, 11:08 PM   #4
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Default Re: How to convince someone who won't listen

Just try to talk to him and get him to see the positives of the move. Good luck.
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Old 01-07-11, 11:11 PM   #5
 
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Default Re: How to convince someone who won't listen

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Just try to talk to him and get him to see the positives of the move. Good luck.
Thanks!
I'm really hoping this will work!
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Old 02-07-11, 11:03 AM   #6
 
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Default Re: How to convince someone who won't listen

Does anyone else have any other suggestions? All your help is greatly appreciated!
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Old 03-07-11, 02:45 PM   #7
 
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Default Re: How to convince someone who won't listen

To be honest, the grass is always greener on the other side. You think moving is the answer to all your problems, but in all honesty wherever you go there will be problems. You're best just making the most of where you live now, because no matter where you go there'll always be somewhere else that seems better.

Jobwise, jobs come up all the time, your mum just needs to keep looking, take whatever she can get. Remember, its easier to get a job once you already have one, so even if she has to take a job she doesn't like, or isn't suited, or doesn't pay as well as she'd like, a job is a job. Every little helps, even if it is just to tide you over til she finds a better one. My dad spent most of his life working in a factory which was enough pay but was soul killing. He got fired and was unemployed for a while, but eventually he found a job working in a care home which he enjoys more but is less pay. You'll never find a perfect job but a job isn't meant to be perfect. A job is a means to an end. If it doesn't pay very well you're money will be topped up with tax credits.

Schoolwise, the school you're sister is going to may not be the best, but is she happy there? does she have friends? That's more important than the school's rep. At least it doesn't have a rep for knifecrime. All schools will have their faults, and school doesnt tend to benefit anyone. All's important is whether she's happy there, because if she is she's more likely to do well than if she isnt.

As for your brother, there are plenty of autism websites and internet support groups where you can get tips, advice and experiences or just talk to people in the same position as you.


Take it from me, I used to hate where I live. I live in a small town that doesn't really have anything going for it. I wanted to get out as soon as I could. Then I made friends. I got to know the ins and outs of my town. Now I hate being anywhere else. I always say, "King's Lynn may be a shithole, but it's OUR shithole"


But honestly, splitting up your family to move somewhere that you might end up hating equally is just not worth it. As i said before, the grass is always greener on the other side. Family is much mor important, it should either be all of you go or none of you go.
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Old 03-07-11, 07:09 PM   #8
 
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Default Re: How to convince someone who won't listen

what town do you live in, and what is the new town?
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Old 03-07-11, 09:35 PM   #9
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Default Re: How to convince someone who won't listen

Billy Joel says: You should never argue with a crazy mind.

BUT! If you must, try tell them over and over and over what you want them to hear. Hint at it, tell them up front, subliminal messages, hand and face gestures. Make sure they know EXACTLY what you want to tell them.










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Old 04-07-11, 04:48 PM   #10
 
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Default Re: How to convince someone who won't listen

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what town do you live in, and what is the new town?
I'm trying to be very descrete about that.
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