Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

So heres the problem I have which is getting me down.

Me and my best friend have known each other since we were 3 years old and hang out now still a lot. The problem is he messes me about with things like recently he got tickets to see Tinie Tempah through work which was awesome and I was really looking forward to it now we are supposed to go and see Tinie Tempah yet after asking numerous times how much do I owe you for the ticket he fails to tell me and says " I'll tell you later" so it was ok for the first 2 times then I try to arrange transportation and he wants to go by train so I tell him we have to book are tickets now or prices will rise dramatically and he pretends to acknowledge it and I feel it has gone in one ear and out the other because I don't even manage to get what time the whole thing starts instead I get a text saying " I'am busy" and I tell him now that we have to sort something out because it is tomorrow yet get the same text again saying he is busy.

This also frustrates me.

He will text me and I reply as soon as I realise I have got a text and it usually says "are you out this weekend? " if i don't see the message for a while he will contact my brothers and then if he can't contact them he rings my house phone which we don't usually do but if I text him he will not reply most of the time and am left in the lurch as to wether to make other plans with other friends or to go out with my family.

My last problem with my friend is when he is unhappy as in sad or angry I ask him if he is ok and wether he wants to talk to me about it and that am always there for him because he is my best friend and he says *no am fine" when blatently he is not.

Why can't my best friend be straight up with me stop messing me around all the time and after knowing each other so long just tell me what's on his mind.

I have consulted him about it many times yet he says " I dunno" and changes the subject.

Please help me out am so patient but ths is wearing me down and I don't want to lose my best friend.

also excuse my grammar.

Hey, maybe he's already booked the train tickets and is just messed with you I wouldn't be surprised. And regarding your last problem, guys generally aren't really aren't open with emotions, I'd expect you to know this; being a male yourself. Regardless of him being your best friend or not, he might still feel uncomfortable speaking about his feelings, I know I can be.

1) Your friend is not as responsive as you are and perhaps slightly inconsiderate. You need to also be more patient with him, don’t expect him to respond to your texts as quickly for example. Next time he sends you a text on his own or reaches out; take some time before you reach back out. Let him observe what you’re doing; have him see why it can be frustrating trying to communicate with a non-responsive person at times. Then you address it! Once he’s picked up on what you’re doing, you address why you’re doing it and why it bothers you. Hear him out, he’ll hear you out and come to terms with better communication.

2) If he isn’t comfortable opening up about his feelings then don’t pressure him to but rather encourage him to. At times people regardless of gender will hide certain things about themselves including the way they may feel because they don’t know how to communicate. If your friend doesn’t know how to communicate it wouldn’t hurt trying to teach him the appropriate way to do so because you’re coming from a good place. Put him in his comfort zone, you know best where and how he feels comfortable, if it’s in his own home, or out somewhere where he likes to be and then ask him if there’s a reason why he holds back on telling you things, if he gives you a valid reason go with it and see where that leads you if he dismisses it drop it and reassure him that you’ll always be there if he needs someone to listen to him.

^ I agree , Totally.

Anybody can become angry , Thats really easy ...
but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.

Maybe he has arranged everything as a surprise so maybe he just wants you to leave him to it

I can't really give you advice on the ticket situation because I have never been in that situation, but I can give you some advice on what you should do when your friend feels angry, or sad.When your friend feels sad, or any other type of feeling you should just give him some time to cool of, because if he is like really mad for some reason, he might just start yelling at you, and tell you to leave him alone.