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Old 18-02-12, 11:25 AM   #1
 
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Name: Livia Eva
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Default problems with my first friend :(

Hi!
I have some problems with my friend Sebastaino (he is a boy, but we don't stay together, we are just friends) and I don't know what to do!
We have known each other since he was 4 months and I was 8 months.
When we were 9 he moved to a small town called Bra in another region and since he moved, I've visited him lots of times while he came to Milan very few times.
Last september he asked me to spend a week there but I said I couldn't because I wanted to spend some times with my old middle school friends because I wouldn't have seen many of them often as we all moved to high school.
When I told him, he got angry and told me that if we are friends I have to show him that I really care about him.
I told him that I've always visited him and that I would have gone to Bra during the Christmas holidays.
After that, we haven't talked until december when I wrote him a message where I apologized and told him that I really care about our friendship and that everything which is already happens can be changed and so he should forgive me
He answered me that I was right and everything returned as it was before. (I thought it was..)
We didn't meet at Christmas because he visited his grandma in Austria.
He called me 2 weeks ago and he seemed cold and.. well.. he was strange.
It was like he was still angry with me.
I couldn't talk with him much because I was out with a friend..
Do you think he is still angry with me? If he is, what should I do to make everything return like it was before?
Please I really need your help!
Thank you! xx
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Old 18-02-12, 11:31 AM   #2
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Default Re: problems with my first friend :(

There's nothing you can really do, unless to keep on assuring him that you do care about him - which you clearly do, otherwise you wouldn't even post here, yes?
He's being a bit silly, in my opinion. Maybe he just really feels jealous and wants to spend more time with you, and gets irritated easily about not being able to. Make sure you keep on giving him the attention he craves for- if you want him to be normal again. Don't act cold as he does or that will inevitably distance you.
Approach him in a caring way, tell him that you found his attitude cold, ask him if everything's okay... Maybe something bad happened, that has nothing to do with you? There can be lots of possibilities. Don't fret my dear, I'm sure you can do it~.
Keep us updated :3
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Old 18-02-12, 12:03 PM   #3
 
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Default Re: problems with my first friend :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandemonium View Post
There's nothing you can really do, unless to keep on assuring him that you do care about him - which you clearly do, otherwise you wouldn't even post here, yes?
He's being a bit silly, in my opinion. Maybe he just really feels jealous and wants to spend more time with you, and gets irritated easily about not being able to. Make sure you keep on giving him the attention he craves for- if you want him to be normal again. Don't act cold as he does or that will inevitably distance you.
Approach him in a caring way, tell him that you found his attitude cold, ask him if everything's okay... Maybe something bad happened, that has nothing to do with you? There can be lots of possibilities. Don't fret my dear, I'm sure you can do it~.
Keep us updated :3
Thank you!
I try to be really friendly and warm when we talk but I feel uncomfortable around him because he talks to me with a cold voice D:
Yes, I think the way Sebastiano acted was really childish.. But I can't get angry with him because he is really important to me!
I always mention him when I talk about precious friends and long-lasting friendships..
You know, you are probably right.. *_*
He has a younger sister (7 years old). She is really cute, she is like the sister I've never had, but she can also be annoying and loves getting all the attention of their parents on her.. Their dad (who my mum and I find really unpleasant) always complains about Sebastiano, never about his sister with whom he is really caring and he lets her do everything she wants.
Maybe he feels just ignored and alone but I can't visit him every weekend! I'd really love to, but I can't!
He didn't make many friends and also, he used to attend a private school here in Milan but when he moved, he enrolled at a public school because there aren't any private schools in the area.. He told me kids in his class tend to isolate him because they say he is 'Snob & a Daddy's boy' (which is not true at all) only because he is wealthy and has a big house..
Of course I'll keep you updated!
Thank you again <3
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Old 18-02-12, 12:46 PM   #4
 
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Default Re: problems with my first friend :(

I doubt you need a second opinion but, just in case, it doesn't seem like you've done anything wrong at all. His behavior's just a little irrational. Like Pandemonium said, it could have nothing to do with you. If it does, make sure he understands how much he means to you and that his attitude is bothering you. I'm sure the last thing he wants to do is hurt you.
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Old 18-02-12, 01:30 PM   #5
 
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Default Re: problems with my first friend :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by manny View Post
I doubt you need a second opinion but, just in case, it doesn't seem like you've done anything wrong at all. His behavior's just a little irrational. Like Pandemonium said, it could have nothing to do with you. If it does, make sure he understands how much he means to you and that his attitude is bothering you. I'm sure the last thing he wants to do is hurt you.
I agree with Manny and Pandemonium. They're usually smarter than me when it comes to things like this.
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Old 18-02-12, 02:15 PM   #6
 
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Default Re: problems with my first friend :(

Sounds like puberty has hit your friend big time! Girls ALL girls are seen in a completely different light around your age, and we do get irrational about it.

I have no female friends that go back to diapers with me, but have like five guy friends, if I was acting kinda like a jerk about any of our friendships, I hope they'd treat me as kindly as you are treating Sebastiano. He'll come around.
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