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  • 2 Post By DeepDistress
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Old 24-05-12, 09:51 PM   #1
 
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Default How do you go about confronting neglectful and distant friends?

Someone a female who I used to be really good friends with after constant pursuit on my part has suddenly gotten really distant for the past 11 months.

Understandably being in a new environment(She sorta moved 8 months ago) could cause her needing time to adjust and adapt, And she only intended to stay for a month or so and then come back but then ever since she met a new boyfriend(Who she's having on the side while she's still with her boyfriend where she was at originally) she ended up staying longer and it seems like she hardly wants to chat or talk like we used to or to ANYONE of her old friends and most of the time when I text her to see what's up or if she wants to hang out sometime next time she's back I'm lucky to get a response or even a response that's more that a simple response like "Noda" "Not much." "Maybe" or "K". Her phone has really bad reception so I don't like to call her so I just stick with texting her or chatting on facebook.

I've been dealing with this for a while now with no huge problems on my side but ever since her birthday past, I've started to feel nostalgic and started to miss her and I'm wondering if I should flat out confront her and ask her if she even cares anymore but I don't know how I should go about it IF at all.

Tips or advice?
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Old 24-05-12, 09:59 PM   #2
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Default Re: How do you go about confronting neglectful and distant friends?

Hate to put it harshly.. but you gotta let it go and move on.
Things like this rarely go back to the way they were. And she's moved on and has a new life now. Hurts like hell but gotta let it go.
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Old 24-05-12, 10:27 PM   #3
 
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Default Re: How do you go about confronting neglectful and distant friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepDistress View Post
Hate to put it harshly.. but you gotta let it go and move on.
Things like this rarely go back to the way they were. And she's moved on and has a new life now. Hurts like hell but gotta let it go.
Believe me I'm well aware of that possibility and I'm more than willing to accept it, but it's just the idea of silently accepting it without a word and walking away that bothers me.

I'd rather confront her about it, hear her thoughts and feelings, see if she feels like we should just go our separate ways, and THEN part ways if it comes to that. Plus Who knows she could just be taking all of us for granted and realizing that she's doing it could change her tune ya know?
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Old 25-05-12, 02:01 AM   #4
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Default Re: How do you go about confronting neglectful and distant friends?

^ Life is hard broseph.
She has a new life now and you aren't part of it. It hurts to let go, but it's better then dragging on.

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Old 25-05-12, 06:34 AM   #5
 
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Default Re: How do you go about confronting neglectful and distant friends?

Like they said, people have the freedom to move on ... and so do you. But it's your decision if you want to "confront" her. I would suggest thinking of it as a one last ditch effort to re-connect rather than a confrontation tho. Just say "hey it sucks that we never talk anymore, I miss you, and lets talk more and maybe do stuff together" If she doesnt change her ways after that there is nothing you can do but move on. But at least you know you can rest easy knowing you tried and got the truth off your chest. But a guilt trip is not necessary imo.
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Old 25-05-12, 09:04 AM   #6
 
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Default Re: How do you go about confronting neglectful and distant friends?

i (like my opinion matters) usually straight up talk to them. as it has happened alot recently to me. and it usually ends up with us separating (usually), but there is still hope. although i think if you do, it may or may not cause problems between you and the 'new' boyfriend.




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Old 27-05-12, 12:02 AM   #7
 
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Default Re: How do you go about confronting neglectful and distant friends?

And now I get a random text in the middle of the night at 1 in the morning of her saying "I need help." I ask her what's wrong? and she says "[Boyfriends name] Beat me." I go on to asking WHAT HAPPENED? and no response. Now she got me concerned again....

I don't understand girls.
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