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Old 28-02-18, 07:21 PM   #1
 
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Rebmamallig is on a distinguished road
Icon21 Why am i so uncomfortable around my dad and other men?

I used to be the only one out of my 2 siblings who stuck by his side and always walked with him when we were out or sat next to him when we had dinner, while my siblings favoured my mum. But over the past few years i have drifted from him and have been seeing him as a threat almost. I have generalised anxiety disorder so this could be the cause but for some reason i don’t think it is. I feel threatened by most men. I have the strong belief that they are all up to something or not who they say they are, like they are going to hurt me in some way. I actually feel physically exhausted after talking to my dad and i feel disgusted when i have to hug him or kiss him goodbye. I could never let him know i feel this way though because he apparently has depression according to my mum and I’m scared he’ll hurt himself in some way if he finds out. I always have to walk on eggshells when I’m around him and I don’t think I’ve ever shown anger, frustration or done anything other than smile in front of my dad for years. I don’t remember the last time i got angry at him. I don’t think I ever have. But my dad used to yell a lot and very aggressively and still does sometimes so that’s why I don’t piss him off and have to walk on eggshells. But that’s not what I’m scared of with other men. I have had dreams of men raping and tying me up but I’m pretty sure that’s just my imagination. I don’t know what to do and I’m really tired of faking my emotions every time i leave my room. I have actually been having bad headaches due to stress for months. I need some answers.
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Old 01-03-18, 04:33 PM   #2
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Default Re: Why am i so uncomfortable around my dad and other men?

I suggest talking to your mum about this or someone who you know and trust well - your dad may have depression but you are his child and you should not have to feel like you are unable to express your emotions. You should definitely not approach your dad about this as this could cause him to have a melt down if he is depressed and he may not fully understand your reasoning. However, it is causing you significant hard - so you need to talk to someone who can help you and guide you. Then it may be possible for you to sit down with your dad and mum or someone who is a professional to help in this situation.

Anxiety is hard enough - having to hide your anxieties is even harder! Get support.









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Old 13-07-18, 10:19 PM   #3
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Default Re: Why am i so uncomfortable around my dad and other men?

My advice is to set aside all suspicions about your dad and relax. If he hasn't done anything wrong there's absolutely no foundation to build mistrust against him. This irrational behavior is unfair to him and also pointlessly exhausting for you. If you dwell too much on any type of thought or fear, you're going to develop a fixation that'll only get worse and more unreasonable with time. You have to stop this before you are unable to.
The fact that you've even had dreams of being tied up and raped shows that you are fixating on an unfounded fear, and one that targets the entire male demographic. This will also get worse if you don't address it now. You're going to have to train yourself to let go and face whatever comes in this life. Fearing what may or may not happen is a road to insanity. This is an obsessive/compulsive disorder and trust me when I tell you it's not something you want to mess with. Even if it's difficult at first, get rid of it before it ruins your life.
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