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Old 14-06-18, 05:00 PM   #1
 
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Name: Liam
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Default 2018 FIFA World Cup for Football (soccer) haters

The Postillon (Taken and translated from a German (Fake) News Site http://www.der-postillon.com/)



Thursday, June 14, 2018

Clinic offers football haters put them in artificial coma during World Cup


Kempten (dpo) - Today World Cup 2018 starts with the game of host Russia against Saudi Arabia - and thus a nightmare for passionate football haters who can barely escape the celebrated major event on all channels.

A private clinic in Kempten, Germany, now offers them the option of being put into an artificial coma for the next 30 days.

Chief physician Frederik Keupen explains the reasons for this unusual offer: "Not everyone likes to listen to the nightly rumble of drunken football fans and be confronted 24/7 with WM coverage to sprinklein all media and on all TV channels ," said the physician. "Getting yourself into an artificial coma from 14 June to 15 July provides a 100% stress free time for many football haters."

Then rather choose to stay in a coma.

Although championship haters could seek their salvation, for example, in the United States, which has little football enthusiasm, but compared to a stay in the United States, a good three-week artificial coma is a bargain: It only costs 800 Euros, which are even proportionally taken over by the health insurance, if the patient can prove that the football euphoria drives his blood pressure to the highest level.

For some, the four and a half weeks are not enough:

Kai Wieblinger (31), for example, was put to artificial sleep for a small extra charge a week ago. Previously, he said, even the World Cup preliminary report have made him crazy. " I'm not interested in, whether Manuel Neuers foot is fully resilient in time for the championship or with which authoritarian statesmen, the players spend their time. Enough is enough, I'm off!"

Football haters who now suddenly be interessted should hurry. Since now almost all beds are fully booked, tickets for free seats can only be obtained to completely excessive black market prices in the parking lot in front of the clinic.

Last edited by lliam; 14-06-18 at 05:06 PM..
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