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General Help and Advice Forum Seek advice on general life issues and frustrations.

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Old 10-10-11, 10:59 PM   #1
 
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Icon9 I need help with making friends.

I just moved for the 6th time in less then 4 years, we moved in with my grandmother this time in the hood. Yes, that means a new school. I'm having some trouble making friends.. a lot of trouble. People spread rumors around that I'm a lesbian and I have bruises on my knees from people kicking me. They always laugh at me for what I wear and stuff. The other day, I was walking home and there was a moving truck parked on the curb, and some black kid said, "That's going to be the first car she drives." and him and his friends started laughing. I know the jokes are lame, and I just try to ignore it, but it still just really bothers me. And, the other day, this girl named Fatima in what you call, the 'popular group' told me to commit suicide. Right to my face. How can I deal with this, without just going to the principal or my parents?
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Old 11-10-11, 03:40 AM   #2
 
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Default Re: I need help with making friends.

That is bullying no doubt about it someone should be told about it, if you don't feel comfortable going directly to parents/principal, maybe tell a teacher and let them do it.
As for making friends, just be yourself, find people with similar interests etc.
Keep in mind that most bullies only act the way they do to cover up there own failings, whatever they may be.
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Old 11-10-11, 09:53 AM   #3
 
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Default Re: I need help with making friends.

You're being bullied and when you're being bullied it is best to tell someone, preferably an adult. They can help you sort it out, things won't change by themselves. Telling someone to commit suicide is horrible, as is spreading rumours and any other kind of bullying. Making friends will be much easier when you're not being bullied and slowly regaining confidence. So if I was you I'd defintley tell an adult, my parent or a teacher. If you feel you can't face them then you could write a letter explaining what is going on. No one deserves to go through what you are going through, it isn't fair. I really do urge you to tell someone.

Another thing. Show you don't care even if you do! I understand it might be hard to do so, but showing you care and you are afraid is exactly what they're looking for. Try you're best to steer clear of the bullies, though I know it is not possible in lessons. Just stay strong! If you're feeling brave enough you could even answer back, though I know it takes a lot of courage.

And now for making friends. You want friends that are at least similar to you, so try joining clubs and hopefully you'll meet some! Walk around with a smile on your face, this will make you look friendly and more approachable.

Good luck though! A problem shared is a problem halved.









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Old 11-10-11, 10:58 AM   #4
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Default Re: I need help with making friends.

You need to tell someone, that isn't acceptable. It's one thing being called names or having a few rumours, I mean, alot of new kids have this problem which usually die down once they settle in but what that girl said to you about suicide is wrong. You need to tell a teacher or your parents.
Do you know where these rumours are coming from? Like is it a particular group or everyone in general? I'm sorry you had a bad start but I expect it should go away soon, even quicker if you tell someone.

I also agree with Starry. Act like you don't care and smile. I know that smiling/laughing when someone says something like that pisses them off.









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Old 11-10-11, 02:09 PM   #5
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Default Re: I need help with making friends.

Fatima is one of the dumbest spanish name i've ever herd. Well when you say it in spanish. I don't have any good advice to say, you see, i fight fire with fire, but i always win...
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Old 11-10-11, 04:19 PM   #6
 
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Default Re: I need help with making friends.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LaurenTheNerd View Post
You need to tell someone, that isn't acceptable. It's one thing being called names or having a few rumours, I mean, alot of new kids have this problem which usually die down once they settle in but what that girl said to you about suicide is wrong. You need to tell a teacher or your parents.
Do you know where these rumours are coming from? Like is it a particular group or everyone in general? I'm sorry you had a bad start but I expect it should go away soon, even quicker if you tell someone.

I also agree with Starry. Act like you don't care and smile. I know that smiling/laughing when someone says something like that pisses them off.
I know who started it. This kid named Andrew just randomly, for no reason, told another kid named Abraham that I'm a lesbian. And whenever Abraham hears something, he always tell everyone he sees.. but a girl named Jackeline was the first to ask me if I was a lesbian, for no reason. I didn't answer her, though.
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Old 11-10-11, 04:26 PM   #7
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Default Re: I need help with making friends.

Well, first off, fuck them. And second off, sorry to hear about your plight. It sucks.

Honestly, while I think telling someone is the correct thing to do, teenagers are mean. They will bully you even more for it, so I would eliminate that. However, if the physical abuse continues, I would tell the principal and/or the authorities. Press charges on that shit. Take pics of your injuries.

I feel like you aren't the type to off yourself, so forget what that girl said. She's just stupid. Popular kids have this feeling of self entitlement for some weird reason.

Just throw one finger to the haters, and I hope you assimilate soon enough. if you need anything send me a message.








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Old 13-10-11, 10:52 PM   #8
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Default Re: I need help with making friends.

I, like you, moved around a lot when I was younger. I was also bullied to no end. I agree with @Vertigo when he says that teens will bully you more for "tattling" but I think that you could just tell someone on the down low so that they can keep an eye on things. Bullying isn't right and you have every right to enjoy a bully-free school experience.

Just keep your head up, keep on going, and laugh like mad when you hear the rumors. Stand up to them! If you can't beat them, join them. People will respect you for that more than if you just cower and walk away.

Don't worry about finding friends. They will find you if you just get out and make yourself known more.








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