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Old 07-01-12, 11:21 PM   #1
 
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Default Guys, would you lie to your girlfriend about your feelings?

I have a bit of anxiety so bear with me.

My boyfriend was acting really in love with me before he went on holiday recently, like really in love.

He was always saying things like "I never want to let you go" and just being more affectionate and sweet than he's ever been.

His whole holiday he's been really cold towards me and when I gently remind him I'm saying stuff like "Hi hun miss you xoxo" type stuff he just talks to me like he would a friend.

The only time he was really nice was when he was turned on and that.

I asked him again and he said he didn't think he was acting any differently (definitely is).

I also said during a video call "It seems like you were really in love with me the other night when ___ happened".

I can't exactly remember what I said.

He smiled and said "Yeah".

I don't really understand what is going on.

He comes home tomorrow.

I will talk to him about it but he has a big communication problem.
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Old 07-01-12, 11:33 PM   #2
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Default Re: Guys, would you lie to your girlfriend about your feelings?

I think that it's hard to say if he was lying or not. Don't jump to conclusions to quickly though. Maybe he has other things on his mind, or other problems that he is dealing with. Or he might think the relationship is moving too fast or it might be something else. There could be a million reasons his behavior changed. Ask him if there's anything wrong. And if he doesn't want to tell you give it some time and see what happens.
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Old 07-01-12, 11:40 PM   #3
 
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Default Re: Guys, would you lie to your girlfriend about your feelings?

I just had this horrible feeling because of him only being nice to me the 1 night he was online and turned on.

I'm the girl he's been with longest yet he's readily admitted feelings of like being in love to other girls and not me.

He says I'm the right girl for him but I just don't know.

Everything used to be a lot better.
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Old 07-01-12, 11:57 PM   #4
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Default Re: Guys, would you lie to your girlfriend about your feelings?

I know how you feel. And I mean it is a possibility. If it really bothers you a lot, the best thing would be to talk to him about it. And see what he has to say. That might help you feel better, If you hear what he has to say about why he's acting different.
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Old 07-01-12, 11:59 PM   #5
 
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Default Re: Guys, would you lie to your girlfriend about your feelings?

I should just go back to caring a whole lot less, I was happier then.
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Old 08-01-12, 12:06 AM   #6
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Default Re: Guys, would you lie to your girlfriend about your feelings?

Well, I bet he'll go back to the way he was acting before in time. Don't let it bother you too much in the meantime. It's probably just something temporary that's bothering him.
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Old 08-01-12, 12:28 AM   #7
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Default Re: Guys, would you lie to your girlfriend about your feelings?

Basically, the way I think it would be described best is that you two are moving to the next stage in your relationship... I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year & a half, and around 6 months I learned that not all relationships stay super lovey dovey. If you trust your boyfriend, believe in him and what he says.
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Old 08-01-12, 06:18 AM   #8
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Default Re: Guys, would you lie to your girlfriend about your feelings?

He's not lieing. You said he has NPD among some other things? He is most likely just extremely anxious and nervous, and has poor communication skills.

He seems like a really nice guy even if he can't articulate what he is feeling. He seems like he is trying to talk to you, but somehow things just don't come out right.
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Old 08-01-12, 07:08 AM   #9
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Default Re: Guys, would you lie to your girlfriend about your feelings?

I should definately talk to him about the situation.
It might be something innocent, like the others already mentioned.
But it might also be something less fun. He might have discovered he didn't actually missed you that much, and that's why he is acting so cold.
And being in love while turned on? That's normal, even if you don't love someone.

But don't let my pessimistic attitude demoralize you. I sometimes see the dark side of things too easily.
Talk to him, prod at him a little, and find out for yourself. face to face contact is the ebst that you can do. No place to run, no place to hide.
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Old 08-01-12, 10:15 PM   #10
 
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Default Re: Guys, would you lie to your girlfriend about your feelings?

Well just for an update I did talk to him.

He said that he had been having intense emotional dreams on holiday and then opened up to me and talked about them.

He said he's felt in love with me a few times and I said well please let me know in future so I am not always guessing.

He said something which I couldn't make any sense of "Well it's not a direct thought, it's just a feeling"

Well I thought you'd have to think "I am feeling this feeling" to know what you're feeling!

I was so happy and then he spoiled it by going on a dating site 5 minutes after telling me, which he didn't log onto his whole holiday.

I am so sick of this shit, I have to pick him up from the airport in 4 hours.
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