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General Help and Advice Forum Seek advice on general life issues and frustrations.

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Old 29-05-12, 08:20 PM   #1
My Mood:  Unhappy
Age: 24
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Relle is on a distinguished road
Icon8 Nothing has changed (Please help)

Seriously, I am now beyond frustrated. I'm not suicidal or anything but I do feel like my life is stuck in a black hole and it's driving me insane. My anxiety and depression have been off the wall lately. My mom is still not considerate of others, my family judge the heck out of me and the decisions I make, I'm having trouble looking for a job, I barely have any friends, and this list goes on.

My ex boyfriend and I were together for 3 years but we've finally broken up. I have to admit, I am highly upset. He finally told me about all the wrong things he did behind my back the whole time we were together. He pretty much had sex with 5+ girls and some of them gave him oral sex. He and I also got into a lot of problems while we were together. And still, I find myself missing him. I was a very good girlfriend to him. I didn't cheat on him, I was madly in love with him, and I did all I could but I guess nothing lasts forever, as my stepdad always tells me. I've pretty much been depressed because I usually find myself reading the posts he has on twitter or thinking about all the good times we had together, like going to prom and seeing all the latest movies. He's been putting stuff on twitter lately like saying how won't lose any sleep over me and how he doesn't love me anymore. I'm really sad because I do still really love him...but I wasn't the person who messed up...so why should I feel bad? Well, I've been trying to tell myself that...I'm trying to get over him and focus on the things I want and need to do now. But I can't if I keep thinking of him and all those bitter-sweet memories.....

Next, my new boyfriend. He and I are like Tom and Jerry, we're always together, we make each other laugh and smile and we both try to help motivate each other to do better. Well, the problem? My whole family, except for my older sister, pretty much does not care for him. Awhile back, he,my mom, and my neighbor got into a dispute. My mom pretty much cussed him out, called him retarded, called him a bastard and lots of female dogs. Of-course he reacted, so he also kinda said some words...so now they pretty much don't like each other, and according to my mom, she apparently hates him. I'm not going to go on forever but pretty much, my family talked about him because they say they feel he and I don't belong together and that he's not someone I should be with because he doesn't have the "cool" clothes that everyone else wears and because of the dispute between him and my mom. He also recently lost his job but he's pretty much on his way to getting another. I can honestly say he has progressed since we first started getting to know each other. I just want to be there for him because he really doesn't have anyone. He was pretty much raised by his grandma and now deceased grandpa. His mom died when he was 1 and he has never seen his father. My mom and everyone else feels that I need to be with someone that dresses better and won't cuss my mom or neighbor out after they come at him in a disrespectful and rude way. I'm content and happy with him but it feels as though my mom wants me to break up with him. But I thought it was how I felt about him and if I'm happy, not how everyone else feels. After all, it is my relationship.

As for other things, my mom and I still don't really get along that much. I also don't really have a lot of people to talk to so I get really irritable and depressed easily as a result. I've been having mild anxiety attacks lately, which pretty much take my good mood away. The looking for a job thing isn't going well so I'm making my own graphic design website for the time being until I can find a permanent job. I'm really looking forward to getting my own place soon and a car and just being able to depend on no one but myself. My only escape from everything is music and my boyfriend and the things that I hope to accomplish. But it still seems I'm stuck in the same spot. The only thing that has changed is that I am now 19 and I'm done with high school. That's it.
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Old 30-05-12, 05:46 AM   #2
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Default Re: Nothing has changed (Please help)

About your ex:
It would be easier to forget about him if you stopped reading his Twitter and stopped doing things related to him. You miss him because you don't give it a chanche to heal. Stop reading his twitter and move on.

About your boyfriend:
As you said, it's your relationship. If you think you two are doing great, then keep going. Your family have no say in the matters. If they don't like your boyfriend, it's their problem, not yours.

About your life:
Parents can be harsh. Did you talk with your mom about the state of affairs? Talking usually solves alot of problems. In the worst case scenario, you can always move out. I don't know about where you are living, but where i live you are free to leave at 18...

As for the rest, life is slow. Good things will never happen in a night or day. You have to work for it. Keep on doing that and the possibilities will come up on their own.

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Old 01-06-12, 07:31 PM   #3
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Default Re: Nothing has changed (Please help)

Just don't bring your bf around your family for noe, and move out ASAP.
Exes should be erased and forgotten.
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Old 03-06-12, 11:28 AM   #4
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Default Re: Nothing has changed (Please help)

In regards to your ex you really just need to dispose of everything and anything that reminds you of him. You gotta delete him from your twitter, facebook, or whatever because he is simply not doing you any good.

I think you need to set like long term and short term goals for yourself too.
look into colleges to get you out of the house more
look into jobs more to earn you some money and get you out of the house more
learn to appreciate your current boyfriend more and learn to forget your ex.
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