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General Help and Advice Forum Seek advice on general life issues and frustrations.

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Old 16-02-17, 05:54 PM   #1
 
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Icon9 What the heck happened?

Okay, so this is going to get lengthy and I apologize. So I am currently a nineteen year old freshman in college and everything was going well until I started developing feelings for this guy that goes to my campus ministry. He is two years older than me and I thought he was a good guy. I swear I tried to ignore my feelings for him, but well as you can guess that is easier said than done. I sort of fell madly in love with him and I can't get him off of my mind. He was even gone for a week and I missed him so much it hurt. But I've been torturing myself because I know I'm not his type and he doesn't like me like that. I thought he at least wanted to be friends, but now I'm not so sure.
You see I started messaging him on Facebook, just casually like a friend would. Well the first time he ignored me, but then he apologized the next day and said he had fallen asleep. I believe him because he didn't read the message and it was like two in the morning. Well we've talked a bit over messenger, but it has mostly just led to him ignoring me, and then replying back to certain things, like questions. The thing is that when we're both at things for our campus ministry him and I can talk perfectly fine. But something seems to have happened after he got back from being gone for a week. I saw him on Monday and things were fine I thought, but now that I'm looking back he was acting kind of distant and weird around me. Almost everytime I would try to talk to him he'd start acting spacy. Well I saw him again today at lunch and he more or less just ignored me. I was sitting next to my best friend and his best friend was sitting in front of me. I asked my best friend why the guy I like hated me, and his best friend said, "because he's an a-hole." The guy I like was just acting weird around me, and he doesn't even know I like him, so it can't be because of that.
The thing that made me the most mad and confused is when I more or less asked him if he wanted me to ride down with him to this weekend retreat we are both going to. Him and I are the only ones going as far as I know and he has to drive himself down there. I was just trying to be nice, because I know I wouldn't want to be alone on a two-hour drive, but he was just like, "No, that's okay." and then walked away.

Sorry that was so long, but I wanted you all to have the background story before you made any assumptions about me. I'm just confused as to how we were perfectly fine on Monday and he was talking to me, and now on a Thursday he's ignoring me and acting all weird. I also don't know why he can be nice and friendly to me at the campus ministry things, but he can't reply to a dang message I send him. I'm just lost and confused and I don't know what to think anymore and I'm ready to just give up on love because all it seems to bring is confusion and heartache. I also know nothing about guys since I've never dated anyone and I just wish someone would explain to me what is going on.
Thank you to anyone who can help!
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Old 16-02-17, 06:11 PM   #2
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Default Re: What the heck happened?

In all honesty it just sounds like he generally isn't interested in anything more than a friendship. It's easy for people to talk and get along when in a face to face environment when they have to be somewhere but if he's persistently not replying to messages or seeming weird it just seems like he isn't interested in you the same way as you are with him and you aren't catching the hint.

Like if someone isn't interested and someone keeps trying to talk to you, or ask questions or try and meet up with you then generally you're probably going to get that kind of spacy response, especially as he doesn't know it's because you like him.

If he was interested, he would be trying to flirt, gain your attention and make the effort to get to know you out of these ministry meetings. That's just how these things tend to work.
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Old 17-02-17, 09:05 AM   #3
 
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Default Re: What the heck happened?

I mostly agree with Tom, however if you're really dead set on this guy, just lay your cards on the table. You won't know for sure what's up with him unless you try. Ask him out. If he says no, leave him be.
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