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Old 21-10-11, 05:53 AM   #1
 
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Default Am I a freak, like everyone says???

Well you see, I was always bullied as a kid. I never felt like most girls and I wasn't like them. As I grew older I found out I was bisexual and that I am female to male transgender. When I admit these things I feel proud to be me. Yet, people will call me names and give me dirty looks. I always get stared at when I wear guy clothes and walk down the street. When I tell people I want to be named Christopher instead of Courtney they look at me weird. My friends will call me Chris but I feel like they don't fully support me. I wonder if sometimes if it was true, am I really a freak? I know I am an outcast and I like it. But am I really a freak? I have also found myself in the predicament where I have a long distance relationship with this girl whom I love with all my heart. We have been dating for about six months, and she fully supports my decision. Yet I have a boyfriend where I live now and they both know of each other and its all good. My boyfriend will let me go if I want to live with my girlfriend which is why I truly love him. Yet when I dress in guys clothes I feel like he can't accept it. He wants me to be a girl but I'm not happy that way. I don't know what to do. Am I really a freak??? Is there anyone like me or am I all alone in this world???
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Old 21-10-11, 06:17 AM   #2
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Default Re: Am I a freak, like everyone says???

You're not a freak and you can be whatever you want to be. The thing I have an issue with, however, if the fact you have a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time. I think you need to make a decision about whom you love the most and whether or not you'll adhere to their wishes about how you dress. If you stayed with your boyfriend, and he wishes you to look more like a girl, would you be willing to do that? If not, I don't think you should stay with him. You also need to consider how successful your relationship with the girl would be. You may find that neither will work.

I wish you luck and remember, you aren't a freak. You are who you are and you should be proud of yourself no matter how many people disapprove of how you choose to live.









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Old 21-10-11, 06:30 AM   #3
 
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Default Re: Am I a freak, like everyone says???

@LaurenTheNerd I know everyone wants me to choose and I told my boyfriend about this and everything and I cannot see the girl til I graduate High School. I have been friends with her for 2 years. She also has a girlfriend where she is. I know this is very annoying and I apologize deeply. I truly love my girlfriend and my boyfriend knows this he knows and accepts that if I had to choose I would stay with her. He would let me go for me to be happy. I do not wish to hurt him which is why I told him about her when he asked me out I warned him clearly yet he still wanted me. .......Does this make me a bad person????
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Old 21-10-11, 06:38 AM   #4
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Default Re: Am I a freak, like everyone says???

It doesn't make you a bad person but in my personal opinion, having more than one partner isn't a helpful decision. You could really hurt him and honestly I'm surprised he even went out with you when you already had a girlfriend.

I don't think you should stay with her. She already has another girlfriend so clearly she isn't commited to you. This all sounds like one big open relationship to me. If I were in your position I'd forget about the girl and work on your relationship with your boyfriend.









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Old 21-10-11, 06:50 AM   #5
 
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Default Re: Am I a freak, like everyone says???

Yes but you see she just got the girlfriend and she asked me for permission to date her. I talk to her all the time saying well maybe we should break up until we can physically be with each other. If I need to though I will break up with one of them.
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Old 21-10-11, 08:22 AM   #6
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Default Re: Am I a freak, like everyone says???

I really think you should just stick to one partner at a time. I don't think any of this will help you in any way and someone is going to get hurt. It's up to you obviously but that's my advice.









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Old 21-10-11, 08:33 AM   #7
 
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Default Re: Am I a freak, like everyone says???

Bullies are bullies and will always find something to wind you up about. You sound like you're perfectly happy with who you are and that's good, don't try to change just cause of bullies, you are not the freak, they are.




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Old 21-10-11, 09:08 AM   #8
 
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Default Re: Am I a freak, like everyone says???

@LaurenTheNerd
@guitarguy1357
Thanks you guys I appreciate the advice and stuff. I will do my best to make everyone happy.
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Old 21-10-11, 09:10 AM   #9
 
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Default Re: Am I a freak, like everyone says???

you are not a freak, you are you, its your decision, and anyway what defines the word freak and normalcause to a gay man being homosexual is normal but to a heterosexual man or woman homosexuality is weird so no your not a freak you are amazing and fairplay to coming out
everyone knows i'm bi except my parents (it really hard to tell em)
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Old 21-10-11, 09:40 AM   #10
 
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Default Re: Am I a freak, like everyone says???

Thanks and yes I know where you are right now. It was hard telling my Dad that I was bi it was even harder telling him I want to become a man. But surprisingly he accepted me and told me he will support me in anyway that he can. If you plan to tell your parents I suggest having good friends behind you to back you up then to take a deep breath and calmly talk to them.
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