Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

I'm a 16 year old girl. I've known for awhile that I am not straight, and although I don't know what exactly to label myself, I am ok with who I am. But nobody that i know in real life knows about this. And I sort of want to just tell my mother and get it over with. Because the longer I put things off, the scarier they become. I'm just not sure how it will go.

The thing is that my mother is very Christian. And she doesn't necessarily hate gay people, but she seems a little "grossed out" by them. It's confusing because we watch Modern Family and other shows with gay couples, but she complains that everybody seems to be "obsessed with the whole gay thing" (her exact words). And she doesn't support gay marraige. AND my older brother has used the word "faggot" several times and she has no problem with it.

So I feel like if I tell her, she won't take me seriously. Well, my best guess is that she would say that she still loves me and whatnot, but would say that she wishes I wouldn't go against God or something. Which would still hurt just as much. I just doubt that she'll be fully accepting.

Is it too early? Should I just let it slip in conversation and hope that she takes it well?

Well, if you're pretty okay with who you are, even if theres a chance your mother might not like that fact that you like girls, you should still be okay right? I mean, what's to lose if you told her? Whats to lose if you didn't, right?

But the way I see it.. She might not take it the right way. So just look at the pros and cons.

There's nothing you can do but straight up just tell her. There's no way or perfect timing that will make her take it any better. I think with the whole everyone is obsessed with it, is kinda right. I mean it's everywhere, i don't think she meant that line in a hurtful way. So id just tell her even though she's against it she doesn't seem mean or like a bad person about it like some look down on them. So best you can do is just tell her, and go from there.

Little white flowers will never awaken you, not when the cold depths have all but overtaken you.

Dearest, The days are all so long,
and in the shadows I spend them all.
My heart and I long for slumber.
Slumber I'm caressing you, I bless your touch, I lust for you.
Slumber you are not a dream, Not as much as you seem.
- Joao <3

1, Forget labeling yourself, you don't need to have a label. As long as you are ok with you are (which you are).
2. You have to just tell her, don't wait for it. Maybe she will come out to it better because you are her daughter. Tell her you are the same person you were yesterday, and if she loved you yesterday then she will love you today.

However you do have to give her time to get adjusted to the thought of it though.
I mean for parent's it's hard because they always picture how their child's life will be. Especially a daughter's wedding, her being able to teach you things about being a first time mom etc. Though you can still have those things it's a big time change and a totally different picture for your mom to accept and get used to.

Little white flowers will never awaken you, not when the cold depths have all but overtaken you.

Dearest, The days are all so long,
and in the shadows I spend them all.
My heart and I long for slumber.
Slumber I'm caressing you, I bless your touch, I lust for you.
Slumber you are not a dream, Not as much as you seem.
- Joao <3

Just as a quick note, I know many, many homosexual supporters who use the term "faggot" as an insult to people, usually only if they don't know if they are homosexual. While I too am confused by this, you can conclude therefore that your brother using the term "faggot" and your mother being ok with it probable won't increase her chances of rejecting you, at lease from my experience.

Now, I'm very happy to hear that you're deciding to tell your mother. I understand how these "bottled-up" emotions can feel, one of my closest friends was bisexual in a christian family (and he is dating guys). I remember when he told his parents he was bisexual (his sister too). They said that they still loved him, but pointed out that god didn't approve of "those actions". My point is that, from my experience, your assumption of her still loving you, but asking you not to go against god, seems somewhat accurate. If I were you, I would be prepaired for this. And assuming you don't want to get into a religious debate with your bother, I will spare you the details on how the modern church's conception of homosexuality being a terrible sin is bull-s**t.

So bottom line, it's your choice if you want to tell her or not. What my friend did was just site down with his mother and just blurt it out. Whatever way makes your comfortable, do that. In my opinion, the longer you wait, only the worse the bottled feelings can get, and the more you will wonder. Of course, you have to be ready when you tell your mother. It's your choice, nobody else can make it for you. Coming out of the lonely, dark closet is an intense experience that you must be ready for.

I hope this helps.

I'm pretty sure there's not as much hatrid and all for lesbians as there are gays. I don't know why. I guess if you're happy with who you are and proud too, tell your mom, and it's your choice to like girls, not hers. Lesbian couples are also really lovely

It's homosexuality in general, Ryan that is frowned upon.
Gay is used interchangeably in place of homosexuality because there are more gay men than lesbian women:

Source:

I agree with Ryan though, It's worse with gay guys then gay girls.

Little white flowers will never awaken you, not when the cold depths have all but overtaken you.

Dearest, The days are all so long,
and in the shadows I spend them all.
My heart and I long for slumber.
Slumber I'm caressing you, I bless your touch, I lust for you.
Slumber you are not a dream, Not as much as you seem.
- Joao <3

May as well just grit your teeth and do it, it make take some time for her to adjust, but if she truly loves you she will come round eventually