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Old Testament; God creates the universe and he sees it's serious buisness, but then Satan pretends to be a snake and trolls Eve, telling her "Apple of GTFO" (cuz she was already showing tits), She chooses the former and then she and her f*ck buddy Adam get banned from Eden for being trollbait. Then alot of serious incest occurs and we get the human race (which explains alot, really)
Then later God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the Jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it from behind him and killing the ancient Nazis. God lol'd.
Some other less important stuff happens, mostly composed of a bunch of idiots writing emo poetry about God for him to fap to.
New Testament; God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born, for his 13th birthday, God gave Jesus moar cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life.
Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school Jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had God mode turned on though, so he waited three days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server, and laughed at the Jews.
After that 3 more guys tell the same story, then this fag Paul wrote an assload of crap about sex being evil and a bunch of other crap that Jesus never said.
THE END.
The bible, /b/ explains it.
Last edited by Old Speckled Hen; 23-02-10 at 02:12 PM..
With Your Sliced Throat, Call Me Your Queen
Both the Dream-like Aching of My Wounds and the Severe Dripping of My Blood How Much More Time Until the Thoughtless Little Boys Become Men? The Eyes of Lust and Sadism Look Sadly at the Valley of Ecstasy, The Reflection of Happiness
An Explosion from the Core of My Body! It's at the Summit; There is no Escape! How Much More Time Until the Stupid Little Girls Become Women? With Your Cute Voice; Cry Out to Me, Your Elder Sister [erepublik.com]
With Your Sliced Throat, Call Me Your Queen
Both the Dream-like Aching of My Wounds and the Severe Dripping of My Blood How Much More Time Until the Thoughtless Little Boys Become Men? The Eyes of Lust and Sadism Look Sadly at the Valley of Ecstasy, The Reflection of Happiness
An Explosion from the Core of My Body! It's at the Summit; There is no Escape! How Much More Time Until the Stupid Little Girls Become Women? With Your Cute Voice; Cry Out to Me, Your Elder Sister [erepublik.com]
You don't mess with an Olympic Mascot. Not even /b/ has that much balls.
Besides... I'm immune to Anon. Wanna know why? I can change my identity in a heart beat.
I'll infiltrate their ranks and destroy them from the inside. /b/ knows I'm a force not to be reckoned with.
With Your Sliced Throat, Call Me Your Queen
Both the Dream-like Aching of My Wounds and the Severe Dripping of My Blood How Much More Time Until the Thoughtless Little Boys Become Men? The Eyes of Lust and Sadism Look Sadly at the Valley of Ecstasy, The Reflection of Happiness
An Explosion from the Core of My Body! It's at the Summit; There is no Escape! How Much More Time Until the Stupid Little Girls Become Women? With Your Cute Voice; Cry Out to Me, Your Elder Sister [erepublik.com]
Though you don't nee to be an Anon or /b/ to raid him.
With Your Sliced Throat, Call Me Your Queen
Both the Dream-like Aching of My Wounds and the Severe Dripping of My Blood How Much More Time Until the Thoughtless Little Boys Become Men? The Eyes of Lust and Sadism Look Sadly at the Valley of Ecstasy, The Reflection of Happiness
An Explosion from the Core of My Body! It's at the Summit; There is no Escape! How Much More Time Until the Stupid Little Girls Become Women? With Your Cute Voice; Cry Out to Me, Your Elder Sister [erepublik.com]
Today's Toppers
The bible according to /b/
