Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Though it's more of a great big long complaint... I'm not really mad or anything, just kinda sad.

Ok. So it all started with this: That's my dad's blog. I am not in the mood to talk about that right now.

Basically we have a sinkhole under our house. Right under the middle of the kitchen. Insurance refuses to pay, yadda yadda yadda, it's been almost three years. I'm sick of it. Read on his blog if you want the details.

So I went through a bout of depression during that whole deal. Not that I told anyone that I felt that way. If I did, my mom would have blown me off saying it was just a teenager thing. I'm sorry, but no.

So my older sister and I have been pretty much raising our younger siblings((ages 9 and 5 now)) for the past five years or so. The house that the hole opened up under needed a lot of work that mom and dad didn't really want to do in the first place. So we were babysitting((free of charge I might add.)) all through then, as well. So right now, what I'm pissed off about, is that my mom refuses to acknowledge the fact that I babysit, cook, clean, and manage to do my schoolwork. Yes, I am homeschooled. I hope that changes next year. I'd like a change. So, I make sure that the youngers get fed properly, that they do their school, that the dog gets to go out and relieve himself, etc. So all I'm looking for is a little appreciation. Is that really too much to ask? -.-

No, of course a little appreciation isn't too much to ask! But, what I think you'd really like in addition to that appreciation is some relief, some change.

A sink hole is a pretty major thing, and it sounds like it's really traumatized your family...along with all the problems it's caused and lack of responsiveness/responsibility of the insurance company. When really bad stuff happens, and continues to happen without any relief or end in sight, people sorta go into chronic shock, they shut down to protect themselves. So unless your folks are really oblivious and selfish (like, before the sink hole), then let's assume they're in chronic shock mode here.

Try talking with them, not so much about your need for (justified) appreciation, but what you see with them, the change over time that resulted from the sink hole. Maybe if you talk about them, what you see with them, instead of you, they might be able to recognize it and respond differently to it. When people lose perspective and sight of how stuff affects not just them, but their loved ones, they can make those changes. Try providing them with that mirror. Just don't be angry or accusatory.

Well thanks for your suggestions.. I'm just glad someone read it. =p Talking doesn't work so well with them though.. My dad's pretty cool about the whole thing, but I think my mom's in denial. =p

People deal with shock differently, denial is one way. If your dad recognizes the extent of the trauma on the family, maybe he can help you not only get a break here, but also help your mom come to terms with it and move on.

People survive calamity, but they first have to recognize it's affect on them, then work to minimize that. It's a family problem, helping your mom change her perspective. Work with your dad.