Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

So I'm probably going to get a torch up my ass for posting this. Or people will start arguing and turn it into a fight. Whichever is the case, I feel like something needs to be said.

There's been a lot fighting around here lately. I'm not referring to any thread in particular or any users in particular as this has been going on in several threads with several different users. So please don't call me out and say that I'm attacking someone in particular or pointing fingers, because I'm not. I'm just really sad to see everyone acting this way. This is supposed to be a place where people can feel safe expressing their views, yet it seems that every time I come on here, there's a heated debate going on because people are being disrespected and unfairly judged when they've simply expressed an opinion or asked for advice on a touchy situation. It wasn't like this at all when I first joined. Everyone got along pretty well, and most members were friendly to each other. When there was a disagreement, people agreed to disagree. And that's what would be expected of people in the real world, yet I'm seeing less and less of it here.

People are throwing caustic insults at one another simply because they disagree with other users. People are starting unnecessary fights and debates in forums that were made for advice, and instead of trying to resolve the issue peacefully, it always escalates into a heated dispute that results in people taking sides and attacking each other. I'm so tired of seeing this. If someone says something that bothers you, it doesn't mean you get to insult them and use the excuse that you have a right to your opinion. But at the same time, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and the fact that you happen to disagree with them doesn't mean that you have to take offense and treat it like a personal attack.

Again, I'm not pointing fingers, and I'm not trying to start a fight or be all Nazi-Kingergarten-Teacher, here. I realize there was already a thread like this, and someone will probably tell me to just talk to a moderator if I'm upset. But I want people to see this. I just feel like there needs to be a change in the way people are acting around here. If there's one thing that's really lacking, it's respect. I'm tired of all the patronizing, finger-pointing, insulting, attacking, and fighting. If I repeated some of the things that have been said to one of my teachers, I'd get a week's detention. This may be the internet, but there are still rules and boundaries. I think this is a great forum, honestly. I know that all of you are good people. But there's so much tension. Maybe I don't understand it since I haven't been involved in any of the real drama. But if there weren't a problem, this wouldn't be happening.

Point of this gigantic post? Something needs to change. That's all I have to say.

One more note: I will be seriously disappointed if people use this thread to vent about other users. Please. If someone is bothering you, you're more than welcome to express your frustration without calling them by name. I understand some people are really emotional about all the stuff that's been going on, and that's understandable. But please, I do NOT want this to become another pointless fight. Thanks for reading.

I agree with you. I agree on all counts, except one. I think you nailed it except for the debating aspect. There can be debate on advice- just not the caustic remarks. I agree with you, and I hope tha this can be carried out. Thank you

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

we are like a family.fight,debate,love,laugh,all bad and good things happening here.

But is the fighting really necessary?

Fighting keeps a relationship healthy, you know? Don't you argue with your friends? I do. Even with my best of friends. I use steriotypes, caustic words, etc. But at the end of the day, I still love them.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

In a good community, I think there has to be a certain amount of productive debating that has to occur. Otherwise, you have a community that is much less animated and fosters less diversity and critical thinking. I know you're not attacking debating itself but I think it should be made clear that disagreeing with one another and having a civil debate is not a bad thing by any means.
Other than that you do make some good points, although I have no reference since I've only been here for a few weeks. But yes, the caustic remarks get us nowhere, really.

Okay, I can see what you're getting at, there. But there's one thing missing: the making up part. If I saw some apologizing I probably wouldn't have posted this. But it's like people don't even care that they're hurting each other's feelings. That's what's bothering me. There's no respect. The debating that's been going on isn't civil at all, it's just people snapping at each other and being rude.

Sure, there has to be some debating and arguing for things to work; if someone bothers you, how are they going to know if you don't speak up? But the issue here is that when people speak up, there's no restraint. They just say whatever they feel like saying without thinking about how the other person is going to feel about it.

There's a big difference between fighting and having a civil debate. I can argue with someone without name-calling or patronizing.

I agree. But thats what you get when you geta bunch of people that can't debate with a bunch of hormones in a confined space. It cannot be addressed on a blanket lvel unless you have mass bannings, which isn't going to work. It has to be on a case by case level. Hence, mods.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

Not everyone can do that.

^ But where ARE the mods? Looking back through a lot of these fights, they've gone on for pages and pages without intervention from staff members. It's only when things have already spun out of control that it gets taken care of. I'm not saying the staff is being lazy or whatever, but if these threads aren't being taken care of, then maybe we need more mods.