What's this? A rant on my birthday. Not surprising given the fact nothing ever goes my way on my birthday.
I'm a fairly simple person. I don't need to go out and overly celebrate my birthday.
Even when I want to do that it usually doesn't end up happening anyway. Either way, i just don't like to go out and make a big deal out of it.
I'm perfectly content waiting until the Weekend rather than my actual birthday to do such things. Not for myself but because for whatever reason, people like spending time with me on my birthday.
Yeah well, let's add this to the approx. 14-15 times I've gotten hit, slapped, kicked, bitten, hair pulled, or otherwise had some violent conflict on my birthday.
It's been happening since my sister was about 2. I've never gone one fucking birthday without her getting violent with me! I'm sick of it! I don't do anything to fucking deserve it!
She gets all in my case about me not wanting to go out and celebrate tonight and claims I'm lying to restaurants by doing so on the weekend.
Then she gets right up in my face and I'm trying to be calm but I jerked forward just a little as I was about to say something and it startled me so I said "ah!" and of course she over reacts because I spooked her a little. Naturally she hits me every time I spook her just a little but she should really learn not to get so worked up over something like that.
And yesterday, fucking yesterday! Ugh, I forgot my meds so i was a little off the whole day. You know, tired, weak legs. Sometimes I just forget my meds so i can't help when my body reacts that way!
I'm a fucking Narcoleptic! Don't say you're gonna "beat me" for nodding off in public. I can't fucking help it! Sorry you were blessed with a relatively healthy body and I wasn't!
My Nanny tried to tell her otherwise because my Nanny pretty much has narcolepsy as well and she actually will and does go to sleep in public places and sometimes at the wheel.
Anyway, it's not my fucking fault I got the short end of the health stick.
But back on topic, I've
never liked doing anything over the top for my birthday. I tried to when i was younger and, big surprise, my sister ruined those too by being allowed to invite her friends over whereas during her parties I wasn't allowed to invite anyone over.
I just never liked big parties! Is that a fucking crime!? The biggest party I ever had as a teenager was inviting like 5-6 friends over to watch some Anime and movies. And then one stayed the night.
The next biggest one I had was inviting my best friend over to, guess what, watch some Anime and movies on our new big screen.
After that I've never really done anything special. But each and every single solitary year that bitch I'm forced to call my sister is constantly attempting to make a big deal out of my birthday. And not for me, no it's for her. She's the ones who likes parties and jumps at the chance for one.
I prefer to just watch a movie and eat some cake and celebrate with my family when they're able to. And I'm talking like my Aunts, Uncles, cousins, etc.
My sister insists it's just an immediate family thing but people like to fucking come my birthday celebrations. Why? Because they get fucking steak and potatoes.
We go the same damn place every year for my birthday. It's probably not going to change any time soon. Not my fault you always pick places no one wants to fucking go to and is incredibly expensive.
Point is, I'm sick and tired of having to put up with my sisters constant abuse over nothing! Stop fucking slapping me and hitting me just because
my birthday doesn't go
your way! I don't like big parties, I don't like wasting money or having people waste money on me when I'm not going to enjoy it or when I'm just going to keep to myself anyway!
Ugh! It's honestly even more pathetic now that I'm 19 considering my sister is 16. Then again, I'm rather small and built with a small frame whereas she takes after the rest of our family and it taller than me and has a large frame (btw, she thinks that means I'm calling her "fat").
That's another thing! She insults me about my hair, weight, skin, voice, how fast my hair grows, my boobs, every single fucking thing about me - she finds a way to insult it. Meanwhile, if I even dare say that there might be the very low low low possibility that there is something she can improve on but isn't necessarily a bad thing... well she thinks I'm calling her fat, will yell and scream at me, probably throw something heavy at me (or food), and if that doesn't work, she'll slap me, punch me, take something i love and break it (I should probably go put my newly made Elfen Lied horns up) or do something to otherwise hurt me.
I would say that it all really fucking hurts. But I've gotten used to it by now. She's been screwing up my life whenever people pay more attention to me than her. I'm not allowed to do anything without her unless she doesn't want to do it. I've missed out on modeling opportunities because people wanted me and just me but my mother always asked what about my sister, and that turns people away from having me do anything.
If she's not abusing me in some way then she's clinging to me like she's attached to the umbilical cord (she's like that with my mother two). This has lead to more than one occasion of me being accused of being an in-denial Lesbian as me and my sister look and sound nothing alike. I look like my mom, she looks like my dad. End of story. I inherited my dads intelligence and my mothers cool and calm personality. My sister inherited my mothers emotionalness and my fathers hot-headed blood-boiling temper and stubborn personality.
We're nothing alike. She's clingy. It's only natural people make that assumption. Because I'm always trying to get her off me and she'll always cause a fucking scene in public.
There's more. Everything i do, she has a problem with. It's always been like that. Always.
If it wasn't for the fact that I can't fucking take care of myself then I would have been out of this house a long time ago. But she'd like that so I'm gonna stick around and torment her with my existence until she moves the fuck out. At least I can live with my parents and go undetected for days if need be and stay the fuck out of their way. My sister needs constant attention though. That's why she couldn't last a day on her own. No people.
She's a fucking bitch, it's never going to change. And people always wonder why I want to get married so soon in life. I want to fuck away from her in which she won't attempt to move in with me at some point. Sadly, finding a man is the only way to do that. Plus it's security. Pfft, like I'll ever find a guy. That's another thing! When a guy is looking at me, she thinks he's looking at her.
Hardly. I never notice until she points it out. Generally as soon as I look up the guy turns away and looks back when I turn away. Is she stupid or just lying to herself? I know guys look at me, that's why I dress the way I do - to discourage it. If a guy is looking at me when I dress like this, he probably has questionable tastes... now if only he had the balls to act on it, I might consider saying yes.
And that's another thing! Am I just so threatening or disturbed that no man has the backbone to come and talk to me?! Well, some have the balls but that's more like being too stupid to see clear danger rather than seeing the danger and being brave enough to approach.
Am I really that scary? Only stupid men approach me you know. It's kind of tiring.
Then again, only stupid men approach her as well. But she comes off as being easy, even if she isn't (I hope).
Also whenever i mention that a guy might actually be looking at me she gets this look and says "why? you're fat". Which isn't really untrue. That's another reason i wear what I do - it shows my boobs are big but doesn't show my fat because my boobs stick out further than my stomach.
It should be noted my sister is a little flat-chested and I'm... well... not. Sorry i inherited that from Daddy's side of the family plus from our Nanny. Not my fault you happened to get that part of our mothers genetic code. That being said, she's getting better about being insulted by that. I sometimes joke that she hasn't gone through puberty yet or that it's just now happening.
Point is, she's an ignorant bitch who doesn't listen to reason, is intrusive, overly-emotional, stubborn, violent, and all around has no real redeeming qualities. She's not nice, she's not helpful, she claims to care about others but does nothing to help (I'm the exact opposite), and she's abusive too boot.
I'm sick and tired of it. @
Kirk, get your ass to America now and marry me already. Seriously.
Stupid bitch, it's my birthday, I can celebrate how I want. I don't like people celebrating it for me and me not having any fun. It's miserable and they think I'm crazy for not having their brand of fun. Fun for me is being left alone until meal times.
Today's Toppers
Stupid little...
