Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

You have been warned.

Lately I haven’t exactly been the happiest of people. In fact I’ve been extremely angry at just about everything, which if you know me well enough you’d know is a direct contrast to my usual behaviour. I just feel as if the world is against me, and I’m finding it a little difficult to cope at the moment.

For starters; being at home all the time is beginning to take its toll on me. Okay, sure, I was pretty much at home most of my spare time anyway when I was at school and college, but at ‘least I got out-and-about. I don’t like the feeling of being lazy, but when I’ve honestly got nothing to do what choice do I have? I’ve been looking for jobs like mad and there’s very little I’m qualified for; that coupled with my lack of experience and it just makes finding one even more difficult. I’m the sort of people who will go out and do what he wants to do; I’m not afraid of making changes to my life in order to get what I want, and I’m certainly not the person to expect things to be just handed to me – the problem is I just haven’t got a clue what I want or how I’d even go about getting it. I absolutely fucking hate it when people tell me to "try harder" or tell me I'm not doing anything, because I fucking am. The other day I had some cheeky git I knew at college, whom without me would have struggled to pass our course, laugh at me and tell me I need to try harder to get a job. Needless to say I was very angry at that.

Another thing that has been bothering me is my family. My mum is constantly upset because she believes that the problems we’re facing are A) Her fault and B) The work of the devil, and my dad is being increasingly depressive, moody and careless. Not only that, but my relationship with my father has become very difficult to maintain since I find it extremely difficult to tolerate his narrow-minded, judgemental, prejudiced and racist behaviour, ESPECIALY when he talks to my brother with this mindset and ESPECIALLY when he treats me as if I’m an idiot for disagreeing with him. Another thing that bothers me is his spontaneous attitude towards life; he keeps spending money on things that we do not need, without informing the rest of the family first; every time we become better off financially he decides to make a big investment into something that is of no benefit to us – first a villa in Turkey, then some land in Turkey, and now a bloody motor home. I admire his determination to establish a better life for us all, but unfortunately we’ve yet to see any of the aforementioned pay-off in any way, shape or form.

Yet another thing that’s bothering me, which has only come to fruition today, is holidays. As you’d expect, my whole family wishes to go away aboard this year, and the opportunity has arisen due to cheap flights being available for next week. Unfortunately, my mum is unavailable to go since she has to look after my grandmother, so as you can imagine it has caused a lot of stress within the family due to not being able to go away together. Even more unfortunate is the fact that I don’t wish to go away, which has not only upset my brother but has no doubt disappointed my father as well. The reasons I don’t want to go are because A) I’m not exactly on good terms with my father, B) I’d rather save the cash, and C) Every time I go on holiday I don’t enjoy myself as much as I’d like, and I always feel very lonely because all the time I see young couples/groups of people my age walking around and it just reminds me of everything I’ve missed out on as a teenager.

Which brings me to another point; my social life. It’s not secret on here that I don’t have one, but at ‘least in the past I always had 1 or 2 “friends” to be around with. With college having ended, I literally have no one, and I am constantly reminded of my lack of social life when I witness all the status updates and uploaded photos the oh-so-lovely Facebook decides to share in my newsfeed. It’s not that I want to hang around with these particular people, but it makes me wonder why I was never considered a good enough friend to warrant hanging around with them and being invited to places. It just seems to me that the only time I get messaged by old real life “friends” is if they require my assistance, at which point now I just outright refuse. Now, I’d go out and make new friends, but this goes back to the problem of me having nothing to do, and having no opportunities available to me. I know I have friends on the internet, but they are few-and-far between and there’s only one or two people I know who I actually have a connection with and can be myself around. It’s depressing, quite frankly. All I want is a small group of friends that I can hang around and have fun with, but whenever I do meet new people I just never seem to fit in. I’d just like to be able to experience a young adult life; meet new friends, visit new places, perhaps even meet a girl – just in general have fun. Is it really much to ask considering all I’ve been through? I know I ain't exactly the most interesting of individuals, but it just wouldn't hurt for people to finally give me a chance at a normal life.

Now the slightly more positive aspect of my thread:-

I’m thinking of doing a BTEC National Diploma in Health & Social care. I didn’t want to go back into education because to be quite honest with you all I’m sick of being a student, but with having no job and with my interest in IT fading rapidly, I just feel as if I have no choice but to seek out my options in the only other interest I have – helping people. I just fear that I end up doing another two year college course where I don’t fit in with the students, resulting in me feeling more down about myself; heck, I’m not sure I even have a chance at it yet considering courses start in September, but at ‘least it’s worth a try. I also fear this decision may not be the best for me, because I honestly have no idea about the subject and am not 100% sure I’d be capable of doing anything career-wise along these lines.

So yeah, super-massive-mega rant. Kudos to those of you who actually read through it all, and even bigger kudos to any of you that actually takes the time to reply.

Your the male version of me.
:|

That's it. Booking our concert and cinema tickets ;) Now.

I have no idea what advice to give or how to offer help :( I hope you find happines Kirkington, I really do. <3
I'm sure you'll meet girls up to your standard ;D and people you relate too ^^ There's other awesome people out there I'm sure ;D

About your course, you could also do an apprenticeship in that field as well - You basically get the qualification on the job. Prettay awesome!

No, you're the female version of me! You copied me!

Wait...Is that a good or a bad thing?

Oh. Fucking. Yes.

Hopefully. Like I said; I've already met one or two people I get on really well with, so it's not as if I'm completely lonely. Still it wouldn't hurt to have a few more friends.

Indeed I could, so it's certainly worth considering. I can't help though that getting the qualification at college would put me into contact with more people my own age...that's assuming I make any friends there at all.

Still, I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing yet.

Yeah indeed, but now-a-days Experience is everything :/ There's lots of people with degrees even, but rendered unable too find a job due too lack of experience, hence why I jumped at the chance for my apprenticeship I'm due too start next year.

I forgot to mention; the course gives me several work placements as well, so experience would be covered.

But I do understand mate, so I will certainly bear that in mind. Thank you!

I'm sorry you're unhappy, Kirk, and I hope you do find something soon to help you not think of things so much. I can tell you that work is a really good way to meet people and establish connections, so good luck on that front!

Life sucks, and then we die

But in all seriousness, I'm sorry to hear about your plight- have you considered getting off of Facebook as not to be teased by all of these photos/status updates of your "friends"? Going back to get a degree, or whatever the English equivalent, in health sounds like a great idea Kirk.

On the subject of your folks, these are hard times. Your father is doing what most Americans did pre-recession: spend, spend, spend, with no money to back up the buck. However, though he is making all of these lucrative purchases, they are to make him feel wealthy; this worldwide recession has taken its toll on all of our mentalities. His racism is unacceptable, but old habits die hard. I would discuss with your brother why these views are not alright in modern day.

All in all, you're a good man, Kirk. Good things happen to good people. I would join a club whilst job searching; networking helps people find work all of the time.

Best of luck, and though we aren't mega close, if you ever need to vent or just want to chat, drop me a line.

"A toothache, or a violent passion, is not necessarily diminished by our knowledge of its causes, its character, its importance or insignificance".- T.S. Eliot

Essentially, what I want to say is summed up in 50 seconds of this video
I understand how you feel. It's very hard, they say that your teenage years are the hardest you'll ever go through. That's because it's your journey of self discovery, and in that journey you get confused, and lost, and change your mind a thousand times, and you get bored which makes you depressed, and you get stressed because there is too much going on. Life goes too fast, life goes too slow. It's like learning to drive a car, or learning to do anything in general, the first few moments are hard and messy and all over the place. It seems to me that all these years of abuse and neglection has really made a knock on your confidence and you are now getting frustrated with that. You are asking yourself, why can't I have those things? Why aren't I getting those things? Am I not good enough? I help people and I recieve nothing in return. You are a very good person Kirk, but you are still very young. You say that you are trying hard, and it's not about trying harder, it's about trying the right things. Being a doormat for your friends won't make you 'good enough to go and hang out with them', it's not about that at all. People only ask out the people who are outgoing and social and friendly, because they seem interested and (because I am one of these outcasts too) not the people who are smart and quiet and reserved, those people get left behind only because they guard themselves and give that impression to others which intimidates them. It's not that you aren't good enough, it's that they have the impression that you are not interested. People respond to your output, and it probably has taken you this long (which is normal) to arrive at the cross roads of your life and review the path you've been taking, the output you've been giving to people. And maybe this is where you are going wrong, the way you precieve things or cope with things, just your outlook on life, maybe that is what is holding you back. But that is the point of your teenage years, we get to dead ends and we make new paths until we learn to steer the car, or balance while we ride the bike. It's not your fault, no one came into this life prepared. Not I or anyone else, and it's perfectly normal to feel the way you do. Having nothing to do gives you a lot of time to think, and you feel like you're just stuck on pause and all you have in front of you are the insults and the put downs. You know what? Fuck it. Fuck the insults, fuck the people. Plainly, if you want to get that, you will have to go out and get it. If you don't have experience, get experience, if you don't have the qualifications, get the qualifications. The only person who is bringing you down, is you. You are your own problem, and you are your own solution. There is a quote that goes "the only difference between fear and excitement, is your attitude towards it." It's your attitude that it holding you back, I know it hurts but you have to stop caring about what your father says, or the people at college. You are wasting your life caring about what they think when we all know that everyone has different opinions. And by caring about it so much, you keep giving them what they want and in turn creating a vicious cycle. Stop it now, this is the time to evaluate your life and make decisions. Ask yourself what you want in 5 years time, tell yourself how to get it, and forget about all the things in between that. In the end of the day, the world won't end if you have to do another 2 year college course, and if you don't because of 'other people making you feel left out', that is your problem, not theirs. It's not the world that can change, it is us that we have to adapt. Fuck them, go to college anyway and focus on the good things. If you can't do that, it is because you are not letting yourself, not because of him or her or anybody.

I wish you the best of luck, I know this is a stormy time and I hope I didn't come off rude because I went through it myself and it was this kind of wake up call that helped me too. Before you reply to anything, take the time to think about it and please don't be stubborn. It is you who has the key to the new doors, don't just look into the keyhole and decide it isn't for you, because everything looks different from there than inside.

Every line on your face
Makes a beautiful maze
For my eyes to trace~