Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

...That I'm a lesbian? I mean, really. When did I even imply that at all?

I'm too tired to go into a full-out rant but basically I got into a conversation about penis size (yeah, don't ask) and I said it didn't matter because I wasn't interested.
The chick I was talking to responded with a "are you gay? that's nice too". Not an actual question, just an assumption.

Why is it that's the first conclusion people jump to? I mean really, most people at least have the decency to ask "why not" before assuming that.

Not just her either, I get asked if I'm a lesbian by a lot of people. That would... that would also probably explain why women tend to hit on me when I go out sometimes. Funny, dress to not attract the attention of men, end up attracting women instead. I guess this means I won't be cutting my hair shorter now (because yes, after I cut it the last time I got hit on by more women).


Just why? Why do people jump to that conclusion? Even before I tell them I'm not interested sexually in men (or women) they just assume that about me.

I get rather sick of it actually. I'm not a lesbian, I'm not bisexual, I'm not heterosexual, I won't do anything with a pulse, I probably wouldn't do anything without a pulse either, no I'm not into inflatable dolls, no I'm not a pedophile (yes, I have gotten this), no I more than likely wouldn't let an animal fuck me, as a matter of fact I'm totally Asexual... and for whatever reason, this is more shocking than most of the above.

But no one seems to get this. It's either I'm a lesbian, one of the above, or a "late bloomer".

Geez, why do people treat my lack of sexuality as such a big deal? It's not that important. It's not like I'm not gonna get married or have kids. Oh, that'll happen. Even if I have to blackmail someone for it to happen. I will get married and I will have children. So it'll be a little harder for me, big deal.

People need to get a life.

I just wanted to tell you that I feel your pain. I get asked if I'm a lesbian all the time because of my lack of a boyfriend. It doesn't help that my oldest brother is gay and my sister's a lesbian. Then, when I try to explain that I'm asexual, they're like WTF? Huh? Really? WHYYYYY? OMG!

[Dani]elle - Head of the Teen Forumz Mentor Program

^ That situation is almost hilarious when you think about it. Your siblings I mean. XD
But yeah, I hate it when people flip out over it.

Hahaha, yeah. It's like hey, let's go down the list and see how many forms of sexuality we have. We have a lesbian, a gay (who hasn't yet come out, although we all know that he is), a straight, and then an asexual! How nice!

Does your family ever question you about it? Mine is the worst about it!

[Dani]elle - Head of the Teen Forumz Mentor Program

My dad thinks I'm a late bloomer, although I can understand why he'd think that because he was sort of one himself. He never liked anyone annoying, even if they were good looking. Something about being surrounded by giggling girls all the time. But anyway according to him, and my family, my mother was the first woman he ever showed a realistic interest in. And his father was like that too. No mention of ever liking anyone (and he worked on an oil rig with a bunch of men who talked about women constantly) and then his coworkers nearly died from shock hearing that he suddenly got married.

So I can at least understand why he thinks that. Not that he really care at this point, he's just happy I'm not going out having sex with random people or getting knocked up. He doesn't have to worry about me, so he doesn't care.

But my mother on the other hand, well she just doesn't get it. I've tried explaining it to her but she insists I just haven't met the right guy yet. That may or may not be true. But even if it was then that doesn't mean I'm heterosexual, as in having an attraction to the opposite sex based on material things such as looks. Which is all sexual attraction really is. I've tried explaining that if I'm sexually attracted to someone after getting to know them, but felt nothing sexual for them before then I'd be demi-sexual. It's not out of the realm of possibility either.

Still, she doesn't seem to get that I have no sexual interest in anyone, at all. She also seems to think that because I'm like this that I'll never get married and have children. Or end up unhappy or some nonsense like that.
Keep in mind, this is coming from a woman who changes her mind about things as it suits her. When I was growing up, it was always no sex before marriage, then about a year ago she said that was unrealistic and just to wait until we were adults and a bunch of other stuff... but now it's suddenly no sex before marriage again. Except as soon as I say that for me, i don't even want it, let alone before marriage she just tells me that's unrealistic.

...Although this was during a time when me and my sister found out she had sex with some guy who left her, quite literally, right after they had sex. And yet she claims talking about masturbation is awkward and hard for her because of her upbringing. And yet sleeping with a guy you hardly know is perfectly acceptable... yeah, this is why I listened to my father for most of my moral upbringing. Because my mom can't pick something and stick to it. I love her, but damn.

And she doesn't even realize she's doing this. Honestly, i think her mind might be going a little. Still, this is probably one thing she wont change her mind on. At least she just wants me to be happy. Unlike my sister, who just gives me a weird look and tells me I'm going to end up old, alone, miserable, with no children, no one to love or to love me, and be living with a bunch of animals and one day get raided by animal control.

...All because I don't like sex. Yup, because that's a perfect flow of logic!

So basically, my dad doesn't care because it's nothing to worry about, my mother just doesn't understand but her intentions are good, and my sister is an evil viper who thinks everything revolves around sex and relationships based purely on physical attraction and nothing more.

I never thought you were a lesbian, I'm sure you would have made it clear if you were so there's no need to assume.

I'll admit I'd never heard of asexualism until I came to Teen Forumz but it really isn't that difficult to understand. Some people probably just can't imagine not having sexual desire.

People seem to be getting the impression that if you can't be sexually attracted to someone then you can't love them. That seems like a load of rubbish to me. Two asexuals could live a happy life together without sex...
I suppose all you can keep doing is trying to explain and eventually they'll get it.

Wow , all your posts used to be Huge , so i was too lazy to read em , this one was Shorter.. so i decided to read it , You dont know me , neither do i .... But if you wish you can PM me , and we can talk

People have lots of complex , They think that If your not the same as them , and you are different , means that you are a Freak.. That really sucks

In Greece , The Word "Gay" is a "Swear" .... my voice was very light when i was younger ( Now people say im 30 years old according to voice lol!)...and i had only girl as friends , so evryone used to call me Gay :/

Yeah well , If you wish we can talk