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My dad is being an asshole. Last night he made fun of me for having stomach problems and diarrhea. Who the hell makes fun of their kid for having diarrhea? I stormed off and that really pissed him off and he got really angry so I just hid in my room. Later he came in, when I told him not to, and said in a really hostile voice, "I'm sorry, okay?" That just pissed me off more; no apology is better than forced, assholish one.

This morning he was trying to be sympathetic and defuse the arguement. I groaned when I learned it wasn't Saturday (I was tired and confused) and muttered, "I wish I didn't have to go to school." He asked what was wrong so, since he asked, I decided to tell him. Because he was an asshole this really pissed him off, and midsentence he interrupted me and yelled at me, "BUCK UP!" he a really angry and weird way. I stuttered and said, "Sorry, I guess I'm just in a bad mood, sorry." That made him angrier. He just scowled at me and left.

I refused to talk to him the rest of the morning (which was about 30 minutes) because I didn't want him to get really pissed again. Then he started doing the sympathetic thing again when he dropped my off at school. As he dropped me off he tried to say, "Have a good day" but I was too pissed at him to respond and just slammed the door and ran off inside.

And now he's doing the sympathetic, nice thing again but I'm trying to avoid him because I'll probably do the tiniest thing to annoy him and he'll get set off again and start yelling at me or making fun of me or just looking at me angrily and storm off. Aargh.

So, that's my rant. Its probably poorly written cause I'm too angry to edit it.

You both are just being rather stubborn, to be honest. Seems like you both get pissed off too easily over misunderstandings.
He's trying to be nice, just be nice back. At least he's trying, that counts for something.

But really, even when he makes fun of you I'd try not to take it too personally, just shrug it off. If he wants to be a jerk to his kid then just ignore it. My parents are jerks to me all the time, I usually just throw something back right at them and then we pretend it never happened.
Pretending things never happened seem to work surprisingly well.

Basically, what I'm saying is, if you get over it then he probably will too. Act like it doesn't matter and carry on.

By the way, I'm not saying it's your fault or anything. I'm just saying someone has got to be the more mature one, otherwise it's just a never ending cycle of both of you pissing each other off.

I'll admit you have a point; if one of us doesn't stop being stubborn this will continue. However, I don't want to suddenly start being nice to him again without him apologizing for being a jerkass or at least acknowledging that he shouldn't have done that.

Also, the reason the stomach thing got to me so much was because I was already feeling really bad and I was asking if I could take some anti-diarrhea pill thingy, then he started making fun of me for having diarrhea. And all I did was leave when he did that. I forced myself to not yell or talk back or anything. But leaving still really pissed him off.

EDIT: I just realized at one point I did apologize. When he yelled "BUCK UP!" at me for some bizarre reason I said I was sorry twice and he was still angry.