Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

So I hear a common thing on this BDSM-oriented site is for some Doms to message a sub and refer to them as "little one" or "little girl" or some other term of 'endearment' and that it's perfectly innocent and whatnot.

Well that's all fine and good. You can call me 'Goddess of the Universe and Everything in it' right off the bat if you wanted to. Wanna know something? I'd still take it as an insult.

And, before i go any further, it's not just on that site either.

What I'm pissed at are terms of endearment in general. It's one thing if I give you permission to call me a pet name, another thing if you call me that right off the bat as if I'm some sort of inferior being to you or something.

Now, if I know you in person and you call everyone "sugar" or something then I can sorta deal with that. But generally I find this is more a verbal tic than anything. You don't need to call anyone by any sort of name online. Unless it's to get their attention, then you can call them by a name that's preferably not demeaning.


Like, for example, when you quote one of my fucking posts there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to start off with:
"Marionetta, ...", "Rachel, ...", "Ray, ..." "Dear, ...", "Hun, ...", or anything of the sort. You quoted my fucking post, I know who the fuck you're talking to, I know who the fuck I am. There's no reason to type it as if you're a mother talking down to your child.

It's rather condescending actually.

Just for the record, I hate, more-so than I can describe, being called by a nick name or my birth name if I didn't give you permission to do so. As far as any of you are concerned, I am not "Ray", I am not "Rachel", I am "Marionetta" or "Marietta" for those of you who have known me longer.

And over PM, that's even more annoying. There's no need to call me any sort of name over PM, unless you happen to be insulting me of course. There's no reason to call me even by my screen name. You sent me the PM, I know who i am, there's no need to write in a way as if you're trying to get my attention while we are in a crowd or something. I know you're talking to me, so don't bother wrting my name.


I generally tolerate this sort of shit but I absolutely can't take it anymore. Don't call me hun, honey, sugar, little girl, little one, baby, Ray, Rachel, or any other sort of condescending pet name that would make me seem younger than I actually am.

I will, however, tolerate the term "girl" as I use both that and "boy" all the time. But, to be frank, that's because I'm basing it off gender rather than age. I'm a girl, my cousins are boys, so on and so forth. I say it based on gender and I generally don't use it unless I'm playing around anyway. Still, "girl" is the only thing I'll tolerate from anyone that you can use without my permission.

Long story short, unless I've given you permission to call me either Ray or Rachel, don't get ahead of yourself and start calling me by either of those names when you don't know me like that. Using my birth name is a right you have to fucking earn. That's why I never told anyone what it was for the longest time. Not that I have a problem with my name, i just hate people using it - esp. since the times people use it the most is when they're talking to me like I'm a child.


As for annoying little terms of endearment... they're insulting. I don't care how you mean it to be, it's insulting to me. Generally it's used when people are disagreeing with what I'm saying in the first place so it really seems like you're saying it to discredit me by convincing yourself I'm a know-nothing child, of which I'm not.

Point is, don't fucking call me anything when quoting what I'm fucking saying. Or if you're using the @ thing then that's fine, because that's the same as quoting, or it's just to let me know you replied.
But if you're talking directly to me, or quoting me, there's no reason to say my screen name, or any other name. I know who you're talking to. No need to tell me who I am. Unless you happen to think I'm that retarded, in which case I won't even begin to take your petty ass seriously.


Basically, I'm Marionetta or Marietta. Unless I give you permission to call me by my nick name, pet name, or real name you shouldn't assume you have the right to call me anything but what i intentionally decided to be called. Although because my screen name is a little long, I can cut you some slack if you call me Ray. That being said, I'm thinking of changing my screen name soon anyway.

However, under no circumstances will I ever like someone calling me by my real name. Unless, of course, you're special enough to earn the honor of me liking you that much. Currently, I only let two people call me by my birth name. One just doesn't and the other sometimes does.


And yes, I'm a bitch. A bitch who overreacts to little things like this. I already know this and it's obvious I'm a bitch. However, I didn't put just any ol' name for my screen name. If I wanted to be called by nick name or real name then I wouldn't have picked a screen name to go by.

I don't see the big deal, I call guys names when i talk to them. But I do guess it's personal preference, sucks for the guys whom i do it to and they don't like it. However, i despise it when same sex calls innocent names. it's just weird.

Little white flowers will never awaken you, not when the cold depths have all but overtaken you.

Dearest, The days are all so long,
and in the shadows I spend them all.
My heart and I long for slumber.
Slumber I'm caressing you, I bless your touch, I lust for you.
Slumber you are not a dream, Not as much as you seem.
- Joao <3

If that was in any way directed at me, I'm sorry. I did call you Rachel once and I responded to your last rant screen name first.

It was not my intention to talk down to you, it's just habit.

[Dani]elle - Head of the Teen Forumz Mentor Program

Oh no, to toward you or anyone in particular. If it had been, I would have just said it right to you.
There's a difference in what I was talking about and the way you worded it with my screen name. Yours was more sympathetic than condescending. Like when my mother sometimes says "aww, poor baby" and then hugs me when, yeah, I am a poor baby. So it's just different when it's sympathetic in nature.

But if it's not meant to be like a situation where your mother or someone else would be comforting you, then it would've been meant to piss you off...which it does.. lol

Little white flowers will never awaken you, not when the cold depths have all but overtaken you.

Dearest, The days are all so long,
and in the shadows I spend them all.
My heart and I long for slumber.
Slumber I'm caressing you, I bless your touch, I lust for you.
Slumber you are not a dream, Not as much as you seem.
- Joao <3

That's good to know! I understand that, too, about people being condescending and talking down to others. My boss does it to me frequently and she's younger than I am!

What do you generally say back to someone who talks down to you?

[Dani]elle - Head of the Teen Forumz Mentor Program

Not necessarily. It's just a trick to play on yourself really. By condescending them you're kinda discrediting them in your own mind so that you can write off anything they say as being childish and not worth listening to.
So it's not necessarily meant to piss me off, it's just a way for people to convince themselves that I don't know what I'm talking about. Almost like a superiority complex. What's the best way to feel superior to other people? Talk and treat them like they are inferior to you.

I don't get pissed at them because they're meant to piss me off. I get pissed at them because the people using them want to pass me off as childish. It's also like when people insult you while trying to make a counter-argument then claim they're the more mature one. Or it's also like passive-aggressiveness. They're saying an endearment but really they mean "oh you brainless ignorant little twerp, you're just a child so you clearly have no idea what you're talking about and you're only a child because you hold that opinion and I'm an adult and more mature because my opinion is my opinion".

So yeah, it's just a trick people use on themselves to make themselves seem like they're right by default by discrediting you on the premise of "you're a child, I'm not, ergo, I'm right, you're wrong".

I generally either call them out on it, tell them to not call me those names, or I reply back to them in the same manor, just more often (as in every other sentence) and I make sure to throw in my own personal forms of endearment... which include references to an ass-fucking-donkey (get it? it's a joke). I put them rather bluntly as well.
But generally I just use the same words, some other words, and I use them more often to make a point. And then references to babies and their mothers are usually made at some point.

I dislike passive-aggressive behavior. I grew up around it and let me tell you that it really sucks to have someone covertly insult you on a daily fucking basis.
But because of that, I know when I'm being insulted. Thanks mom, thanks dad, thanks sis, thanks nanny, thanks aunty. Most people on my mothers side are passive-aggressive. My dad is either passive-aggressive, or just aggressive. My mom is passive-aggressive, plus assertive. My sister is passive-aggressive. My nanny is passive-aggressive, assertive, passive. One of my aunts is passive-aggressive and pretty much is the definition of the term. Meanwhile, I'm just passive.

Still, I grew up around passive-aggressive people. Just because a word itself is endearing doesn't mean it was used to be endearing.

I guess... I haven't come across very many people like that.. I think a lot of the time it's in that person's head rather then the other person, I know what you mean about people talking like that, I really do. but a lot of the time it is in the person's head... don't kill me.

Little white flowers will never awaken you, not when the cold depths have all but overtaken you.

Dearest, The days are all so long,
and in the shadows I spend them all.
My heart and I long for slumber.
Slumber I'm caressing you, I bless your touch, I lust for you.
Slumber you are not a dream, Not as much as you seem.
- Joao <3

What do you mean by 'in the persons head'?
How uncharacteristic of you, why would I kill you?

Like, I think it's just your personality isn't one to go good with something like someone calling you pet names. With how dominating you are, and then someone talks to you like that it's uncomfortable which makes you even more dominating, and because of your life of people thinking you as weird or bullying you, put two and two together, and in your head, it more often then not comes across to you like they're being condescending when they're really not. Now don't get me wrong, some people do talk like that in a condescending way, just maybe not as often as you think. Even I often get confused and have to think on which way someone said it to me.

Little white flowers will never awaken you, not when the cold depths have all but overtaken you.

Dearest, The days are all so long,
and in the shadows I spend them all.
My heart and I long for slumber.
Slumber I'm caressing you, I bless your touch, I lust for you.
Slumber you are not a dream, Not as much as you seem.
- Joao <3