I'm sad today - and since it's easier to tackle being angry than being sad, i'm angry.
I'm angry at my boyfriend. He's slightly dyslexic, so it's uncomfortable for him to write - however not impossible. He's a great speller - a greater speller than my ex, who wasn't dyslexic. Yet, i can't get my boyfriend to write to me. I can't get him to say any-fucking-thing. In real life he's the most talkative person i know - why can't he just take 5% of his talkative real him and put in to his url-him? Cause we live so far from each other, sometimes we can go for weeks without seeing each other. When i write to him, he's only writing like.. one word or smiley back. ARRRH. I really really want to talk to him, but i feel like if i'm criticizing him and telling him to talk more to me (which i have done many times, with no effect at all) I feel like i'm making fun or don't take care of his 'handicap'. Like, take your fucking time and write to your girlfriend who adores you and miss you like hell - don't just answer anything with 'okay' and
I'm angry at the doctor. He couldn't even remember what he had said the appointment before. He didn't write that i have like severe pain in the back - even through that's the problem now, not my neck as he want it to be
I'm angry at my iphone, that it had to die just before i really really needed it. I have to have a ugly old nokia (like almost without colors).
I'm angry at my ex. He pocket-called me like 10 times - desperate much?? The fact that he even saved my number after 19 months disgusted me. I hate the fact that I had your number and our text messages in my reserve mobile i'm using.... Cause i fucking miss how much we wrote to each other - day and night. And the fact that my boyfriend doesn't write to me now, makes me miss it even more. He was the biggest jerk, so i hate myself for missing the time with him.
I'm angry at my dad. The fact that he lets his depression affect christmas make me hates him even more...
I'm angry at myself - for being such a hypocrite. For feeling so much sorry for myself. I don't want too, i swear.