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The Official Rant Room Having a rough day? Blow off some steam in this forum.

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Old 12-12-11, 11:38 AM   #1
R.I.P Shiloh. ♥
 
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Default I'm not ready.

I know my dad is trying to help me but he needs to understand that this is the first time I've lost someone so dear to me and I still cry every night because I miss him. Anything anyone says doesn't make it better but as my therapist said, it takes time and it's only time that can help heal this wound.

I lost my friend in november and you all probably know about it as John posted his story on this forum. It's been over 6weeks and I miss him so much.

This is what my dad sent me on fb - Hi Ames it's time to change your profile picture back to yours. May your friend RIP. Time to turn the page but not to forget those that are dear to us. He will understand, we all need to keep moving forwards with our lives! Dad x

-- I know he cares but I'm not ready and I won't be for a while. I still need that picture of Shiloh there to remind me that he was so important to me and that there's still a piece of him inside of my heart that'll never go away. I'm posting here because I'm angry/upset that my dad just doesn't understand that it takes time.

I thought he would understand as he lost someone in summer but I guess not....

There's so many people pushing me to move on but I'm not ready and it just makes me so damn angry.








R.I.P Shiloh Moore, I love you and miss you.<3
~~~~~~
23.3.2013
Walid Khaled Abuzaid<3

Last edited by Amyy-; 12-12-11 at 11:41 AM..
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Old 12-12-11, 11:53 AM   #2
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Default Re: I'm not ready.

Everyone heals at different paces. Some people are able to accept that they need to move on quicker than others. Maybe your dad doesn't understand it but just ignore the people pushing you to move on. You'll move on when you can, no need to rush.

Anyways, RIP Shiloh. I'm sure he was an amazing guy.
<3








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Old 12-12-11, 12:28 PM   #3
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Default Re: I'm not ready.

Maybe your father thinks that having the pic of him you remember him more and get sad . He maybe is trying to help on the "Crying everyday" thing and he doesnt ask you to forget or get over it ... he cares

When i asked my philosophy teacher if the experience of Death can be forgotten or even healed by time , he answered that it cant . he told me that even if 50 years pass we will still feel the same way , but what we need to do is to Accept it in order to feel ourselves better , we will never stop feeling the same way untill we admit and accept it . You obviously are not ready but your father cares about you ... he is not asking you to Forget him neither he wants to be rude . he just cant bear in mind that you cry everyday . of course you will never forget about your friends , no time wont take it away :( ...Its only you who can Do it ... and you need time for that as Dan said


Love you big sis I'll be here for anything you need <3








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Old 12-12-11, 12:37 PM   #4
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Default Re: I'm not ready.

Amy, your Dad is just being a Dad and is just looking out for you. Thats what our Papa's do - he will see that your upset and he will know how you are feeling and I'm sure he hates to see you like this. He just wants you to be you again. Hell he knows you aren't just gonna forget your friend - you never forget those special ones.
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Old 12-12-11, 01:00 PM   #5
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Default Re: I'm not ready.

I think maybe, as Crystal said, he might just hate seeing you upset. Most parents understand what their children go through whether it's the loss of a loved one or smaller things but they want to see their kids plough on and not let it take over because they don't want to let it permanently upset you for life. They want you to move on so you can go back to being you again.

I'm sure he knows you'll get better with time and I'm also very sorry for your loss, I never knew Shiloh but I hope he rests in peace.









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Old 13-12-11, 02:26 PM   #6
R.I.P Shiloh. ♥
 
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Default Re: I'm not ready.

I know he's trying to help but I mean in general people are pushing me to get over it, when I go to his house he always brings it up and I just wish he'd leave it alone and let me deal with it in my own time.








R.I.P Shiloh Moore, I love you and miss you.<3
~~~~~~
23.3.2013
Walid Khaled Abuzaid<3
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Old 13-12-11, 02:33 PM   #7
[06.26.2010]<3
 
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Default Re: I'm not ready.

I somewhat agree with you but I somewhat agree with your dad too.
I lost an old friend of almost 20 years back in January to Muscular Dystrophe. I know it's hard and that it can be hard to let go.
You don't have to let go though, but you can't keep clinging to his memory either; it's not healthy. IMO, you have to allow yourself to take steps towards letting go; but do it slowly.

For example, change your facebook picture, but keep a picture of him in your wallet or something; after all, mourning is usually a fairly private thing, not something plastered over facebook for everyone to see, including those who never knew him.
Also, think about what you think Shiloh would want. I don't think he'd want to hve seen you still so wrapped up in it ya'know?
I hear he was really decent guy, I think he'd want you to be happy, and you can't really be happy if you're busy trying not to move on from his death.








12.07.2007<3 The day he stole my heart.

06.26.2010<3 The day I stole his last name.

08.22.2013<3 The day we welcomed our daughter into the world.

Last edited by Caer; 13-12-11 at 02:36 PM..
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Old 13-12-11, 02:45 PM   #8
R.I.P Shiloh. ♥
 
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Default Re: I'm not ready.

Thanks for the help Shonna

I mean the picture I have as my profile picture is the one in my sig, which I put up on world aids day, I'm just finding it difficult to take it off and I don't really know why, I'll try and get someone else to change it for me.

Thanks again for the advice.








R.I.P Shiloh Moore, I love you and miss you.<3
~~~~~~
23.3.2013
Walid Khaled Abuzaid<3
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Old 13-12-11, 02:46 PM   #9
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Default Re: I'm not ready.

Hope I could help<3








12.07.2007<3 The day he stole my heart.

06.26.2010<3 The day I stole his last name.

08.22.2013<3 The day we welcomed our daughter into the world.
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Old 13-12-11, 04:30 PM   #10
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Default Re: I'm not ready.

You lost some one you love, YOU choose when to let go, i haven't let go of Shiloh either, the fact is your never going to let go of Shiloh, he'll always be looking down on us with his squirrel friends and wanting the best for us, making jokes, fooling around, just because Shiloh isn't alive doesn't mean you'll forget about him, he'll always be in your heart if you let him. He was a great guy and he would have wanted you to be happy.
When you want to change your picture, it's when your ready, just remember, he'll still be here.
Always here if you need a chat
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