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I can't. I can't explain what's wrong. I can't vent properly. I can't fix what is wrong with me now. I wish I could physically let people in and tell them what's bothering me. I can't though. If I don't explain what's wrong with me soon, I'm going to freaking kill myself. It's futile though. I can't explain what I go through. I'm about to erupt....
"The moment you begin to fear death is the same moment when you stop living."
Have you ever spoken with anyone about your past? It
May be a good start. Maybe it would help if you had someone to talk to that always asked the right questions, or at least some questions at all, it could be like a hit and miss thing where steam get's let out little by little. I'd like it if you were on msn some time, I would chat here, but I don't have a computer ATM. :( I hope you feel better, Ben.
You don't need anyone to tell you what needs to be done. But let me just say that no one can hate you for your problems more than they would hate you if you hurt or killed someone in a flurry of emotional outburst. Seek professional help.