Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

But how can I do it without crushing him? I want to figure out a way to do it as kind as I can.

He's a guy, unless he's a wimp, he should understand...

You have to realise some thing, there are millions of women like you who believe what their BF says, that is - " I am going to be with you till the death, because I love you.." It's complete crap, you guys are 17, there are going to be many people who say that to you in the future.. But they are saying it out of instinct at that moment.. I know a lot of couples who were married at an early age.. what happened was life.. both of them fell in love with other people within a couple of years..

Forget being kind to him.. I had a friend who married a guy because he was over the top in love with her.. she was 19.. they had a kid the next year, and the guy left, because he loved someone else, and he said " I am not ready to be a father yet, so I'm going to get drunk and laid.."

Now ask yourself this... 1. Do you want to have a kid by the time your 20..?
2. Do you want to miss out on all the drinking and sex during the sweet period of 20 to 30?
3. Do you want to be in a life of debt, and constant work, and strain?

That's what will probably happen, because guys can be jack asses a lot of times, I remember I was a jerk a couple of times... I'm 16, I had a GF who I loved with my heart, but a couple of months later, she said she didn't like me as she had earlier.. I was devastated, but only for a couple of days, then, I realised it was the best thing that happened to me..
If he doesn't understand now, give it some time, trust me.. He'll get over you within a couple of months at most... but he will, that's for sure, it may break his heart, but he's a guy, not a wuss.. he'll handle it, by drinking, gambling and repeated visits to strip clubs..

Rep Me if you liked my advice..




I can tell you ways to do it, but there is no kind way.. except, try this

Now Guy, We've been together for a long time, and I really like you, and I don't want us to end up like some half - ass couple, I want us to remain friends.. but we can't ever be good friends if we're seeing each other - You can't have the cake and eat it too..... - So, for the sake of our friendship, I'm breaking up with you.. We can still hang out, but as best friends.. I hope you understand...



that is as kind as i can put it for you..

Rep me please..

You say that as if I have been lieing to him about the way I feel. I have not. I am not the kind of person that pretends to be something I'm not, for that would be stupid - especially if you want a serious relationship with anyone, ever. (in my opinion)

I have told him prior to this thread about how I feel - he knows I don't really want us to last forever (in a sence). We respect each other.

He is a good person. He won't cheat, and neither will I. All I want is some advice on how to cut my commitment with him without making him feel like I don't want to hang out with him?.. he is my best friend. He was for 4 months before we decided to go out as bf gf. I am hoping we can still be after since I don't want a break up to kill our friendship. He is the best friend I've ever had.

Oh well, if you say so.. just try my previous method.

Now ( guys name ), We've been together for a long time, and I really like you, and I don't want us to end up like some half - ass couple, I want us to remain friends.. but we can't ever be good friends if we're seeing each other - You can't have the cake and eat it too..... - So, for the sake of our friendship, I'm breaking up with you.. We can still hang out, but as best friends.. I hope you understand...

I think thats kind enough.. what about you?

I'd like other suggestions please.

Well, how about you find some one else for him, and Let those two hang out a lot.. maybe then.. something will click..
but I'm not sure what kind of relationship you want with this boy, though.. You just want to be friends, Right?
Well, making him take his mind off you, and projecting on someone else is a good way, too..
But if you don't mind me asking.. if this guy loves you so much, and if you trust him.. there's no prob with remaining in a relationship..

He loves me. And I trust him. Yes.

I just don't feel the connection that I want to spend my life with him. There's no spark. Wasn't really ever there... but if him it was certain.

He's a sweet man. I just don't feel that way completely.

I definitely see your point...

You can either just not say anything and wait for him to feel the same way as you do..but it can take a while, probably a lot of years, the good part about not telling anything is that you won't hurt his feelings at all... But the bad part is that not only will both of you waste a long time, but at the end of it, you wouldn't even be friends..

You say you told him everything.. yet he doesn't want to accept it.. now this is very dangerous.. because he can be obsessive in a bad way..
No matter what you do, something bad will definitely happen..
All you can do, in my opinion, given your current status would be to sit down and have a long talk with him.. If he loves you like you said.. he will understand, other wise, you have two options.. stay with him and regret it for the rest of your lives, or let go of him altogether...
Maybe he didn't realise the first time you told him, that you were being serious..
You have to talk to him..
If you can't do that, then I suggest you give more Information regarding the situation.. In order to help, We need to know whats going on with this guy..

(bob) is a good person. He's had a troubled past by growing up poor (including on the streets at some times due to parental mistakes in there lives) - but they have come out of it. He never told me but I honestly believe he has abandonment issues. Which is another reason why I don't like the thought of leaving him. Not completely.

He has told me that no matter what - he needs me in his life in one way or another. Friends, penpals, married couple, or otherwise.


- I have talked to him about how I actually will want to date other guys later on if/when we break up. (and he knows I won't cheat while with him like I said before). But he says he honestly isn't interested in any other girls anymore. He doesn't understand why, but that's how he feels. -- Yes he thinks some are cute, but none appeal to him.

Well, that certainly helped more than I had imagined... Hmm.. This is definitely one of the toughest problems I've been confronted with..
You say he does not get attracted by other women, maybe it's because he's not meeting any one new.. I mean, he obviously spends a lot of time with you, therefore you are the only girl he knows and hence he can't let you go, maybe you should take him to a party.. let him meet new people, the more he socialises, the more he's going to understand that there are many people in this world who will care for him.. Let him spend a lot of time with other girls..

I know you are going to think I'm lying, but i had a very similar situation.. You see, I wasn't a famous person, i didn't know many girls at all, just a lot of guys.. except for this one girl, who always at least tried to talk to me.. I never wanted another girl ever.. Many years passed like this. Until one day I realised, she was the one for me.. and I became obsessed bout her, she didn't know.. but one day, I asked her out on a date, she assumed I was joking and said she wouldn't go out with me, even if I was the last MAN on Earth...It devastated me.. I could never do anything properly, I was crushed... I was goign to hurt myself in some serious ways, I tried taking a lot of medicine, I walked freely on roads, not giving a crap.. I was seriously troubled, but then I was invited to a party, and I started meeting new girls, and I realised There are a lot of fish in the sea... and as I grew up, I became more sophisticated and I knew more girls.. I forgot all about Girl no.1, and was only thankful she had done what she had done, cause if she hadn't, I would never be able to know all the great girls I know of today..

So, (Secret), my suggestion now, is to let Bob make new acquaintances and meet a lot of girls.. Make him go alone to parties.. Make him join some great site such as this one..

So, what do you think?