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This is really long, but please read it..
I met this girl in the ballroom dance club. Lets call her Amanda. We had a lot in common, we'd always joke and be sarcastic and flirty with each other. we were very critical about everything and loved making fun of things or people lol. everyone said we were like an old married couple lol. everyone thought we'd date eventually...i never really payed much mind to it though.


However, I started to really like her in like February so i started to pursue something with her. I asked her out a few times, but she was always busy. Eventually I told her I really liked her and that i wanted to take her out sometime. She was hesitant because she thought i was a lot like her ex-bf. In the end we decide to go out on a date, just to get to know each other a little better. We went to a local park and sat on a bench near the lake and talked for a few hours. We had a lot in common and i thought everything was going great. As the sun started to set i put my arm around her and she scooted in closer and wrapped her arms around my chest and put her legs up over mine on the bench. We sat there cuddling for a while and watched the sunset, it was so romantic


Once it started to get colder, we drove back to our college where i had picked her up after class so she could drive herself home. I parked like a space away from her car but she still asked me to walk her to her car. We made a reference to an inside joke and then we hugged for a while. I kissed her on the forehead and she told me that i could kiss her on the lips and that she wouldn't reject me. So i did. After the kiss we held each other tight for a minute or two and finally said goodnight. It was the best date i had ever been on ^_^


We had decided to keep it a secret for the time being because we weren't sure about how all of our friends would react, especially if things didn't turn out so well. So we would text a lot but we weren't able to make any other plans because between our class schedules and all of the ballroom competitions we had to go to, so the only time we hung out was with our friends, who had no idea we were dating. A week or so went by and my friend (female), who knew i liked her but not that we were dating, said that Amanda told her that she thought i was kind of clingy...I'm still not sure why but i think it had something to do with always sitting/standing close to her when we were together with friends. So i tried to ease up and give her some space. A week goes by and we had a dance at the local dance hall that we'd go to every so often. she didn't stay, but i had texted her after she left asking if she wanted to hang out the next day. I got a text halfway through the night that she just wanted to stay friends and she didn't think it was going to go anywhere. i was caught completely off guard....i tried to ask her why or get her to change her mind but she was adamant saying that i was a nice guy, but she didn't have those feelings for me.


I tried to talk to her at practice the next day. She really didn't want to and she really got kinda red, almost like she was going to tear up, when i brought it up. I begged her if we could talk in private after practice. She said she couldn't talk after because she had to give someone a ride home. Basically I left her with that I'd really like her to change her mind but id rather be friends than nothing at all. So i tried to accept it and I went home and put back about 10 shots of vodka in about 4 minutes...dont judge me


The next day I realized that I love her....and not like dumb rejection infatuation, i mean really really love her and everything about her. But that was two weeks ago. Since then we are still good friends, things went back to the joking and sarcastic thing we had had before. No awkward moments, nothing....but she is literally the only thing I've thought about for the last 2 weeks, which was hard since it was the week of finals. However, on Saturday that just happened, we had made plans to go to the dance hall for one of the dances. Turns out it was only gonna be me, Amanda and i think one other friend. I get there, and i see Amanda leaving and the lot is empty. I call Amanda and she tells me that the place apparently flooded so there was no dance that night. She was mad because she got all dressed up. I suggested that we call our friend and see if we can still get together and not waste the night. She texts me back a few minutes later saying that our friend had already made new plans so she was just gonna go home.


I texted her back in a half joking/half serious way that her and i could still hang out. she didn't txt back so i said that i was only joking in case she was like nervous or something. she told me that she was on the highway and that's why she didn't text me back (she lives about 20 minutes away from me, so its legit). I text her saying that it was a shame she got dolled up for nothing. Then she said she was mad that our friend made new plans so quickly. Then i said that her and I still, and now im quoting from the texts "could have done something, not that she would have wanted to". She texts back saying "you are so friggin negative, did you know that?". To which I replied " I am not. I just didn't know if you wudda felt awkward hanging out just the two of us.....did u want to hang out? cuz ill drive the 20 minutes to come get you...". Then she replies "No i just wanna stay home. I'm not in the mood to go out anymore."


OMFG, im so confused with this girl! She is already a hard girl to read on top of everything. I thought that everything was going really well, and then she just ends it out of the blue. And between the tearing up when i mention the break-up text and then getting mad when i assume she doesn't want to hang out with me just the two of us, i have no idea what this girl is thinking. And its killing me cuz i genuinely love this girl more than anything in the world and i wish i could tell her that i love every single thing about her, even the things that she doesn't like about herself...


My ballroom club is hosting a dance at our college this Friday night and i know she'll be there. Ive thought about telling her that i love her during one of the slower dances; ive played the scenario over and over in my head. I'm just so unsure if i should or not because it might screw up everything we have at the moment.


So if you read through up until now, this is basically what im asking:
1) What do you think about the whole situation?
2) What do you think her real feelings are?
3) Should i tell her i love her at the dance?
Thanks for reading....please leave some advice....

If she seems ok and friendly with you during the dance then let her know.

If not she might be going through things like problems at home which is just making her really stressed out etc. Just try talking through things and if she's not willing to listen maybe she's not the girl you thought she was? <-- that was meant in the nicest way possible :s

Good luck x

Ugh, this is one messy situation, I'm not sure if it would be a good thing to tell her that you love her.. She's most probably having problems at home, or at a point were she can't be in a relationship as of this moment.. i mean, shes the one who ended it..
my opinion is that you probably shouldn't tell her squat, and just try to move on.

I think it's clear from how she's reacted that she wants to stay as 'just friends' for whatever reason. I do think, however, that you deserve an explanation at least as to why she decided she didn't want to take things further. Don't push her into it though. You're both good at talking, which is good, so when you have some time alone, ask her why she thought it wouldn't work out and make sure she understands that that's all you want to know. Hopefully, she'll give you an answer when she feels she can.

You could also ask a friend to ask her. Make sure Amanda doesn't know that's what you're doing though. Get him/her to ask her something like "Have you ever thought about dating Armoury (you didn't give your real name lol), I think you would make a good couple". Amanda may tell her why she cut it off and what her feelings are. It seems that maybe her feelings confuse her slightly. That maybe she likes you but doesn't want to ruin what she already has with you or she isn't ready for another relationship just yet. It could also be problems at home or something completely different, but for whatever reason, a relationship is not what she wants right now.

You made your move and now she knows that you like her so I think that if she wants anything to happen, it's up to her. Don't go chasing after her because eventually, if she doesn't want to take things further, she'll get sick of you and your friends will be right when they say you're being clingy.

As I've already said, you two have an excellent friendship and it would suck to ruin that by trying to take things further. Telling her that you love her is a bad idea. You're not dating or anything and it will probably make things awkward between you. The idea of doing it during the dance may seem romantic and sweet to you, but to her it might feel like you'll told her then because she can't run away until the dance is over. Things like this don't happen like they do in the movies. Telling someone you love them during a dance won't make her fall in love with you there and then so that you can whisk her off her feet and ride a white stallion into the sunset and live happily ever after. It will probably put a pretty heavy dent in the side of your friendship. My advice would be don't tell her until/unless you're in a serious relationship with her and have been for some time.

So in summary (lol) just stay as friends unless its obvious that you both want to take things further; ask her for an explanation as to why she doesn't want a relationship; and don't tell her you love her.

Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
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The truth is out there...anybody got the URL?
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Don't forget to be awesome.

I would stay away from telling her that you love her unless you two get together and are really serious. I suggest trying to ask her for an explanation at the dance on why she broke up with you. Pull her away from everyone, ask her to get some fresh air with you. If you can weed out the problem that caused her to break up with you, then maybe you can fix it. But a huge no on straight up telling her you're in love with her.

There was something you said that captured my attention:

This is just a theory, but could it be possible that your friend lied to you about this? So when you backed off, Amanda took it as a sign that you didn't want to date anymore. But it's just a theory.

Image by Roxas

That can be extremely true

man if you walk away from her your going to be hurt, if you tell her and she walks away your going to be hurt. so theres a risk in it no matter what. but if you truelly do love her wouldnt you want her to know? atleast to know that someone is there that cares for her int hat way even if she isnt ready for it/?

Hmm, to tell her, or to not? is that the question?