Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Oh, let me clarify! It's one brick at a time, but by bringing the whole load to the site, you make it clear what you intend! You're going waaaaay toooooo sloooooow! You need to work quicker here with the masonry!

Complimenting someone is always a good thing, b/c most people respond favorably to it, but most importantly, it sends a clear message that you like them 'differently', that you're attentive. That's a 'green shoot' of the preliminary things that make a relationship, like nurturance. People nurture (take care of emotionally) each other in many ways, but being attentive (esp. to the details) is one of them.

Also, there's a difference btw'n a compliment and an observation. Mentioning her height (Esp. if it's a difference btw'n you or btw'n her and others) isn't necessarily a compliment, b/c you don't know how she feels about it yet. If she's taller than most girls, and you're a bit shorter than most guys, that's not necessarily a complimentary factor here, you don't know yet. Start off with something safe, which is a comment about something she has control over, like the color of her shirt, for instance, or the smell of her perfume: "Oh, that's a great perfume! What is it?". Or, "I looove the color of your shirt! Is blue your favorite? It compliments your coloring so well!", Maybe, "That's a cool watch! Is it a Rolex?".

These are ice breakers and convo starters, afterwards, try to move it out of 'News conference' territory, too many q's can seem artificial. Just chat about stuff, the weather, the summer, the stock market (j/k, j/k), but you get the idea.

If she's given you her phone number and b'day, she wants you to get to know her (these are informational bits, after all), and she's sending a message that she likes you and wants you to stay in touch...probably. It's only awkward the first few times, less so as you get more comfortable, and quicker, b/c you're saying you used to talk much more. Just get out there with her and start.

Okay then fine, I'll speed up You really do care about me! The height thing was a joke!:laugh:

I didn't illustrate this properly(It's hard to describe exactly in words) but right now I don't have time, so I'll clear this up as time goes.

As I'm not her or one of her friends, I don't know what she's thinking(Of course I guess). Maybe she likes me, or maybe she simply puts up with me without having any sort of feelings. I am the one who does the stuff(Giving stuff, asking phone number and b-day) and she simply answers me.

Still, as thick-minded as I am, I'll try to heed your advice as well as possible. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I still am skeptical about giving compliments. Although she probably won't turn me off, I still don't see whether doing those is "casual" enough. But on the other hand, my feelings for her, and what happened in the past isn't normal either. I really don't know girls that well But two of my friends who are girls loooove compliments. Once I told one of them her earrings are cool, and she's like smiling for 20 minutes

I'll try to post later. On a final note, she smells really good. Maybe I'll start with that....

Lomg time no post again But good news! A recently made friend of mine turned out to be a close friend of hers, and she's willing to help me. Now thanks to her, finding out about her will be much easier! Plus, now I can get direct advice from a girl's point of view!

Well, yay! Keep us posted.

Today I found out a few things about her, but I don't know how relevant they are She knows quite a lot about her, and today I saw them interacting....Certainly close friends

What kinds of things should I find out about her?

Okay, some more good news! I signed up for my school's summer vacation reading room program, and she did to! What's more, our seats aren't far apart! So I'll be seeing her a lot this summer....

Should I try to get something out of this opportunity?

Long time no update...And I have a bit to say!

To start off, her seat is very close to mine, so if I turn my head to the left after leaning back slightly, I can see her.

And although she has quite a few of her friends in the reading room(One's who'll loooove my blood), she usually hangs out with only one, and she's not familiar about me. Making talking to her easier. But I still leave her alone unless a reason.

And yesterday and today, due to accident and calculated timing respectively, I got her by myself. I don't eat dinner at school since my house is close and well, cost issues, but apparently she was the same. She bolted out right after we were allowed out, and after spilt-second thinking, I followed.
Yesterday, I met her right outside the school doors, and walked her to the school gates. She wasn't put off with me, friendly as she is, and she told me, with a burst of emotion, that she wished dinner time would be longer than its 1 hour. I told her I agreed, and maybe I should tell the reading room master teacher about that. She laughed at that, and that sparked a conversation regarding our past. It was nice, we parted saying "see you later", and as we parted, her mere movement sent a wave of terrific-smelling scent toward me. Made me smile for quite a while

Today, I deliberately bolted right after her(Yeah I'm a stalker and stuff, but this is one thing I'm good at, sneaking up...Ooops!) and walked with her down the stairs. I picked up the conversation from yesterday(She's easy to talk with really), and kept it going until we separated. She seemed slightly sorrowful at my explaination that I had to eat dinner alone(I think she misunderstood me; I said "only today" but she apparantly understood it as "always") but I think that's a normal response. And when we left, I picked up speed as I left, and found her going down the stairs with the friend I mentioned earlier. As her friend's back was turned(But even if she was looking it wouldn't matter much) I told her goodbye, and she replied. That was an okay ending for today:cool: And over in all, those two 2 minute conversations made me feel closer to her, reminding me very much of two years ago...

So, after some consideration, I found out the following:

1. She is still easy to talk with
2. She and I share a same wish(?), which I can possibly fix
3. Although I don't know if it bothers her, butsince I'm fairly sure that it doesn't, I can possibly talk to her without distractions for 2 minutes each weekday. This I would like to use well(Well....I'm a guy aren't I?:laugh
4. She still likes stars, judging from what I overheard...But it doesn't bother me as much now
5. She smells REAL good

I'm thinking maybe this summer vacation reading room thing can be put to good use, if I do it correctly. Since you guys(Love you guys) will help me, I guess I'll ask to questions:

1. WHat do you think of this?
2. If you approve, what kind of things should I talk with her about? I think something short and casual will be best....

Have a nice day!

I'd agree that girls do smell nice....

To answer your q's, I don't think there's a formula for what to talk about, it's more spontaneous than that. Chit chat, maybe a compliment here and there (girls love that!), bring some candy/cookies to share, and silence is Ok, too, just remember to smile so it's not awkward....people connect non verbally, too.

You're off to a good start, and based on everything you;re saying, she seems to like you....or at least, she's receptive to your presence there.

Yes, she's actualy quite receptive of me, never frowned once nor ignored me.

So I guess you're saying I should do the talking thing In that case, I could talk about everyday things(Chit chat) but what if there's no good subject? Then I think I'll have to talk about something different, maybe a bit more personal? Thing is, I've always avoided saying the same thing twice, and now that's left me with not much to say

I share something with her 2~3 times a week these days(Not too often or in a row....) but I don't know what I could compliment in her. I mean, there's a TON of things I like about her, but the questions could be too personal/probing So although I'm (really!) not scared to talk to her....I guess right now I don't know what to say. I think a few suggestions could set a good example. Some help please?

And Spock, you're the best

*blushes* Thanks for the compliment, i'm glad to try to be helpful.

I think 'chit chat' is the mindless banter that people do just to stay connected for a moment or two. The point in being together is to connect, and there are a lot of ways to do that. Many people think they need to fill the time (and silence) with talk talk talk, and there's a point to some of that, but you can also communicate non verbally. Just being with someone you like (and who lies you back) feels good, you don't need to say much, other than to smile and such. When something comes up, then you talk about it. If it doesn't, just enjoy each other, silently.

If the silence becomes awkward, that's when you say bye and move on until next time.

Also, it;s Ok to call me 'Sam', the Spock thing seems cold and impersonal.