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Relationships, Dating and CrushesDating and relationships forum. Seek dating advice, relationship advice and chat about your crushes on our message boards.
I'm not uncomfortable with silence, but I've found that girls often are. So I thought that 'if I'm gonna be with her, I'll talk to break the ice.' But yes, perhaps too much talk isn't it either. But then again, I don't talk to her that much. So when I do talk with her, I thought I should say something decent and not....errrrr.....Nerdy?
Also, everybody I've told this, said don't miss this opportunity. I guess I'm lucky to be able to get her to myself then?
People are usually uncomfortable with silence when they're with someone they really don't know or like. Neither is accurate in your case, so some silence while you both think of something to say is OK, just remember to smile or otherwise connect with her non verbally.
And 'nerdy'=inappropriate in a silly or immature way. Also, talking endlessly about yourself is a no no. Asking q's about her likes and dislikes, and then showing an interest, etc. is good.
Okay. I'll keep that in mind Interests.....Still should be careful not to sound like probing.
Yesterday I didn't have the time to speak with her, though. My timing was off(Stalker....?) and she went out with her friend. But I don't think she deliberately avoided me; they returned more quickly than usual; maybe she ate out instead of at her house.
Long time no post......Mainly because nothing good happened. For an entire week!:( I missed every chance at dinner time because she was accomponied by bloodthirsty friends.
But today was different
I noticed her friend wasn't around; further examination told me one of her annoying, not-best-friends had gone too, as she just sat at her seat during break. So I seized the chance! She exited early, and I followed. I got her at the staris again, and this time we talked about subjects, and college entering. When I told her all I have is my English, she laugher, she same laugh as the old times....
Whew! I'm busy now sorry, gotta go, but today was a good day!(Even without the conversation)
Thank you for your reply in the other thread Sam
This time was the first time I EVER felt nervous in front of her...Probably because I didn't plan it beforehand But I kept my voice steady, something I do well in front of her.
In regard to the other thread.....You said my situation is more optimistic. At least she isn't completely pulling away, yeah. But she's not like, that active toward me either. Typically when we first lock eyes, we greet each other, sometimes out loud. But afterwards when we meet, we usually don't. Unless we meet just before the reading room closes or I have her to myself, this is the typical interaction we have. Not much really
I, on my part(or perhaps I'm timid), try not to confront her too often, as she's usually in animated conversation with her friend(s); too much confronting may make her uncomfortable(It did in the past), and most of her friends don't like me(Grrr....But its a true fact) Maybe I'm over-rationalizing, but this is how I'm thinking.
She, as far as I've observed, never fails to return my advances, whatever they are(Something I'm apologic to her, too). She usually accepts what I give her, but sometimes politely refuses(I used to do this a lot 2 yeas ago, but now I do it not as frequently) She never seems annoyed to see me, and when we talk, we do good talk, with her answering well, and giving out topics for me to answer to too.
But really, I've never known what she really thinks of me. She may or may not consider me, and maybe she thinks I like her still(Now its true), or maybe she doesn't like me but is too kind to turn me down directly.
Yes, that pretty much(90%) sums up the situation, and what I've been thinking. Any more info needed, I'll answer within my knowledge.
I think your situation is STILL more optimistic, probably even more than you think.
If you view interactions with her as somehow 'confrontational', that could be part of then problem. Maybe it's the way we use and understand language, and maybe I'm splitting hairs here, but 'confrontation' usually refers to some angry exchange. Talking with someone you like about neutral or positive things is hardly confrontational! It's really the opposite of that. Perhaps your shyness interferes here b/c you see normal social engagement as somehow 'too direct'. Maybe it's a cultural thing (I see you're from Korea), so i checked with my friend Kuen Young, who confirmed for me that Koreans are not as direct with opposite gender things.
Still, boys like girls, and girls like them back, regardless of the culture. You have to do what is culturally acceptable and relevant but don't forget to also take into consideration the basic biology here that people instinctively look to pair up.
Yes, I guess "confront" isn't a very good word to use. And also yes, what I meant by "confront" was meeting/talking to her face-on.
I think you're right on some accounts; I guess I am shy around her. The reason is, of course, because I don't want to make her uncomfortable, not because I'm afraid to talk to her.
Cultural? Hmmm....Maybe. But actually I'm quite an active person(Who's a bit 4-dimentional at times) and I treat all my friends more or less equally, both boys and girls. Also, my best friend is a girl too! So I think, rather than a cultural thing, it's just that....she's this one girl who's different to me.
Darn....Missed a good chance today. Although today isn't a normal "coming across" day, I noticed her friend wasn't at the reading room(During last period; I'm not a complete stalker). So I had another chance. But as soon as thje reading room ended, she shot out like a bullet, with me 20 seconds later. Man is she fast! If it wasn't for my hearing, I'd lost her! Seems she shot down the stairs to meet that very friend afformentioned. At the very least, I caught up to her at the school gates, but she was on the phone, so all I could say was "bye" not the " D-100" I thought up at the last moment. I guess I'll tell her tomorrow.
I am now only 100 days away from the big college exam tests. I'm supposed to be nervous, but not that much What say you, Sam? In addition to my previous post? Or am I too thick to understand?? Sometimes I am
Today's Toppers
Re: Trying again
Interests.....Still should be careful not to sound like probing.
) and she went out with her friend. But I don't think she deliberately avoided me; they returned more quickly than usual; maybe she ate out instead of at her house.
But I kept my voice steady, something I do well in front of her
), try not to confront her too often, as she's usually in animated conversation with her friend(s); too much confronting may make her uncomfortable(It did in the past), and most of her friends don't like me(Grrr....But its a true fact) Maybe I'm over-rationalizing, but this is how I'm thinking.
.
Errr....Could you be more specific? Sometimes I'm like this.....
), could you tell me why you think so?
