Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Alright look I know to some this is all morally wrong and all that, but just leave it out of here. I don't really want to hear it.

So my mom started dating this guy and he has 3 daughters. One of them is my age, and she's just...really nice. I...I feel I like her. I have a feeling she likes me too for some reason. She goes to a different school like 10 minutes away, so if I would've seen her at my school I would've gone for her right away.

Now, my mom always wanted to get re-married and they've been dating for at least a month now seeing each other every day and they're nuts for each other, which she hasn't had with anybody else (seeing each other every day). I can tell hes the one for her.

So, there's a good chance they'll get married. What if his daughter and I were dating or might date in the future when they're married? Is this bad? Is there any way to tell if this is illegal or something? Help :(

at the very least it you'd be living in a very tempting situation if she feels the same way.

To be honest, the only problem I see is if we wouldn't last too long and then we'd have to be under the same roof and things wouldn't work out. She doesn't seem like she'd be mean like that, but who knows.

Hi Erik,

Well, gratz on being part of a new family....well, almost, anyways.

First, no, it's not 'immoral' to have feeling for a (future) step sister. She's not related to you, and you have no prior history with her. So, you're meeting (and getting to know) her for the first time, and with that, come attractions! No worries yet.

If your mom and this guy really do tie the knot and his kids live with you, THEN it could be problematic. Even though you guys have no prior history and are both teens, your folks getting married changes the 'rules', so although it's OK (and understandable) for you and she to feel an attraction, actually acting on it (as in 'going out') would be a major complication and something that would definitely throw a wrench in things at home!

Here's what I suggest: Keep your attractions and arousal for her inside, keep it in your head. Enjoy it there, allow yourself to do *whatever* it is that you want, privately. Publicly, consider her to be more than a new hottie living in your house. She's somewhere btw'n a new friend and a 'sister'.

Remember, that the basis of attraction is usually more than the physical, it's also the emotional, it's having someone new about your age that you can relate to, etc. Enjoy THOSE parts of the relationship, allow yourself to explore having a new person of the opposite gender and nearly your age that's cool to have around as a new, special kind of friend. That's very special, Erik, esp. if you haven't had the benefit of a sister. Don't muck it up (for you and your mom) by acting on those *other* feelings. it's not worth it, and you'd be missing out on a very special kind of relationship that can enrich you in ways far better than the *other*.

It's not just her looks though. I haven't made a girl laugh as much as I have in the past couple of days. I'm thinking about waiting it out until further notice, but who knows. PLUS, I don't think they'd be living with my family, probably just their dad with my family, because they usually live with their mom. So I don't know. It sucks, it really does, haha. Well thanks for your help Sam, was, as always, helpful.

No its not morally wrong anything to like a girl not related to you. The thing is if you do date her or anything and then you end up step siblings it might be awkward. I know a guy at school who went out with and had sex with a girl who was later his step sister. He seems kinda embarassed by it but they dont go out anymore so idk. I guess it depends on how you guys would feel about it.

I understand , Erik. I think regardless of where she lives, she's still going to be 'related', so I'd suggest you try to enjoy her as that.

Do you have a sister now, do you know what's that like? They can be very good friends and laugh and enjoy and like you a lot, without it necessarily becoming more. You're assuming that her actions are flirtatious rather than friendly.

Give it some time, if your mom is serious about getting remarried to her dad, at the very least, don't say or do anything prematurely that might make it really uncomfortable for everyone if her actions are just 'friendly'.

^^this

There's nothing wrong with it. It's not illegal or morally wrong but it might get awkward. If the rest are your family are comfortable with it and you're both prepared to make it work then why not.

Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
~
The truth is out there...anybody got the URL?
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Don't forget to be awesome.

Yeah I have a sister, and to be honest, she seemed more like she was coming on to me more than my sister ever would've. And yeah it would be extremely awkward...I dunno. Maybe things won't work out for my mom and her dad, but even that would be sad because they seem right for each other.

It's not wrong...

It's kind of kinky actually...