Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Hey there.

I need some advice about a girl and what I should do now because I don't really know what to do...
The Situation is a bit complex.

She is a very pretty girl (in my opinion) but is also carefull when it comes to relationships because she made some wrong choices about her friends in the past.
I am quite shy if it comes to women, especially pretty ones.
Well, I wont consider myself as ugly but I think she is out of my league.
We know each other now since 2 years ( school ).
And we are both 19. ( I know not that young anymore. )

Now to the situation:

We got in touch since I know her,so like 2 years ago... yeah.
But we always only had contact at msn, we didn't talk that much in school, just hello and bye. ( different friends)
But somehow,I dont know why, I began to like her, guess we chatted really often.
So it was just a matter of time when I asked her out.
Then 1 1/2 years ago I really had a crush on her and asked her out.
We went on a "date" ( wasnt really a date, we just watched a movie).
And I think it doesn't went that well, because after that, nothing had really changed, we chatted even less after that.
So, I always was like:" I dont have a chance, I should forgett her" and so on.
And I was like, ok if she writes to me, I answer,and the next time I start but then I wait for her turn.
Then, we didn't chat for like a half year because school went really busy ,final exams and so on and she never chatted to me and so didn't I.
I wasn't in her anymore... my feelings were gone to 0.

But then... last month. We had to meet, because of preparations for our prom.
She had to hand me some information over so I could prepare sth. for the prom.
I thought that she will come over, give me the information and leaves.
So that it's gonna be really formal.
But it didn't go this way.
She came over, we talked and after a hour or so, she left.
But she came back in the evenings to help me with my assignment for the prom.
And it was nice, kindly and she left at like 2 am.
Next week we met again,same cause,went well again.
Then at the prom,I talked with her, we danced a bit ( at the party,not the standard dance).
And we drove home together,but she to hers and I to my home.
Ok here I was... with the girl, I had a crush on, alone once again in like a week.
I mean,I came closer to her than I ever was, my last chance ever, because school is over....
So... I asked her out,again, she didn't say no,but she didnt have time in the next 2 weeks,but after that we could meet and she said that she will contact me. She didnt say when, or how,maybe this weekend or mabye never?
1 week, then are 2 weeks over.

I know the whole story is complicated, it ain't easy to describe 2 years in a short text. My english sucks,I know.
But I have to be sure about this.
I dont want to waste any feelings for her again... but I think this time I have a shot, maybe she likes me...

So I need to know what I should do...
Confess my feelings at the first date? Or dont even mention it as a date,just a meeting between 2 friends?.

you need to find her and be honest with her, ask her if she likes you more than a friend and tell her your feelings for her she will understand.

Yeah... but I guess that I should wait til she comes forward to me.
But the problem is that I tried before and failed... I don't want that again.
So maybe I should wait for clear signals from her?

I think the whole stroy between us is really complicated... so here a really short summary:
We know each other since 2 years, I had a crush on her 1 1/2 years ago, we met, but nothing happened, I failed.
Contact between us was mostly only online, not that much contact in school.
Like 7 months ago, I had no contact with her for like 6 months. I thoughts it's over, I had no feelings for her anymore.
Last month, we came in touch again , she wanted it.
But I was still careful and chary.
School is over, we wont see each other anymore.
But I aksed her out and she said yes, so we should have a date in like 1 or 2 weeks.

I really need some help guys...
I don't know with what kind of expectations I should look forward to the "date".
I mean she rejected me once,but now... I got a feeling that she wants that date.
But I'am not sure.
What do you guys think?

Sorry for the delay, I wasn't really sure what it was you were wanting, but I got it now, thanks for the synopsis!

I think you should expect to go on a date, don't let your prior feelings/expectations/fantasies get in the way here. Be focused on her, be attentive, and use that history you had with her as a bit of background, nothing more. People change a lot form 17 to 19, so even though you have some experience with each other, it's really not very predictive of anything.

Act as if this is a totally new person that you have a bit of info on, and use that to keep things moving. And have fun!

Hm...like a new start?
Forgett about the past,what happened,just what is now or rather since the past month?
Sounds possible.

But... I am still waiting for her call.
She is back in town, I thought that she send me a sms or sth. like that but no... no sign from her.
I know that she is busy,she told me after I asked her out,but how busy can it be? Not a big deal to call or write a short sms...
I guess I'll wait,if she doesn't call... then it's not supposed to be.

Like a new start..but with the benefit of some prior history.

I'd recommend reaching out to her one more time here, don't sit passively and wait for her to call, give her a ring and see what's going on. The goal here is to have something..or move on. Not wait.

Yeah.
But she said that she will call me.
So if she doesn't call, I can assume that she doesn't have any interest in a date or not?
But... yeah,I will call her,it's a chance I don't want to miss.
But I'll wait to the end of the week,maybe monday or tuesday.

Yeah, she said she call you, she should honor that commitment and call you, but she hasn't and you're wondering what it means and probably grinding over it. So, you call her and find out what's going on so you don't have to sit there by the phone, grinding away wondering what's going on.

You can wait, that's Ok, do what's most comfortable for you. But, typically, when something doesn't happen as it should(or you'd like), it's often better to grab the bull by the horns and find out what's going on..clarification is often more important than pride.

The problem is when it comes to her I always assume the worst .

I'll give her some more time to call, I don't know how busy she is or maybe she isn't even busy... I don't know. That girl is such a big challenge but worth all my stress if it works out.