Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

okay heres my problem.
freshman year of highschool, i formed an insta-crush on this guy. crazy thing is i had no classes with him or anyything like that, i just saw him one day in the halls and was instantly hooked, it was just one of those things that to everyone else is stupid and crazy and if someone said the same thing to me id think it was weird, but to me it wasnt it was normal to feel this way and i liked it. for some reason something inside of me just knew he was perfectt for what i was looking for, he wasnt the "coolguy" but he wasnt the outcast. he was supergoodlooking but in his own way, not the usual generic looking girls fall for. It was something i would think about all the time that if anything were to ever happen it would be like a movie, and my heart said it was perfect, but my head said nothing is ever going ot happen. when i transfered schools for sophmore year it seemed like lost hope and i got over it, i would think about it here and there and sill wonder though, but i didnt hurt like i thought it would, i just couldnt help but to be mad at myself for never doing anything about it, and always wondering the "what ifs". i recently found him on facebook and just decided to add him for the ehck of it hoping that maybe just maybe he wouls wanna randomly strike up a conversation with me, delusional as i am that hasnt happened. As ive had boys come and go and be interested in me i just cant seem to let go of this guy and what we could have, i just cant. i feel like if i can just talk to him and see if hes everything i thought i could get some type of closure or something i dont even know what to do or how to talk to him. i dont wanna come off as this creepy girl, but i dont even know if i should talk to him at all, i wonder if just iming him on facebook would be way to weird and im scared of what he wouold think or if he would even reply im afraid that if i dont though i will majorly regret it ughh. im just so lost.
pleeeeeeease help me id appreciate it so much.
thankyou.

This doesn't sound 'Weird' at all! It's the definition of 'Crush'...it's in your head, those feelings are totally based on what you've created in your mind, without any benefit of actual reality! So, it's veeeeery powerful. Fantasies are.

Nothing works like a dose of reality, so you can do two things: First, you can contact him, not so much to admit your undying love for him, but rather to get to know him and do a reality check here, if the fantasy is at all like the reality, and/or, 2) Find a guy IRL and instead of holding back, maybe start a friendship (or at least a convo) and see what develops.

It might be important to keep in mind that your feelings might be very strong and very real, but what they're based on isn't. Clarifying for yourself the (yawning) gap btw'n the two is often helpful, but what's really best is to have a relationship where the reality matches the fantasy, and for that to happen, it needs to be IRL. The feeling you have for your crush can be duplicated with the right guy, IRL.

Firstly, there's nothing wrong with having a crush on this guy and I understand how you can't seem to get him out of your head. When I went through something similar, the best piece of advice I was given was that you never really stop caring about someone until you find someone you care about more. In short, you'll keep feeling like this until you meet someone new and that's absolutely fine.

I think the best thing you can do is to keep your busy, meet new people and try to move on in your life. It probably won't happen straight away but either gradually you'll think about him less and less or you'll be able to think about him without always wondering "what if". There are plenty more fish in the sea and you never really had anything with him anyway so you've not lost anything as such.

This probably isn't what you wanted to hear but I don't want to give you false hope.

Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
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The truth is out there...anybody got the URL?
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Don't forget to be awesome.

If you're attractive, he won't mind. But to be honest, it will be over soon.