Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

... after a fantastically passionate hook up with a really great guy. The only problem? He's my best friend's brother. We've been sneaking around for nearly two months now. She would never forgive me if she knew, especially because it's a sex thing, not even a real relationship. I feel like a terrible friend, but I really can't help myself. And there lies my dilemma. How do I break it off? Do I really want to?

I think it's important to ask yourself whether your friendship means more to you than your relationship with this guy. One day, the truth will come out about what you're doing and you'll end up losing one (or even both) so it will be better to make your decision now. If you ask yourself honestly, apart from someone to have sex with, does this guy mean anything to you? Whereas I'm sure that your best friend means a lot to you and is someone you wouldn't want out of your life. I'm not telling you to ditch the guy, but if you had to choose one, I think you would choose your friend.

The best way to break things off with him is just to tell him straight. Say that you don't like all this sneaking around and that you can't carry on like this anymore. If he's a decent guy about it, he'll understand and let you leave but if he's a total jerk, he might say things like "If you ditch me I'll tell my sister what you've been doing". Thing is, you won't know which way he's going to swing until you tell him.

You may not want to break it off with this guy because of the thrills you get from him, but if you take a step back and look at the situation, you'll see that your friendship with your best friend is at risk and you don't want to lose her. Also, you risk breaking their family apart because if the truth comes out (which it will sooner or later if you keep sneaking around) your best friend will probably hate you and her brother.

I hope some of this helps. Good luck

Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.
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The truth is out there...anybody got the URL?
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Don't forget to be awesome.

^This. Yup.

The other thing I'd mention is your little justification thingy there about not being able to help yourself. What's that about?

We all use two or three really good rationalizations per day, and usually they're all pretty lousy. They're just excuses for doing things we know deep down we really shouldn't. This one is particularly so. B/C it sounds like it threatens something truly valuable to you. We call that 'Self destructive'. Uh, oh...

You took a bite of a forbidden apple, knowing full well at the time what the consequences would likely be. And you went back for another. Self control in the face of extreme temptation is hard (heck, it's positively historical!), yet it's still an essential quality to have for things far more important than great sex. It's good practice.