Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

Matt

I’m not entirely sure why I’m writing this. I am well aware of the fact that there are many reasons that I shouldn’t be writing you at all. And I apologize but I’m doing it anyway. It is extremely possible that you will never read this. I will not have the courage to send it to you. It seems arbitrary and useless to be writing you a letter that you will never read while I’m and California and you’re across the god damned country in Georgia. But my fingers won’t stop moving.
I was upset with that happened over winter break. But I forgive you. I understand why you did it, and I know that it is something that I would have done too. So I know I cannot be mad about it. So I swear to you it is all forgiven.
It is scary how much you remind me of myself. Only a narcissist would fall for someone exactly like themselves. And yet you make me so nervous because I can’t read you. It scares me. It makes me feel like I might do something wrong and you might not want me anymore. I know its crazy to think that. But then again a lot of the things that I have done since I met you have been less than sane.
What hurt me so much about what happened over winter break is that I didn’t understand what went wrong. With the way that we were talking to each other while we were at school I had anticipated a much different reunion. I didn’t want a relationship, which you know now; I just wanted to have fun with you. When you ignored me I couldn’t think of what I had done. And it made me mad. I decided to just try to forget about you. And I couldn’t.
The main reason I couldn’t let you go is that I didn’t believe that it was really over. I still thought that there were residual feelings on both sides. I was sure that despite your actions you still had some sort of feelings for me so I refused to let go of my own.
When you apologized to me it was really nice. It was refreshing to hear. It truly made me feel a lot better. But at the same time I have this awful thought in my head that even despite your feelings could so easily cast me aside. I know you wear a mask to protect yourself like I do, but it scares me that you wear it so well.
I guess what scares me the most about you is that you can hurt me. I usually don’t get attached. I don’t mind casually hooking up with guys I barely know. It doesn’t faze me. None of the random guys I meet are you. I don’t have to worry about them liking me back or anything. With them it’s pure animalistic carnal pleasure, and I don’t need to worry about getting my heart broken. But you can break my heart. It has been so well protected over the years that it’s not used to this kind of threat. I always do my best in life to avoid pain but you are making it almost impossible.
I am so afraid that we will miss our chance to be together. I want to; at some point in my life to give this a shot. I truly believe that you might be worth the risk. So please, don’t cast me aside. Don’t let me go. And stop hiding from me. I want you. I want you for exactly who you are; you don’t need to pretend with me. And don’t let this opportunity for happiness pass you by, and I promise I will do the same.

I am yours,

Sarah

toooo long

Lol you're nice. In circumstances like that, use my method with the "tl;dr" post. It means, "Too long, didn't read".. So yeah back on topic;

TL;DR.

waw.. i know this story...

but anyway, i think yu should send it just because of what you say. he might think that you don't care about him and therefore if you don't clear that you, then you'll miss the shot to stay with him.... Please don't do the same mistake i did.. not worth it and it will only bring more pain. you think you're suffering now?? Wait until later

Well, wait. What are you trying to say there, what's your main point? Guys like that.

Before you send it, be clear not only what the main point you're trying to make is, but also what your expectations are. There's nothing worse than pouring your heart out to someone and feeling vulnerable, and then get your hopes dashed by their response. Be clear what you're expecting, and see if it jives with the letter. It's unclear to me what it is you're after here, and therefore, what I'm supposed to do in response. You don't want that from him.

Sometimes, it's a good thing to write something down and never send it b/c it gets it out...the good part isn't so much their response, but frankly your own (relief). If that's the case, fine. But if you're actually contemplating sending this, clarify what the point is, what you're expecting..and the chances of that actually happening are.

really cute, i loved it