Teen Forums - Teen Chat, Teen Help, Teen Advice & Support

well lately i found out my boyfriends been paying to go on these live webcam strip things, and it really upset me.. i'm not really sure why though..
like i knew he watched porn and that which didn't bother me but i guess its probably the fact someones doing something especially for him on cam that pisses me off.

also if i asked him to buy me an ice cream or a drink or if i could have one of his cigarettes he'd get angry and say he had no money and why should he spend his money on me when he earnt it etc, which at the time i thought fair enough but it kinda hurt when i realised he'd rather pay to watch some whore get naked on webcam for him.. he spent over £100 pounds on it over all..

he's cheated on me before, and when i found out about him paying for this i got the same feeling as when i found out about him cheating, would you say this was sort of cheating? because i'm not really sure how to deal with it :-/ thanks.

I'm not really sure. At first, I'd say no because he isn't in a relationship with them nor sleeping with them. I think that goes in the same category of going to a strip club (I don't know what your feelings would be if he did that either).

That said, if it bothers you, then that is a valid concern. Tell him what you told us, that it feels the same as cheating to you, and that he should respect that.

Oh, I'm sorry it's upset you, :( and I'm a little unnerved to hear that he never spends money on you and has even made a point to explain himself ... seriously, an ice-cream or a drink? Yes, fair enough he earns his own money, but it would hardly kill him (financially or otherwise) to sometimes treat you. Even MINIMALLY. No wonder his webcam splurging has made you feel awful.

I don't think it matters whether or not it's considered cheating. The point is that it's made you feel uncomfortable and devalued, and you're understandably hurt by it: he's gone to the extent of paying to see other women strip for him, which in turn must make you feel inadequate and as though you simply don't 'do it' for him.
It's important that you bring this up with him, and let him know that you're hurt by his interest in other women - even if it is something he only does for sexual release, it could hint at other problems e.g. he's not ultimately content in your relationship. Ask him why he does it and why he doesn't mind paying; does he feel that your sex life isn't entertaining enough, or that he's not getting enough satisfaction from you? If so, that's something you can address and I can't see why he wouldn't stop using the websites.

STOP. ARE YOU READING THE ABOVE POST?
If not, do it. I'm beginning to get the impression that 50% of TF is populated by literate parrots/sentient mirrors.

well, yes it is a way of cheating to me , at least.. and , to be honest, i don't think he really loves and cares about you because for you, he never has money but to watch naked girls , he does... it seems like he only cares about him, him, him

I think it could be classed as cheating, the bottom line is that he's make you extremely uncomfortable with the situation he has put you in due to his unacceptable actions.
I think you need to have a discussion with him on whats happening; why he won't spend money on his girlfriend, why he's using the websites and why he kept it a secret from you.
The fact that he's doing this is completely unfair on you and probably making you feel that your not enough for him, what he has done is totally out of order. The fact he's cheated on you and now he's doing this just truelly shows that he isn't properly commited to your relationship.

Yes, it's a form of cheating, at 'least in my opinion.

First and foremost, it's hurting you. You should talk to him about this immediately. I don't see why he feels the need to pay for this, as I'm sure there's plenty of sites that show these sort of videos for free (search 'Strippers' in a porn site maybe? xD).

Secondly, the fact he has the money to spend on these sites and not for you is wrong. I personally couldn't put up with that sort of behaviour.

Having read your other thread, I can't help but wonder; is there anything else he's doing that upsets you?

It's sad that he barely spends money on you but spends money on girls online.

I myself don't see it as a form of seeing because I work on a site like that and my boyfriend regularly goes on. But he doesn't spend money.

I guess the only useful advice I have is to talk to him about it. Tell him you're concerned.

Even if it's not considered cheating (I myself think it is) the guy is an asshole and you should get rid of him. Why? He's cheated on you before and the guy wont even buy you an icecream because he wants to jack off to strangers!

exactly !!! ^^

It isn't cheating, nor is it a valid reason to break up with him. If he want's to spend money like that then he can really. Get a job yourself and buy your own ice cream, and when he wan't one. Say no. Put him in his place, don't get worked up about it and then decide something when it's too late.

The fact is, your mainly upset because he spends money on things other than you, if he was spending his money on gaming rather than cam girls, then you would blame him for loving gaming more than you! Just take a step back, if you REALLY don't like it. Break up.

Hope it helped =D